So I've officially become the blogger I said I'd never be: the one that goes weeks without a post, leaving their faithful readers high and dry and bored and maybe even resistent to frequent the blog in the future. But honestly, life's just been a blur of finishing rotation, working part-time at CVS, and trying to soak up Nashvegas before I head on over the Pacific Northwest.

Tonight, however, was exceptional. One of my resolutions, if you will, before I leave this land of music and honey was to see as many concerts in my final days as possible. And tonight, one of my favorite singer/songwriters was giving a benefit concert at the Nashville Rescue Mission. I went with one of my faithful concert friends, actually a friend of Payten's that she lets me borrow due to our shared love of music. Another one of their Belmont friends joined us as well.

Tyler James is so fun to watch. I love seeing live music, but I sometimes get bored at shows. But these guys were having so much fun, and he's a refreshing artist in that he does music because it's natural to him, not to be seen or celebrated or validated. He's rare.

Then they had some of the missions' graduates tell their story, and I wiped away tears. It was so sobering to hear their life stories and how they had been changed by a relationship with Christ. One of the stories came from a guy that grew up like most of my close friends...middle class white America, went to college on a baseball scholarship, got good jobs and screwed them up because of addiction to drugs and alcohol. Ended up homeless in Nashville. Now he works at the shelter.

It really helped me put things in perspective. These people looked in the face of death and chose life...and Life abundant. I don't know if I've ever come to a crossroads of that depth. It reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for...and so much responsibility to use what I've been given for the furthering of the Kingdom.

Totally worth the admission

No one thing...

have I come up with that satisfies my need for a good blog topic. I've run across a few ideas in my head and situations in my life that appeared blog-worthy, but none stand out. So guess what? You get the treat of me running briefly through whatever has stuck and currently sits in my mind right now. Enjoy.

This past weekend I went to my friend Ben's wedding down in Texas. This was an interesting situation for a few reasons. The first one being these kids have known each other a total of 7 months. I know what you're thinking. I don't think we have to worry. I honestly believe they will be fine and are perfectly suited for each other. But it was odd to be there in support of the union when I didn't know the girl at all. I felt a bit detached. Second, it was just neat to sit back and take in the state of everyone's life now compared to where we were when we left each other back at Union. It has been a beautiful blessing to watch God write the stories of my friends' lives. He truly is a loving, faithful, and creative God. I cannot imagine having the symphony of my life composed, orchestrated, and conducted any other way than submitted to His Lordship. What a privilege to know Him and His love for me through the redemption He offered me and the purpose He created me with. Wow.

Today was Tuesday. And for some reason, after my rotation and running a few errands and while on the road, I became sensitized to the overwhelming sense of contentment that had been keeping me company throughout the day. I don't really know where it came from or what it was secondary to. I only know that it only comes from God. And for that, I was grateful to Him. I give Him all the glory. Isn't that what Piper talks about? Him being glorified and us being satisfied and the converse being true as well? I can only say I emphatically agree and am blessed to see it manifested.

Thursday night I start a small group Bible study for a group of ladies around my age. We're going through James, and it's going to be a quick one. Only 4 weeks. But I'm excited and humbled by the opportunity. I love to get into the Word with others. I pray God will illuminate His Word and captivate our hearts with His Truth. I believe He will for His purposes. Please pray for them and for me. I'll keep you posted...ha, posted.

Here's a thought...

And it's not a new one, but one that's been frequent here recently in my own life. It is that insecurity is another form of self-absorption. Whether the attention is positive or negative, it's still attention...with the focus being yourself. Geesh, that stings a little. It's amazing how just following the first and second most important thing God tells us to do will keep us from such pettiness. Loving Him and loving others usually requires a degree of focusing on those objects of our affection. Working to make that a natural occurrence will probably give us a selflessness as a side effect. Yes, I graduate in a month and until I pass my board exams, we will speak of everything in reference to drugs.

JADA'S IN!

After much prayer and stress...actually, it was probably stress then prayer, Jada got the call this afternoon that she has been accepted into UT pharmacy school this coming fall. We're sooooo excited; this is a huge blessing. It will be a fun, challenging, but much-needed new start for her.

I thought I would share some Truth that Brother Mike shared with us last night at Kairos...

Jesus said in John 14:6 that He was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. So if you look at it in terms of if/then statements, some interesting concepts arise. Let me expound.

If Jesus is THE WAY, then all who are without Him are LOST. In other words, there is no path worth taking that He isn't leading.

If Jesus is the THE TRUTH, then things that contradict His Word are LIES. That one goes further. In John 8:32, it says the Truth will set us free. If we're not getting the TRUTH from Jesus, not only are we believing and building our lives on LIES, but we are ENSLAVED by them. The BONDAGE that results from sin is highly overlooked. If we were aware of it and chose to be freed by the Truth of Christ, how much different would our lives look?

And lastly, if Jesus is the LIFE, then apart from Him, we are DEAD. So much Scripture backs that up, but we still seem to think we can get better for ourselves without submitting to His Lordship in our lives.

Just some interesting items that were illuminated for me last night.

Went to the Chapel...

And Britt got married!

Man, I had the BEST weekend in Dallas. I flew in on Wednesday night, hung out with Britt and Caleb, and stayed at their new apartment with Britt. The next day Britt and I went to "get our toes did", I got to hold and console a random baby (which I loved and was surprised that this woman was willing to let me help), and then we bought some fun eyeshadow. That night we went to Elizabeth's (Britt's roommate) for her lingerie shower. We had the best time! It was so fun, and her group of friends totally meshed. By the end of the weekend, I loved those girls and was sad that I wouldn't get to hang out with them on a regular basis. Later that night, about 7 of us stayed at a hotel and continued the "prep Britt for marriage" party. It was fun. I'll stop there.

Friday- rehearsal, met Caleb's boys, ran a few errands, then had the dinner at this bombin' barbecue place. We all got up and said nice things about the couple, trying to hold back tears. It was great. Both Britt's and Caleb's fams are great. Later that night we went to the beastly bridal suite at the nearby hotel and had a little dance party. I had, of course, come equipped with my iPod and speakers. Natty-tat showed out as usual, the best ghetto dancer I know. We even got the wedding moms involved. Britt's parents are Mike and Donna Morris, and Caleb's parents are Mike and Donna Martin. It's crazy. They go to church together, and they pretty much set the two up from the beginning. God is good. You knew that; I just thought I'd give you another example.

Saturday was fun. It was a blur of hanging out, getting ready, hair, makeup, dresses. I got to do two of the other maids' eye makeup and ended being the designated bow-tier for the sashes. I was glad to help and surprised I was chosen for the Martha Stewart-type function. My girl Meg spent about 30 minutes with a curling iron trying to make me pretty. She was a trooper.

The wedding was so much fun! Britt was completely calm as she sat there, looking like she walked off a page of a bridal magazine. Seriously, this girl was stunning. Truly Audrey Hepburn classy. We got through the ceremony and even did a little dancing on the way out of the chapel. Then at the reception, we did a LOT of dancing because the band was phenomenal.

Today, we went to Prestonwood Baptist (beast of a church) to visit Phil, the youth minister that I served under back at Germantown Baptist. He came to lunch with us, and it was a good visit.

The old FAB Four had fun, and because Matt and Brad (Meg's and Nat's husbands respectively) spent so much time with Caleb, I think we've officially started the FAB Four husband's club. We're just one short, and it will stay that way for a while. lol. It was almost therapeutic to see the old Memphis crew. We definitely made a name for ourselves as "those crazy Memphis girls". lol. We had to represent, what can we say?

Overall, I LOVED all Britt's friends. It was obvious that each girl played a specific role in her life. It was neat seeing the aspects that each person brought to the table. The coolest part of it all is seeing God's work over the years of Britt's life and what He did with each person at different parts. Britt's life is truly a testimony of His faithfulness, His perseverance in pursuing us, and the way He answers prayers. I saw God change her. I got to walk with her through that time. This weekend, I met the people who prayed that into reality. And it was a blessing to stand with them in support of Britt and Caleb as they started their life together.

