Sunday, February 11, 2007

Not again...

I walked into Sunday School today to see a tv/vcr set up at the front of the room. Immediately, I groaned internally. I had an idea of what was about to take place. And sure enough, it was announced that we would be going through Tommy Nelson's study of the Song of Solomon. I winced as my dread was affirmed.

Don't get me wrong; this is a great study. I went to a conference of his live in Memphis, TN when I was a sophomore in college and have heard the tapes many times since then. He's the real deal. And he brings it.

However, as a Christian single, I get this sense that people, or better yet the Church, feel they need to address this issue that's lacking in my life. They act like, or I get the feeling that if I just learned the right Truth, or prayed the right prayer, or memorized the right verses, then God would bless me with a mate. I know that's not what they're saying, but it makes me feel like that sometimes.

I don't feel a sense of lacking...anything. And I'm very aware that whatever I may be lacking, there sure isn't any guy that's gonna bring it to me. The only thing I need is to be more like Christ, and I need that guidance in abundance.

I'm just tired of feeling like people see me as incomplete or immature or not having crossed some threshold of life because I'm not dating or immediately headed towards marriage. I'm not against any of those things, but they are just not in my life right now. And I'm okay with it! I like my life right now. I'm finishing up a doctorate program and about to move to some cool state north of here. I'm so pumped about the adventures that God has in store for me there.

And I tend to get into it with my family about my theories on the subject. I know I have high standards. NO, contrary to my family's belief, I'm not waiting to marry Jesus. But if my requirement that they love Jesus more than anything else, be taller than me, not able to be beaten up by me, have a level of intelligence that I can respect rules them out, it's not my problem! I'll stay single before I just settle for what I can see. I won't apologize.

I'm not harsh or scary or wierd about this stuff; I promise. I, like any other girl, can't wait to be pursued and romanced and appreciated. I look forward to serving and respecting and learning from and with a guy in the future. But there are only certain ways I will enter into that. And that's all I have to say about that.

Headed to Chicago on Thursday for another interview. I get to see my cousin Murray and his wife while I'm there. I'm excited.


Anonymous said...

okay can't wait around on your couch and expect God to bring your man to the door!
ha...(as the above was a quote from my grandmother towards me)
don't let others make you feel insecure about being single...and as picky as i have always been...God finally found that his timing was right in bringing Brad to me...which means He will do the same for you when the time is right. until then, you are the only one who feels others look at you like that...your true friends know everything you wrote isn't necessarily the case! enjoy the time you have to be free and independent...nothing holding you back because God has His plan in the works!

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with your comments....i am completely happy now with my life and i am not interested in settling for anyone less than God has planned for me! love ya lady!

Anna said...

Amen. Love this, seriously! How've you been?