Here comes the bride...

Don't worry. You haven't missed anything. I'm talking about Britt. I'm flying to Dallas tomorrow to be by her side during her second biggest life-altering experience (the first being salvation, of course) as her Maid of Honor. I feel just that-honored. I'm so excited about the shower I'm helping the Texas girls throw for her Thursday night. It should be great times and create fun memories.

Also, I'm encouraged by the prospect of good ole' TN boy Fred Thompson running for president. I don't think he's formally announced it yet, but he's thinking about it. And I'm all for it based on what I know right now. All of the current options from both parties make me really nervous. Although I feel that the Republican party has quite a mess to get out from behind with Bush's reign and that may rule them out from winning the White House just out of spite from the public, Fred gives me hope. He's the most qualified guy showing up so far. We'll see how things go. He's got a website. Google him. Sign the petition. Let a homie know he needs to show up for us.

So Much

that I have been meaning to blog about: stories, concerns, joys, pains. Now I feel like if I write it all, it'll end up being so long that no one will even care to read it. I probably wouldn't if I were you. Instead, I'll give tidbits. I'll hit the gist, leave it a bit vague, and then we can actually converse about things if you'd like to know more...this is assuming we know each other, of course.

Topic 1: If you read below (my earlier post from today), you can see that my beloved alma mater has joined the ranks of every other private educational institution in the state in believing it, too, needs a pharmacy school to serve the needs of our state. I believe they have heeded incorrect information, and beyond my feelings of anger and concern, it can be safely said that this is a bad idea for all parties involved. More of the reasons to come.

Topic 2: I am very sad to see my month at TPA come to an end. It culminated in an opportunity to sit on the Floor of the House during session yesterday with Representative (and pharmacist) Dr. David Shepard of Dickson. He's great, and I have immensely enjoyed working with him on issues this month. Pharmacists in our state are blessed to have him in the Legislature. During my Floor experience yesterday and throughout the month, I was also able to meet and cut up with other members of the General Assembly from various parts of the state. Just the networking has been amazing. And if you know me and know how I LOVE to meet people, you understand how well this fit me. Above all of these things, the ladies in the TPA office are such a great group of people. They gave me a card today to say goodbye and filled it with encouraging words to send me on my way.

Topic 3: Maybe the best topic would be certain growth that I've experienced recently. I have been praying that God would let me get a hold of my true identity in Him and stop battling certain insecurities that I allow Satan to beat me down with frequently. Most of them revolve around my perception of what a godly woman looks like (she's usually petite, sweet, quiet but strong, and outwardly compassionate). She has that shyness that guys see as mystery and come after her in search of the treasure they're sure they're going to be the first one to find. Then there's me: loud, animated, opinionated, boisterous, and outspoken- especially when it comes to matters of the Word and Biblical Truth. Most of the time I embrace these things, but like I said, sometimes I allow Satan to win. Well, this week, God answered my prayer in a couple of ways.

1. This kid I barely know from church shares some encouraging words based his limited observation of me. He even saw me in a game of Catchphrase, which can be translated as my loudest, most obnoxious, competitive, sassy form. But he seemed genuinely signed on to the Lauren Webb fanclub, and I was deeply encouraged.
2. An even bigger part would be Thursday night when I went through the PLACE class at Brentwood Baptist Church. It is a required class for new members, and it evaluates your personality, spiritual gifts, abilities, passions, and experiences in order to show you where you fit in Kingdom work. It is one of the most revealing and enlightening programs I've ever been through. It help me make sense of me. I learned how my being passionate, driven, persuasive, analytical, and intense could help me and hurt me in various settings. It explained so much. I think everyone should have to go through this. It could help you find a more fitting job, become more comfortable and in-tune with yourself, and ultimately free you to be all of you for God's glory. The instructor quoted St. Ireneaus, "the glory of God is man fully alive". I meet with a connection coach this Sunday night to interpret more about my results.

Thanks for reading. I tried, but I'm just too wordy. I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I challenge you to think about how alive you would say you are. How much of who God created you to be do you use daily and further- specifically for His glory?

Here's one for ya:

http://www.uu.edu/news/NewsReleases/release.cfm?ID=1162

I'm mad and sad and I'll write more when I've calmed down.

I don't think I've told you...

Reema's home. She's back in the 'Natti trying to nurse her shoulder back to health. She hasn't set definite plans for after that. Please pray for her as she adjusts to the U.S. culture after being away from it for two years. She talked like she had been in a time warp. We set her up a myspace page, so we're slowly bringing her up to speed. I'm thankful she's back and excited to see what God will continue to do in and through her.

The Good, the Bad, and whatever else...nothing ugly

GOOD:

• had a blast doing some salsa/other Latin dances Thursday night with my buddy Phillip, who-by the way- is for sure and by far the best guy dancer I've ever seen. He's a ballroom instructor, but anything from Jay-z to JT to Frank Sinatra, this kid can own it. NO question.
• went to Variety Show and my sister Daron won the small group competition! She came out in this stunning sequined dress and honkin' wailed "I heard it through the grapevine". Homegirl's got pipes. That's my dawg, right there.
• Got to see some of my fam for just a second this wkd.
• I'm really glad to finally have my car back. I drove it home yesterday, and I fell in love with it again.

BAD:

• had a little drama with my fam on Thursday night
• the Chi Omega's got absolutely robbed to the point of absurdity during Variety Show. ZTA's dance wasn't good nor had anything to do with the mo-town theme. If I were Chi Omega, since this happens every year, I've already told the girls, I would just boycott and not be in it next year. Seriously, I never thought I'd be on this side of things, but there's no question. I don't know if it's the judges they pick, or whoever tallies the scores, but ZTA undeservingly won...again.
• the processes that go on in the legislature kinda hack me off sometimes. It's just that justice is no where to be found sometimes. It all has to do with who wants what and what they have to do to get it. Some of the legislators aren't intelligent. That's the nicest way I can say it. Why they're up there, I have no idea. Overcoming hurdles such as that one and the fact that some of them are moral cowards makes progressing and protecting my profession difficult at times.

That's about it. I'm about to finish my last week at TPA. I'm kinda sad to leave. I love the ladies that work in there, and I really enjoy the activities on the Hill, as frustrating as they can be. And we all know I'm passionate about my profession. Getting to work on the front line for it has been very gratifying. Next month I'm doing psych at Centennial. That should be interesting. And that's my last one! After that, I'm off until graduation! How crazy is this?!

Unexpected

I was on gmail today at the TPA office, and my Hungarian friend Gergo (pronounced Gad-guh, kinda, but not really) was online. You may or may not remember that this guy was the only Christian that I met during my trip to Hungary, and he was well-versed in the Word. Kid knows some Scripture. I was very impressed. Anyway, we were chatting about life, school, etc, and then he asked, "How are things spiritually?"

I was kinda stunned at first. I don't know if it was because he asked or because I didn't know what to say or why this was so odd to me. But I was wierdly pleased that he did. I found it neat that this guy who I barely know, who I struggle sometimes to communicate with secondary to the language barrier, who I have spoken with just a few times at length about spiritual matters, was concerned about where I was in it all.

So there is God at work around me. There He is using whatever means He chooses to remind me that He's here, and He wants to hear from me. He wants to be intimately involved in every part of my life. I was faced with the question, "Why am I not letting Him?" after Gergo inquired.

But it was a good conversation that followed. Gergo, as usual, referred to many passages of Scripture to encourage and spur me on. How God works is beautiful.

TACOMA!

That's where I'm headed. I just received the email. Thanks for praying!

After a fun but long trip to Atlanta, Donna and I trucked it back to Nashvegas late last night. I wanted to make sure I was here for a specific bill that was coming up in the house health committee. Ugh. I should have taken the hint about what kind of day this could end up being after I locked my keys in the car this morning. Yep, sat my bag in the driver's seat, and then shut the door. Thankfully, I have the best roommate ever, and she brought me my spare this afternoon.

Sidenote: that whole rumor about if you hold the remote up to a cellphone that's connected to a cellphone near the car, you can unlock the door remotely...it's a lie. I called katie from a cell as I was standing at my car. She held the spare key remote up to her phone and clicked it as I held my phone next to the cardoor. NO magic. So tell all your friends: It ain't happening.

Then the legislature. On the health committee there were two people directly associated with healthcare making a point. Ask me if any of the other legislators voted with those two individuals. 3 others did. 9 did not. All of this secondary to politics. It was ugly. You can only imagine: I was ill. My personal sense of justice was extremely violated.

But hey, there's still a chance that someone down the pipe will understand the ramifications of the current language and choose to move past ignorance in order to see the greater good of the patient. They just don't understand what they're doing. I hate to think how often this happens.

In other news, I hear about the match tomorrow. Translation: I get an email tomorrow mandating where I will live and work for the next year of my life after graduation. I'm excited, and honestly, not very nervous. We'll see!

NASPA

I'm here in HOT-lanta a.k.a. the ATL or just Atlanta for those of you unfamiliar with the ghettro-fabulous nomenclature given this town. I rode down with Kam Nola, the associate executive director of TPA to catch the meeting of the National Alliance of State Pharmacy Associations (NASPA). It's so neat to get to sit in on meetings where the heads of pharmacy from the various states are here talking about legislative concerns, professional development projects, and other topics. I just eat it up. I also had the pleasure of meeting a few of them during the meeting and the reception that followed. I was introduced to the Executive Director from Alaska, and we sat together during the reception talking about culture, pharmacy issues, and her experience with her association. I had a blast.

I'm actually here for the American Pharmacists Association (APhA) annual meeting. This will be my fourt year, and it's wierd not running around as chapter president of our APhA-ASP (Academy of Student Pharmacists) chapter from UT. I don't have to be mother hen, making sure everyone else is where they're supposed to be and going to a million meetings of my own. I'm just riding Baeteena and Kam's coattails, meeting influential people and getting fired up about the hot topics in pharmacy. It's so funny how I get this desire to jump right in, gear up, and get ready to battle for the progression of this profession. I have no idea what that means toward my career path, but it's wierd how at-home I feel around people pioneering our futureas pharmacists. Who knows?

Another thing I LOVE about these meetings is seeing people I haven't talked to in a while. I've been around here long enough to establish a small network of friends that also frequent these meetings. Whether from UT, Tennessee, or I've just worked with them in APhA-ASP, it's always a joy to reconnect and then branch out further. I know all of my close friends are laughing as they read this because they understand my strange fascination with meeting people and building relationships.

And amid all this chaos, I'm still sitting in waiting to hear about where I'm gonna live and work next year. AAAHHH! I'm so excited to find out. I'll be pumped about any of my choices, but I accidentally kinda set my heart on one. Whatever, happens will be find. We'll see.

Brooke Off-the-wall, if you're reading this, it was a great surprise to see you and Meredith today, and I hope you have fun with us here in the ATL.

I went to visit my nanny yesterday because she has recently been in and out of the hospital with heart issues. Knowing what I do now, it was really hard to hear her story and the chain of events and not drive down to JMCGH to tell them what I think about their care. That's a sermonette of mine that I won't expound upon today.

Instead I'll talk about the great conversation I was able to have with my grandparents about life, politics, and the upcoming presidential race. It's very intriguing to me to see where people fall in their support of the presently-running candidates. I have my own opinions, and I get to read the left-sided view of Newsweek on a regular basis. But it's always new when you talk to each individual, especially when they're loyal to a particular party. It just seems like they're aren't any winners on either side of the race this time.

DISCLAIMER: The following is just my conclusion from the information I've gathered so far. It IS subject to change, and I reserve the right to do so at my choosing.

You've got Hillary, who in my opinion, overcompensates for the perceived weakness of women by just being harsh and a bit scary. I would never want to spend time with her. She never smiles, and when she does, it's a bit evil. She just has too much to prove to not be a liability.

Obama, he seems great, but what's he about? No one really knows. And he ain't saying. Sure, he's a stud and all, but does the kid have a backbone? And where will he stand on things? Is silence his leadership style? Not working. Plus, being a Democrat from the north, that just makes me a little weary of his moral stances - again, assuming he has any.

Then the Reds, McCain, who's one of the 5 people left in America who support us being in Iraq. Seriously, we screwed up. We really flubbed this one. Let's all admit it, and try to get out without shanking all responsibility. Mitt Romney. Right... Seriously? You think you're just like the Christian right? Are you kidding? My personal belief is that Mormonism is a cult. And you operate under a belief that you'll become a god when you die? Trust me; we have nothing in common. Then Giuliani, who stepped up as a leader during crisis but is actually a Democrat on every possible moral issue.

As I was discussing this with my grandfather, he made some great points. One hit me the hardest. He noted that all these "Christians" are up in arms about abortion being wrong, but none of them adopt children that they encourage people to have. His simple view of Biblical principle was dead on. I was proud to be his granddaughter. I respect his outlook. He has lived through and has seen a lot of things over a lot of time. He remains true to his wife, committed to his family and his church, and lives by his faith in Christ. I know he's not nor has he ever been perfect, but he's an example of a life lived well.

Lovin' some Legislature

I just started my rotation with the TN Pharmacists Association on Monday, and I love it. You may remember from previous blogs (or just because you know me) that when I served as president of our APhA-ASP chapter, it automatically made me chair of the TN Society of Student Pharmacists (TSSP), and as the chair of that society, I sat on the TPA Board of Directors. So I've had a great opportunity already to see the ins and outs of the association as well as build good working relationships with Baeteena, the Executive Director, Kam, the Associate Director, and the other great ladies in the office.

Today I got to follow Baeteena over to the State Capitol building to let some legislators know where we stood and where we'd like them to stand on a few bills. I loved it. I met Chris Crider, the rep. from Milan. What's wierd is that tonight at Kairos, the huge Bible study (seriously about 800 peeps) at my church, he was there with a new rep. from Germantown, Brian Kelsey. It was great getting to solidify our meeting-in-passing earlier that day. I got a chance to really talk to them about TPA, my future in lobbying (or lack of), and my opinions of the US from the world's perspective. It was good stuff. It kinda makes me a little sad to get connected, then jet off across the country next year. (No, I don't know where I'm headed yet, but they're all far away).

This whole legislation circus is a bit scary. Lobbyists get painted ugly sometimes, but trust me, if they weren't there, there's no telling what would come down the pipe and actually get passed into law. It's a fragile game. But it's fun.

As for the residency drama...I submitted my rank list tonight. I'm allowed to change it up to 11pm on Friday night. But I think I like it. No, I can't tell you what I put. (unless you call me and you are in no way connected to any of the programs). lol.

Here are some pics and a video from my Alaskan adventure.

Back in the lower 48...

I flew home from Alaska today. It was such a great trip. So much cool scenery, neat people, fun activities, and great conversations. I got to see the teams in the Iditarod. I got to see the sun set over the range near the Alyeska ski resort. I went skiing and almost killed myself trying to make it down the mountain. I wish I could have just taped some of my falls. They had to be priceless. Well, actually, they did cost me. I'm pretty sure my knee got bent a little further than it's used to, but no major damage.

So on the 5-hour flight from Anchorage to Minne-haha, I start thinking about the decision before me and become overwhelmed. I start crying in my seat because I have no idea what I'm supposed to choose. I read in the Word, and no verses are putting these fears aside. So when I land in Minneapolis, I call my mom, dad, and Buckle. A poor girl in the airport brings me a tissue because I'm on my cell crying in the terminal. I'm such a girl sometimes. But I really felt like I was at a crisis point. Trying to discern God's ultimate plan for my life as much as it depends on my choices is BIG and daunting and risky. There's so much to weigh out in a decision like this, and I didn't want to be making it alone.

Evidently their prayers worked because over the course of the two-hour plane ride back to Nashville, I feel like I know what I should do. I'm open to God changing my mind tomorrow, but for now, I think I've decided my rank order.

So that's as far as my decision goes. After this point, it depends on how the programs ranked me. So there's still a decent chance I could end up at any of my choices. I'll keep you posted. And now I feel like a fool for losing my grip so quickly. If there's any lesson God has taught me on multiple occasions, it's that He's faithful. Father, heal my unbelief.

Alaskan Adventure Part 2

When I arrived at the hospital yesterday morning, I was 30 min early. That's usually my plan. Get there early, read a little in the Word, call Mom for a last minute pep talk, get pumped and ready to meet people. Yesterday I got the greatest verse:

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established."

How great is that? After reading that, I moved over to sit by a window waiting for the residency director to meet me. I met the neatest group of people. They had come in and were waiting to start work for the day. The hospital has a program that provides work for developmentally-delayed adults, and so I made about 5 new friends during my wait. It was the perfect start to the day.

The interview went well: beautiful facility, great preceptors, love the director, and of course the residents are super-nice. Yesterday afternoon I hung out with Bert, one of the residents while Adam worked a night shift. We had a good time discussing theology, hunting two bald eagles, and seeing Anchorage. We stopped at Cook's Inlet (I think that's the name) and watched these massive pieces of ice move with the water. It was amazing. The winds were about 20mph, so the Explorer was rocking as we sat on the bluff. We went to Earthquake park where the quake of '61 caused a piece of land to basically dive under water when the plates shifted. Really neat. The mountains are phenomenal. They surround the city. BEAUTIFUL place.

I'm watching the Iditarod start tomorrow. I think there are 83 mushers in the race. That should be great. We may ski tomorrow as well. I'm having fun. I hope y'all have a great weekend.

Alaskan Adventure Part 1

So I made it. Nothing too eventful. 3 hour layover in Minne-haha. LONG plane ride to Anchorage. Met a girl who is interviewing with Providence on Friday. She had a pharmacy review book in her hand, so I made an assumption and introduced myself. I was right. Nice girl. What if I ended up working with her next year? Crazy.

Met some of the nicest people on the plane while were standing around stretching our legs. Pretty sure a lady who's husband works for Fedex knew the mother of one of my Briarcrest girls. Small world. Always. So far the tally is 1 connection made. I'm hopeful for more. Don't ask me why I play this game. I just enjoy it. Maybe I'm vain.

Had the nicest cab driver who's originally from Macedonia. Great story. The lady who owns the Bed and Breakfast I'm staying at is also great. She has a 4-year-old daughter who's precious.

It's -4 with a wind chill of -12 degrees here. Great times. Interview tomorrow. Beastly presentation. I'm a little nervous. We'll see how things go.

I'm tired...

of it. And disappointed too. Why does the Church (the people claiming to belong to Christ) in America look just like those who don't (belong to Him)? I can't figure it out. I know that society has been going to hell in a handbasket for decades now, but we weren't required to follow. Remember? We're DIFFERENT! We have been redeemed. We DON'T HAVE TO live in slave to sin anymore. So what are we doing?

I'm disgusted. And it starts with me. I've been spiritually lazy for over a month now, and the worst part is...NOBODY NOTICED. There are not many people near me who are challenging me and making me want to know Christ more. I do have a few, and for those I am eternally grateful. But when I'm slacking, it should cause issues in my close relationships. Sometimes it does, but someone should love me enough and be attentive to the Holy Spirit to know when I need a little spurring on.

What are we doing? I cried tonight for a while about my generation...and just the state of spiritual shallowness of too many Christians. I won't even get started on kids in high school now.

I expect lost people to act like lost people. Why would they be any different? But my pastor challenged us today by asking us what encounter did we last have with Jesus that defines how we now live. What's your answer? If it was your conversion however many years ago, what have you been doing? Why didn't you meet with Him this morning? Why don't I meet with Him multiple times every day? What are we thinking? That WE can do it? CAN we? Does that ever work out well?

Why do "Christians" not know enough about their faith to share with those they love? Why are they not trying to learn? Why are we rude, inconsiderate, impatient, dishonest, greedy, selfish, and mean? Why would "Christians" cuss? Is that a "freedom" you think you're entitled to in Christ? If you can explain to me how that directly brings God glory, I'll shut up about it. And don't even get me started on the "stumbling block" concept.

Why do we not want more out of our relationship with our Savior? He's the Lord of all that is. What better Person could you possibly have in your corner? I don't care where you are in this or if you've ever worked on your Walk with Him before, just GET STARTED. We are so running out of time. If He's not real and alive to you and you "know" Him, what hope does a lost world have of finding Him?

Ash Wednesday

Yep, that's today. So if you saw some people walking around with black dots on their forehead, they are probably Catholic, and they were showing reverence for the holiday. Once I was made aware of this beginning of Lent by a friend on MySpace, I decided to observe it.

The next step: what will I give up? I thought about the regular things: chocolate, cokes, coffee, or things like that. Then I thought about how improbable that would be for me. I've had at least two of the three already today. Then I decided on a couple of words that I would cut from my vocabulary for the 40 days.

This seemed simple enough. However, I counted a total of 6 times that one of them found its way to my lips. It is honestly disheartening that so little thought goes into what I let myself say. I had been convicted recently about words since the Bible talks so much about them and how not to use them frivolously. Ouch. Yeah, I'm feeling the sting on that one.

So I start this thing again tomorrow. And I'll keep trying until I finally break myself. I didn't realize how poorly disciplined I had become. Ugh. Spiritual out-of-shape-ness is uglier than physical. And way harder to fix.

This guy is honkin' hilarious. I think I've worn it out. It's on my myspace AND my facebook page. Seriously, this singer/songwriter Dave Barnes HAS to be one of the funniest kids I've ever seen. AND talented. Homeboy can sing and write as well! How come some get all the talent and the rest of us get very little? Shouldn't there be some rationing of this stuff?

I got to wear scrubs to rotation yesterday because I got to witness triple bypass open heart surgery, or a CABG (coronary artery bypass graft). It was really cool. I was never sick or even light-headed. I got a little nervous when they broke out the saw to crack open the sternum, but all went well. Neat stuff.

Then I flew to Chicago yesterday afternoon. Ugh, airlines. I'll stop there. Love this city. So much going on. And it was beautiful to get to see it all from the plane. It's huge. And freezing.

Currently the temp is -0.6 degrees with a windchill of -19. Lucky me. At least I'm getting a feel for what I would really be in for if I chose to work here. Please pray for my interview.

Have a great day.

My Valentine

Okay, I don't really have one, but I did receive gifts. My dad and my stepmom came up to drop off a car for me to drive since my policy on the rental ran out today. In the car they had left a gift bag of candy and a gift card, along with some food from MamaJo. They're consistently thoughtful like that.

Then I came home to see this...

from my awesome roommate. Why do I have all these amazing people in my life? I have no idea, but I'm thankful. See? No bitter single here on Single's Awareness Day. I had a great one, and I knew that I would. Happy Valentine's to you!

Not again...

I walked into Sunday School today to see a tv/vcr set up at the front of the room. Immediately, I groaned internally. I had an idea of what was about to take place. And sure enough, it was announced that we would be going through Tommy Nelson's study of the Song of Solomon. I winced as my dread was affirmed.

Don't get me wrong; this is a great study. I went to a conference of his live in Memphis, TN when I was a sophomore in college and have heard the tapes many times since then. He's the real deal. And he brings it.

However, as a Christian single, I get this sense that people, or better yet the Church, feel they need to address this issue that's lacking in my life. They act like, or I get the feeling that if I just learned the right Truth, or prayed the right prayer, or memorized the right verses, then God would bless me with a mate. I know that's not what they're saying, but it makes me feel like that sometimes.

I don't feel a sense of lacking...anything. And I'm very aware that whatever I may be lacking, there sure isn't any guy that's gonna bring it to me. The only thing I need is to be more like Christ, and I need that guidance in abundance.

I'm just tired of feeling like people see me as incomplete or immature or not having crossed some threshold of life because I'm not dating or immediately headed towards marriage. I'm not against any of those things, but they are just not in my life right now. And I'm okay with it! I like my life right now. I'm finishing up a doctorate program and about to move to some cool state north of here. I'm so pumped about the adventures that God has in store for me there.

And I tend to get into it with my family about my theories on the subject. I know I have high standards. NO, contrary to my family's belief, I'm not waiting to marry Jesus. But if my requirement that they love Jesus more than anything else, be taller than me, not able to be beaten up by me, have a level of intelligence that I can respect rules them out, it's not my problem! I'll stay single before I just settle for what I can see. I won't apologize.

I'm not harsh or scary or wierd about this stuff; I promise. I, like any other girl, can't wait to be pursued and romanced and appreciated. I look forward to serving and respecting and learning from and with a guy in the future. But there are only certain ways I will enter into that. And that's all I have to say about that.

Headed to Chicago on Thursday for another interview. I get to see my cousin Murray and his wife while I'm there. I'm excited.

In the Dub

Washington, that is. I apologize up front that this post may be a little random. I plan on touching on the shallow, not-important things then wrapping up with things that matter. So here goes...

The first leg went fine. Got on the plane in Nashville and got off at Denver. Had some time to kill. Ate supper. Called a few folks. Walked to the gate for my flight to SeaTac. There had been a medical emergency of some sort that I never figured out that caused the boarding to be delayed. But no big deal. I got put by a young guy who played the drums in a band and who I thought was going to beat the armrests off the row before the flight was over. But he was nice.

We landed about 10 minutes behind schedule, then it took them 20 to get our luggage off. Then I'm off to find the rental car. Well, because it's 11:00 p.m. now, the office inside the baggage claim is closed. Now I have to lug everything downstairs to the parking garage...which is where I find out that the company I chose has its office off-site, and I will have to catch a shuttle. So I walk over to the courtesy phone, dial my people, and let the guy on the other end tell me that they don't have any cars but to come on. I was ticked at this point. So I get on this shuttle and make the driver tell me that they do in fact have a car for me before I leave the premises. Otherwise, reservation or not, I was bout to be hitting up the places on site.

So this nice driver who unfortunately gets caught in this mess takes me over and I encounter the manager who doesn't care about and is in no hurry. And customer service is not a concept that has dawned upon these people, but they're generally nice, so we proceed.

All he had left was a black Jeep Commander. So I ended up with a way more expensive car for my same cheap rate. And this thing is G'd. Leather interior, huge interior. I really like it. I had forgotten what it was like to drive an SUV. I kinda missed it for a second. So I drove down to my hotel and things get way uneventful from here.

Interview today. Interview tomorrow. Now for the good stuff...

I was reading in Psalm 69 today at breakfast, and I realized that David was such a great pray-er. Prayer is something I've been wanting to become more effective at, and he's such a great one to learn from: so passionate, so real, and even though I know it's translated, his articulation moves me.

I find myself wanting to pray exactly what he did. Verses 5-6:

O God, You know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden
from You. Let not those who hope in You be put to shame through me, O Lord
God of hosts; let not those who seek You be brought to dishonor through
me, O God of Israel.

Then in verse 13, he absolutely nails it:

But as for me, my prayer is to You, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of Your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.

What's up, KC, what's up?

For those of you that know the good ole Sir Mix-a-lot song, that was for you. I made it to Kansas City just fine, and my buddy DJ Lee picked me up from the airport. Checked into the hotel before walking around the Plaza. Gorgeous area. Walked into some stores that no one I know would be able to afford...I'm talking Prada bags in some glass cases. Crazy. I tried not to touch anything.

Then I thought it would be a great idea to catch a movie since I may be one of the only people who had yet to see "The Pursuit of Happyness". So I bought a ticket. And for some reason, my body decided now would be a great time to launch into a full-blown, nausea-included migraine! Yay for me!

I had determined to tough it out at least to the end of the movie before walking up the hill back to my hotel. Excedrin migraine and a two hour nap saved my life before I had to get up and study the materials for my interview.

Made it to the interview just fine. Freezing weather, by the way. Everybody was so nice, and none of the questions really threw me. It was such a nice group of people, very supportive of the residents' learning and development. I was wrapping up with the program director when I realized it was 2:30 and my flight left at 3:55 at the airport that is located about 30 minutes out of town. And did I mention it snowed a few inches while I was there?

So after a few options retired, one of the residents offered to drive me. After pulling my bags through the snow and trying not to slip and fall (at times like these those big ole' hiking boots my dad bought me woulda come in handy) on the way to her car, we were on our way.

I got there at 3:30 to find about 200 people trying to get checked in. Let me just add that I texted Reagan, Donna, and Katie Rae to pray that I made my flight. So after them calling people whose flight was about to leave to the front and making it through security, I was waiting to board. They had delayed it just enough. I even got to sit near the front.

And now I'm home...back in the Nashvegas...waiting on the snow.

Can I just add that God is so faithful? I can't say that enough, but so many questions today, so many conversations reminded me that He is all over my life. I want Him to be known. I tried my best not to brandish Him over my head, but His banner over me is love! What's a girl to do? I got nothing better to talk about...seriously! So I did my best to keep it professional and on the correct side of certain lines. But I don't think it hurt me at all. I was genuine. I know that, and I think they picked that up. I will never suppress my heart, especially about something so vital.

And He is answering my prayers to grow my faith and to teach me to abide in His Spirit. Now I was a little nervous trying to make it to the airport, but somehow I knew it would all work out. When I prayed and asked my friends to pray, I knew God would answer that. And even if it meant another night in KC, that would work out and God would accomplish His plan for me that way. I'm excited about new growth. I'll stop there.

These kids have stolen my heart. You can probably see why. I never thought I'd be thankful for a speeding ticket, but it has brought me more joy than I could have imagined. I'm gonna go ahead and claim the divine providence that was at work in this one. And if you're in the Nashville area, you can meet them anytime.

Today's the day!

Or actually tomorrow...I'll be on the Price is Right with my pharmacy friends! I think it airs at 10:00 central. Hopefully someone in my fam can tape it because I'll be giving a presentation right about that time. Yay. We'll only be chillin in the audience, but still, fun times.

How great is this video? I never get tired of it.




And the blog below has nothing to do with it...at all.

I'm a dork.

You all knew this, but I'm about to confirm it. I was really excited last night when I was prompted to use none other than the crazy math I learned in high school and college. I seriously never thought I'd see it again; I was wrong. Here's the story:

Ok, so I'm working this word puzzle book, and it gives me a "brainteaser". It reads

Two forks plus three spoons equals $1.48. Three forks and two spoons equals $1.47. How much does one fork and one spoon cost?

So I set up the equations in order to figure this out scientifically. They should look like this:

2x + 3y = 1.48
3x + 2y = 1.47

The next step is to isolate one of the variables. I chose to isolate x. So I took the top equation and moved things around mathematically until
x = 0.74 - 1.5y

Then you substitute what x is equal to into the other equation so that the equation only contains one variable. It ends up looking something like this:
3(0.74 - 1.5y) + 2y = 1.47
Obviously multiply through the parentheses, add up the like variables, and it comes down to 2.5y = 0.75, so y = 0.30

After substituting y back into either equation, you solve for x. You find that x = 0.29

You can put them back through the original problem to check yourself.

Yay, I used math past college. It's a brand new day.

Plus, I get to see Katie Rae today, who's here nannying for a family for the weekend.

Through Pastor Sam's link on the left side, I stumbled upon some neat definitions of words that we throw around often in terms of schools of thought.

This site might be informative.

Oldie, but I love it!

Here's one of my favorite praise songs that never gets sung anymore...except by me during one of my little personal worship times before bed.

I could run away
You would never leave
You would always stay
right by my side.

Right by my side,
right by my side.

And I need You, yes, I need You
every step of the way.
And I need You, yes, I need You
every step of the way.

Everything I've ever wanted I've found in You
(right by my side)
Everything I've ever wanted I've found in You
(right by my side)


It's honestly hard for me to sing that now without bursting into laughter, thanks to one my pals who likes to change up the pronunciation. I was able to make it through a few times last night with no chuckles. Great song, now forever an inside joke as well.

What I love about Nashville...

Going to see live music...that's good...with friends...and family. Jada and her friend Megan came into town. Payten and her friend Amanda (from Belmont) came. And then all my pharmacy school/old UU crew. Had so much fun. Went to see this guy...

Andy Davis. I saw him on my birthday this year as well. Kid's money. I really like his voice, his melodies, and he puts on a great show. He'll sit and play this keyboard but kinda rock rhythmically to the music. Very cool...soulful...maybe could even be ghetto if he tried. You know I always think that's cool.

He was releasing his new cd. So you got a copy of the cd when you paid admission. Great deal. Good cd.

What's really cool about these Nashville people playing in Nashville is that all these other musicians that are their buddies come to watch them as well. So I saw Matt Wertz, Tyler James, and I think Brandon Heath (verdict's still out on whether or not that was actually him). PLUS...a major fan of these Belmont grads is Chris Rice! So yeah, he was there...supporting his boy.

I actually talked to Tyler James and Chris Rice. I just wanted to tell them that I enjoy their music, and that they really impact people. I would wanna know if it were me. I'm not shy, and I lack that inhibition that makes you think logically before you go up and risk making a fool of yourself in front of strangers. I've never had it. I guess foolishness suits me. And maybe, just maybe, they needed to hear some words of encouragement about what they do. I doubt it, but you never know.

I also introduced myself to this girl...Nicole Flatt. She's young and a great singer/songwriter from nashville. I had just stumbled upon her on myspace and loved her sound. So I told her. She was really excited, because it was the first time anyone had come up to her before. Her raw humility was refreshing. You can listen to her here: http://www.myspace.com/nicoleflatt .

The night was fun. We had a little trouble getting Megan and Jada back to my apartment. We somehow got separated on 440. lol. That was a trip...literally. But I had a blast.

Natalie came in today on her way to the 'Boro for a shower. We shared lunch at the good ole Cracker Barrel. good times. I miss ole Natty-tat.

I hope your weekend's a great one.

Europe's getting pelted with a storm dubbed "Cybil" that's left at least 33 dead (check international news to the left). the pictures are impressive. Beckham's coming to LA to be the savior of soccer in America. And Venezuela's letting Chavez approve laws by decree. (both of these stories are on www.BBC.com) Why is he still in power again? What a week!

My Sunday night was a wreck....literally.

After a great time of prayer for missions with a group from Brentwood Baptist, I left feeling so encouraged. I had decided to stop by the grocer to get ingredients for this week's lunch. As I'm driving down Old Hickory near my house, a van switches from the lane in front of me to the lane beside me. THEN decides to come back over and to avoid hitting him, I swerved onto an intersecting road and smashed into a car waiting at a light. Both car's airbags deployed, but all passengers were okay. There were three in the other car. They were supernice.

But as you might have guessed, the van pulled off. It stopped maybe long enough to see that we all got out of the car, but kept going. The cops came, the wrecker, our friend and family. So we'll see. I'm okay, just a bruised and burned wrist (I think from the steering wheel) and I can feel my neck tightening. We'll see. Here's the damage. God keeps reminding me that He has plans for me because He keeps letting me walk away from these things.

The black accord was facing forward, and the impact of the wreck turned it about 110 degrees to where we were both facing away from the road. It was sitting in the turn lane in the right side of the picture before impact.

Your Samaria

I was blessed to sit under the teaching of Mike Glenn, the pastor at Brentwood Baptist Church, this morning. He's been going through a series based on Acts 1:8 because he really wants to lead the church toward becoming a better example of an "Acts 1:8 church". Today he talked about Samaria: how they were a mixed race, looked down upon by the Jews, and basically shunned due to their past and their culture. He pointed out how Jesus gave no bounds when he commissioned the disciples to go and spread the Gospel. He didn't tell them to stop at this street or this socioeconomic background or this language or color. He went into Samaria Himself to show compassion and to convert the woman at the well. He saw no lines. He knew everyone needed Him and the salvation He offers equally.

Well, this is still the case, but we have our own lines now. Don't we? I wouldn't go into this area of town or be tight with this group of people or look or act like them. What are all the cultural and deeply-ingrained stigmas keeping me from meeting people where they are in order to take Christ and His message to them?

I was rudely interrupted with this Truth last week when I first visited the homeless shelter downtown. It's hard for me to explain without you seeing if for yourself, but these are not the people you see on the interstate ramps or sitting outside the restaurants downtown. Not that those people don't need help and compassion, they do. But these are people who are not into drugs or alcohol and have just fallen on hard times financially. Safehaven offers them shelter, food, and a program to equip them to live on their own again. It's great.

After the short time I've been doing community service there, I've been convicted about my own outlook: how I see them as different than me, how I think they should know certain things to do and not to do, how I think they should handle their children and themselves, how I (shamefully) try to justify their situation. It's gross that this stuff exists within me. Me, wanting to do missions and love people to Jesus.

This past Friday night I was the overnight volunteer at the other shelter, one I had not been to before. They just require that you lock the place up, make sure the residents are following the rules, then you go to sleep after everyone's appointed bedtime (kids at 8:00, everyone else at 10:00). I had met a few of the kids the night before, so I knew about 30% of the residents already. It was a smaller group, and I was really tired and didn't have much energy to build relationships. However, once the kids went to bed, I had an opportunity to talk with a woman, mother of 4 and married to the only man in the shelter.

I'll call her Sharon for the sake of the story. Sharon is white, probably early 30's, came from middle class America. Sharon fell for David (another made-up name), a mixed man, her sophomore year of high school. Sharon and David got married four years later. They have since had four kids, been separated, been shunned by her family, and squandered money from good jobs, which ended them up in the shelter. She was honest about how she never thought she'd be there. They had a house, car, and the typical American life. They just made some bad decisions. Now she and David have just gotten back together from being separated. They and the four kids, (10, 6, 4, and 2 years old), now live in one room in a homeless shelter. After hearing her story and the soft honesty of her heart, it broke mine. After 13 years, they are trying to get back on their feet. They're learning to budget, to parent, and to live responsibly. And they don't have anything to prove. It put things in perspective as to why they didn't behave as a drill sargeant when dealing with their kids. They' re tackling one thing at a time.

Right now, the people at the shelters are my Samaria. I desire to break down all walls and barriers. If next year, when I become completely financially independent, I don't make good decisions, that could be me. I'm no different. We all need Jesus.

Speaking of Samaria and different races, I also had a conversation with a friend today on inter-racial dating. I won't cross that bridge today, but I will say that I'm tired of ignorance that perpetuates divides. I'm tired of assumptions that sustain the chasms. As long as there is an "us" and a "them" regardless of what the basis is, there will never be a "we".

Africa

Reems has new pics up...of Mozambique. Yep, you guessed it. They are once again amazing. Let her know. Click at left.

In Other News...

I'm super-excited to say that I'm in the middle of my first experience as a maid of honor! Britt sent me a card in the mail yesterday, and I bout had a panic attack as I was driving down the road. I'm nervous, because I want to be the best one ever. I've already started the plans for the getaway weekend/bachelorette shindig. I'm so excited. Maybe I'll get some tips from Ginger. Hmmmm.

Oh, and props to the SEC for the gators' win. I was kinda glad to see OSU humbled...or who are we kidding-DRILLED. Yay for underdogs.

Some fun pics from the holidays...

The Webb family kids

the old crew hanging out in FBC Huntingdon's new sanctuary

Love this lady, my Nanny

cutting up...

our cd cover

strong boys...

get even stronger, and I'm holding light

New Year's

some of my favorites...hope you liked them.

I'm warning you...

I'm not really sure where this blog is going, but I feel a need to revamp. Not the blog, not my hairstyle, not my future. Maybe my perspective, or my world view, or my self perception. I'm really hungry to learn and be improved by what I encounter.

Different inputs have been blowing my mind for the past month or so, and I've been very blessed for God to use such unique avenues to expand my mind about Himself:

1. Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. I've been reading through it for over a month now, small pieces at a time in order to savor the small morsels of sensible outlook and understanding of Truth. He's genius. I know everybody always says that, but seriously, read the book...slowly. He was dead on. I may end up blogging on some pieces from that soon. I have many pages marked to share. I know you're excited! You could save yourself the trouble and read it on your own!
2. Conversation. I've had so many stimulating ones over the break and even recently with various types of people from all across the board: my amazing friends from college, or after or before, my coworkers, my room-mate, my family, and sometimes random strangers. It would be insane for any one person to think they had everything figured out and that they could not benefit from deep transparency and accountability with at least one other individual. The Biblical ideal of community and relationship and walking together becomes more and more real and necessary to me all the time.
3. Teaching. I've listened to some great sermons, some great songs, and been challenged by others equipped to expound upon Biblical Truth. My home pastor, my friends, random pastors I've been able to hear, singer/songwriters, Mike Glenn from Brentwood Baptist. Each of them do what they have been built and equipped to do, and it's beautiful. It makes me want to fully let go and brace myself for what niche God has for me to fill in His beautiful scheme of accomplishing His glory.
4. Stillness. Over the holidays I've been able to just slow down a bit. Stop pressuring myself with deadlines and "efficiency" and just exist the best way I know how in each moment. It's hard to retrain yourself, but it's worth it and I want to get better at it. I need time to process, to rethink, to assess. I know you're all thinking "yeah, right, like you need more chance to analyze". But I actually do. My thoughts need to be bathed in Scripture and cleansed with Truth. And the final result should be a person who looks more like Jesus.

I've decided that's it. You can call it my New Year's resolution if you need to, but that's my life plan: look more like Jesus. Conform to what He would do and how He would love and how He would trust His Father's plan. I want to move towards the eternal and let go of more and more temporal. Do I think I can do this? No, not quickly and definitely not without failing, but His Word is true. His mercies ARE new every morning. And what else is worth striving for?

Friday's adventure

First, I'll need to provide some background. I received a speeding ticket back in August on I-40, and I made the cursed mistake of getting it in Putnam County. I'm not sure if the county just needs money or maybe speeding is their greatest pet peeve. But these people don't play. There's no driving school. They don't lower your speed at all. They don't care about much besides you paying your money. Well, they have built in one concession that if you are going over ten miles over the limit but under 15, you can do community service but STILL pay at least the full price of your ticket and keep it off your record. 4 hours of service for each mile over ten over that you were going.

Well, I was rolling about 85 in a 70 (don't let your jaw drop; it's I-40). So yep, I got 20 hours due Jan. 12 with a recent extension until Feb. 16th.

I started calling around when I got back from California the first part of December, and no one would return my calls, or they don't do court-ordered community service, or we need volunteers only from 9 to 5. I tried again the week between Christmas and New Years to no avail. So this week, I'm getting stressed and desperate, and I'm just asking people to give me ideas if they can't help. Oh, and did I mention it has to be at a nonprofit organization and NOT at a church. Ugh. I feel a debate rising there, but I'll trudge on.

So after much prayer and desperate calling, I got in touch with Safehaven Family Shelter and spoke with a nice young woman from Scotland (with the coolest accent). She said she could get me my hours if I would just come in yesterday afternoon to meet her (because I'd be working with kids). And it was so neat. It's one of the few shelters that houses the families together. They each get a large room with many beds in it. They're required to work, give 75% of their salary for the shelter to return to them as a nest egg when they leave, and all the kids have chores around the shelter. I was just working on the computer when some of the kids started trickling in. They are definitely not shy, and they immediately came over the meet me, ask me questions, try to help me, and some just wanted to be touching me. I loved it. Their need for affection was touching and saddening. But I get to hang out with them again today and a few more times.

I'm way excited about this opportunity, regardless of what spawned it. I'll keep you posted...ha, posted. That's funny.

Yay! It's a new year,
and I'm learning to manipulate HTML coding! Woohoo! Trust me; I have to be excited because that's about all the good that happened today. I went to my rotation, which wasn't too bad but not mind-blowing either. Then I decided to run over to Bread and Company for lunch just across West End. As I was snaking my way out of my car (the car beside me was close), my door shut behind me...with my bag inside...with my keys and cellphone...and the door was locked. So I didn't immediately panic. I was actually proud of myself for making it into Borders and asking for the phone and a phonebook. The guy was supernice and sympathetic as I called a few people before someone told me a timeframe I was willing to deal with. 30 minutes. So it takes about 45 or more, and the dispatcher girl who will say anything because she knows she'll never have to see you acts annoyed that I don't have a contact number. Um...cellphone in the car...what part of that did you not get? So FINALLY this kid shows up and charges more than should ever be allowed for 2 minutes of work. Seriously, this is like highway robbery. I get back to the office, and it's no big deal. The woman I'm shadowing is supernice and a Beth Moore fan. Plus.

I finally make it home after an hour of crazy traffic, and I check the mailbox. Well, I get one of those little keys that allows you to open a larger parcel box where they put mail that won't fit into our little slot. Well, there's no label on the key. There are five possible boxes for it to open. So I try them all, and I will have you know that it opened not a single one of them! So I left a nice little note for the postal worker to please help me get my package. We'll see how he or she responds.

Then I get a call from a friend needing help. But the help she needs is not help I am able to give her. Situations out of my control such as this one make me mad and make me want to cry because I can do nothing about it. I can and will pray about it. I trust that God is in control, but in the meantime, I'd like to just try violence to beat sense into people. How do you deal with people you love living in deception? Not just deception, but ultimately destruction. What's that coping mechanism? Better yet, how do you talk to them without expressing anger at having to witness their demise?

Things out of my control is obviously God's first lesson for me in 2007. Man, it's a tough one. I tend to pray for humility at the craziest of times. I think He likes answering that one a little too much.

The Christmas celebration is over, and it's been a great one. I love getting to be around my family and old friends. However, I'm not super-excited about jumping back into things on rotation in Nashville. I look forward to learning more and being exposed to more, and of course this residency circus promises to be an adventure. But overall, I get that creeping, overwhelming sense of the monkey on your back. Those of you in school, especially with me the past few years know exactly what I'm talking about. It's that feeling that you should be doing more. Studying more, learning more, getting more done. Ugh. It's the worst. It handicaps you from being able to exist completely in your present situation because you're stressing about the future.

About a month ago, I had been reading through Psalms and trying to get a hold of God's Sovereignty through the writings of David. And peace came easy. Then I let go of it at some point. And started depending on my own strength (which we all know leads to disaster).

Now I start the slow trek back up that hill. And just in time, because I can't afford to enter 2007 with a deceived perception. I want to live fully the adventures God has coming my way. I want to abide in the peace He freely offers with just the knowledge of Who He is.

Sidebar: Congrats to Ben Doc and his new fiance on their recent engagement. And last but certainly not least, Congrats to my girl Britt and Caleb on their more recent engagement!

"I'll be home for Christmas"

...like today. I'm going to brave the headache that is I-40 and truck it back to cozy, little Huntingdon. I need to see my fam. Being up in Nashville without school and only the residency stress to keep me company has been a bit of a downer. I need rejuvenation. I need to be reminded of all the amazing family God has blessed me with and what I mean to them. And more importantly, how I can learn to become more like them.

I hope each of you has safe travels and a blessed Christmas. The exciting thing is that this is where it all starts for those who believe in Jesus. This is the celebration of the beginning of His story. It still baffles me that He came "while we were yet sinners" (Romans 5:8).

L.A., take it back!

We don't want it. Yeah, that's right. Your weather. You can keep it. It's nice and all to be 70 year-round with a nice breeze, but just let us experience it when we visit. Don't be trekking it over here to Tennessee. We like our Christmas cold-ness. So go back. What's the point of me getting a new coat for Christmas if I have to wait until I move next June to a colder climate to wear it? I've given up all hope for snow, but seriously. I want it to be chilly. I miss the natural rosiness of everyone's cheeks and nose. It's cute.

We're not trying to be California over here. We like that we experience both winter and summer. But now we're just getting a year long summer-autumn. I would at least like it to drop below 50 at some point before Christmas day. Maybe?

From the Facebook group "The Wit and Wisdom of Jada Butler"...

I couldn't resist. These are a treat...

Did ya'll know everyone's got tonsils? Sick! Get it, tonsils!"--Submitted by Matt Owens

"Prussia? You're just making up countries now." --Submitted by Daniel Freeman

"There is no such person as President William McKinnely! Ya'll are makin stuff up...oh and he was an SAE too...yeah I bet. Ya'll are really makin stuff up now!"--Submitted by Jacob O'Brien

"I am lost as the day is dawn."--submitted by Meghan Deakins

"Sick, Mowens, are you afraid of getting melanoma or something?" (In response to Matt ordering a well done hamburger)--Submitted by Matt Owens

"Yeah I like Japanese food...its American."--Submitted by Meghan Deakins

"My hands don't stink...they smell like the world."--Submitted by Kyle McCann

"I could beat her up with sticks and cans"--Submitted by Meghan Deakins

"I hate water... it tastes like liquid air!"

"Jesus wasn't white; He spoke Arabian!" - submitted by Jacob O'Brien

My personal fave..."It's cold as Methuselah in here."

Please don't get the wrong impression. She's a smart girl. She definitely made better grades in the chemistry department at Union than I did. She just doesn't always think before she speaks. And that makes her way fun to be around...at least for the laughs. No, seriously, we love her. You would too, after you stopped laughing.

What about your friends?

Anybody hearing the old TLC song? Come on, you know it.

I always go on and on about my family and how much I love them. And I do. They're great, and I'm overwhelmingly blessed to have them. But I also have a bombin' group of amazing individuals that I get to call "friends".

I love how hard times brings them into the spotlight or sifts them up like gold-diggers panning for gold in the stream. I know, what a dumb analogy, but you get it. Just this week I've gotten to speak to so many of my friends who are miles and oceans away. This is not an exhaustive list, but to name a few:

• My girl Reagan up in Philly. I draw so much strength from a fellow loud sista' who loves life and sees everything as an adventure and a learning experience
• Donna, my airport driver who's picked me up more than once now and listened to me whine through tears. Plus, she always laughs at my jokes. You gotta keep those close.
• Nat, a consistent communicator, always willing to lend an ear and a word of encouragement
• Britt, my girl that I get to talk with the lisp with and laugh about life and love with
• My roommate Katie, who listens and supports and shares about her life and lets me share about mine
• My friend Jenn down in Texas, who loves me unconditionally and makes me believe I'm a minister to her
• TB, my med school friend, always willing to share a meal or hang out...and did I mention the bomb at some flag football?
• Cesar, an old friend from high school, who I've recently gotten back into contact with in the last month
• Tim Yzzy, up in Washington state, catching up about life and surprisingly encouraged me with a convo he had with a friend recently
• last but certainly not least, the tried-and-true buddy across the ocean, Mr. Casey Stafford. finally got to talk to him on the phone today. It was exactly the encouragement I needed. That's my dog, right there.

I can't wait to see and speak with more over the holidays. I'm thankful that God has chosen to bless me with friends. They make life so much more enjoyable, and sometimes it takes them to make it bearable. The unconditional love of Christ has been much easier to accept and understand through the friendships He has given me.

Praise the Lord for friends!

After driving back to Nashville from home today, I went to Kairos, the Bible study for young people held at Brentwood Baptist on Tuesday nights. I love hearing from Brother Mike Glenn, and I usually enjoy the music, and I needed some restoration and refreshment. And it was dead-on, as usual. On my trip back, I was able to speak with Katie Rae, the woman that discipled me at Union. We hadn't talked on the phone for an extended amount of time in months, so this was also needed and therapeutic. She shared some great Truth (as she usually does) about practicing the presence of God, and it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

Tonight he spoke about the Christmas story and made the point that God never complained that Jesus was born in a stable. He just used what was there as a place to get started. Not to diminish His Sovereignty in the orchestration of the event, but He didn't set them up in a four-star hotel. And the Bible never mentions an innkeeper. God can do whatever He wants with what He chooses to use. That was his challenge. He just wants to get started. Same thing with Abraham. Abe wasn't bringing anything to the table, and God (obviously) knew that. But that's where He wanted to get things started.

So the same applies to us. Nothing DEPENDS on us. He just wants to get started. And we need to bring what scraps we have to offer for the process. That's our celebration of the Christmas story. We need to join in what He's already started, and let Him get started on and in us.

Anaheim and residency madness

I've had a blast so far in Cali. I had fun with Will Saturday, meeting his friends and seeing LA. Then I got to hear John McArthur preach Sunday morning. It was really neat. He's a great teacher and a thorough Biblical scholar. He referenced his statements throughout the message with exact Scripture passages. Very impressive.

Best part: when he came on stage to preach, the 70-person choir was still standing, so he made a motion with his hand for them to sit, and they did. Then he said, "Wow, I didn't know I could do that. That's about all I can command around here. Me and Benny Hen." How funny is that? I busted up laughing. I couldn't believe he dropped that from the pulpit. It was nice to hear a little humor from one of today's greats.

Then I came to Anaheim via Will's gracious travel service (he drove me all the way down here). I was immediately thrown into the ASHP chaos once I found the correct hotel. (I got him to drop me off at the wrong one by mistake.)

I had a blast with my roomies and all the old friends and pharmacy contacts I've made throughout the years. I met and spoke with different programs around the country to see where I might like to end up next year. The showcase is so helpful. I was able to narrow down my 24 interests to about 5 good programs that I'll be applying to. I'm not going to list them on here since they might be subject to change, but if you're interested, email me and I'll fill you in. I'm excited. And just to give some hints, I'm not going to end up in TN. I'm not even applying to any programs here. So come visit me wherever I go!

So yesterday, I woke up at 1:45 a.m. to get ready, pack my stuff, and leave for LA from Anaheim. My friend Sara and I were on our way to meet other UT friends outside CBS studios to get in line for "The Price is Right". We were told we needed to be there by around 4 in order to secure a spot in the audience. Ugh. I had two hours sleep. But we got on the show. It was an all-day process of getting in-line, waiting, being told to come back, then more waiting. Then they started taping. My friend Paula had made these great neon green shirts with glitter on them for us to wear. There was eight of us, total. We kept hoping they would call anyone from our group, but it never happened. We still had fun, though. With such little sleep, we were delirious the entire day. But it was worth it to see Bob Barker way up close before he retires. He's so nice; the whole set crew is. And the stage is sooo much smaller than it looks on TV. Very sneaky, the TV people.

Now I'm hanging with Will in LA. It's a really neat city. We're eating sushi with my pharm school friends and previous roomies tonight. Then I head back on Sunday evening. I have a busy month of applying, writing, working, volunteering, and wrapping to get back to. Ugh.