Debrecen
This week's journey led us to the second largest city in Hungary, a city which also boasts a university attended by over 20,000 students. Our reason for visiting is that one of the four pharmacy schools in Hungary is part of this university. The city has about 200,000 citizens compared to the 2 million of Budapest. We traveled there by train, and after about a 2.5 hour ride, we were greeted at the train station by Aniko, one of the pharmacy students we met at Siofok, and her friend Brigitte. They took us to Tessco, their equivalent of Walmart to purchase breakfast foods. It was neat. They have many shops outside of the actual store part.
We were to meet Gabor, our main host, at the "hostel" for international students. Gabor was one of our new friends from Siofok. We really enjoyed spending time with him there and were eagerly anticipating visiting him in Debrecen. He has a unique history: born in Hungary, ended up working for a nobel prize winner in hormone receptor research at Tulane University for 15 years before the scientist moved his lab to Miami, where Gabor followed. Now Gabor has been working part-time at Debrecen University AND in Miami, doing research and teaching.
The international "dorms" were very nice. We each had our own room with a tv, microwave, and little fridge! We even got to do laundry in the basement for free. This was a treat you would have to be us to truly appreciate.
We were hosted by various students and residents during our stay. The first night we went to dinner with Gabor, Miklos (another friend we met in Siofok who is a scientist in biopharmaceutics/pharmacokinetics/pharmacodynamics, we were basically surrounded by really smart people), and Gabor's two residents Melinda and Marian. We tried authentic Hungarian goulash, which was to me a bit like a beef stew with carrots and potatoes and of course, paprika, which is a staple among Hungarians. We enjoyed great conversation about our futures, the profession, boys in the US and in Hungary, and many other fun topics.
In the dorms we met a nice guy named Max from Germany who's in med school there. We hunted him down when we noticed him on the way to the laundry room so he would teach us how to use the machines. We also met a girl who's room abutted mine originally from Iran but had moved from San Diego to start med school. Many of the students were from other countries: Iran, Israel, Sweden, US, Germany, etc.
The next day we met the dean of the pharmacy school and two of his residents, Bela and Gergő. It took us two days to be able to almost-correctly pronounce the latter's name. They showed us around by taking us down-town to the main square. We visited an old church where Calvin preached. The story was very neat, and the interior of the church was stark white, representing the initiation of the purist movement. Definitely things that interested me. We climbed a tower in the church that overlooked the city. It was beautiful and tiring. We also visited a museum that housed three huge, marvelous paintings about Christ. Munkácsy is the guy's name. The paintings were each the size of a large wall and just breath-taking. You could sit for hours and ponder the depth of each portrayal: one of Christ before Pilate, one of Christ before the people, and then one of Him on the cross.
That night we had pizza and were surprised to find that Hungarians like ketchup on theirs. lol. We then drive all over Debrecen to find someplace doing karaoke to no avail. After a fun night of jokes and laughs, we headed home.
We did our presentation again for the students there, and I think it went well. I'm not sure how interesting it was to them, but they were at least attentive. We got to see our friend Peter, one of our hosts at Siofok, again and he of course, took us for dessert. lol.
Our last night was one of fun and friends. We went to a small pub and talked and laughed until it was time to venture to the disco. lol. It was a very new experience for me. The club was on campus, so there were students everywhere. The place was huge. And of course, bumping with some techno true European style. They did play one bombin' Puffy song that I had to break it out to, but other than that, not much dancing. We didn't stay long because were exhausted and had much to do before we left today.
We said our goodbyes today, and Lan and I were genuinely sad to leave all the new friends we had made. We had good talks and laughs and of course, food. We all exchanged emails, so I hope we can keep in touch.
Lan and I are headed for Prague tomorrow. The flight options to Lithuania were out of our range for this weekend. I think we are going to try for next weekend. Please pray that we make it there. I really want to visit Casey. We'll see.
Not to make little of it, but I wanted to say that God has answered prayer while I've been here. I was able to have some neat conversations that really challenged me in my walk, which I had been desperate for since I haven't been able to attend church while I'm here. So thank all of you that prayed for me as well.
Thanks for reading. I miss all my friends and fam back in the US of A. Peace.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Gyogyszereszek Jubileumi Kongresszusa
The fifteenth annual Hungarian Pharmacy Congressional conference started on Thursday. And we were driven in from Budapest just in time. We were greeted by and have been since hosted by a young pharmacist named Peter. He knows English incredibly well and has gone to great lengths to show us a good time. It started with him driving us around in his bombin' BMW that actually showed TV shows on the screen when it can pick up a signal. We took a ferry across Lake Balaton (the second largest lake in Europe) to a church way up on a hill (pictures to come later). Peter took us to two different places to make sure we had some adequate desserts, which Lan and I had no problem with. Later Thursday night, we met back at the conference center to greet Dr. L.B. Brown, one of our professors who has a long-standing relationship with the pharmacy association as well as with the Hungarian minister of health. We went along with a few other invited guests to a boat tour for dinner. We met two other professors from Debrecen, another pharmacy school in the country. We all sat together during dinner and the live entertainment, which included an older gentleman singing rock music. So much fun.
Friday was our big day. We got up in time to take in the exhibition, which is a lot of vendors selling their wares to the pharmacists who visit...much like TPA or APhA on a little bit smaller scale. Then we had lunch at the VIP table in the dining room. And let me add that we haven't been allowed to pour our own drink, open our own door, or pay for anything since we've been here. The Hungarian men are amazing at chivalry. But be careful with your dispensation of smiles. Sidebar: on our drive to Siofok from Budapest, I met eyes with a gentleman beside us at a stoplight probably of 45 years of age, and you know the story-he smiled, I smiled back, and then much to my surprise, homie's hanging his business card out the window. I about died! lol. I turned away and made Lan confirm that it was actually happening. Stopped in traffic is evidently no obstacle to love.
Okay, so back to the boatride, if you can imagine having your professors, bosses, whoever, around you, asking you questions about your future plans, hobbies, interests, what have you. Picture this on top of them drilling me and Lan as to why we don't drink and already planning our demise. lol. Evidently we were quite a let-down in this area from the students of the past. lol. Hungarians don't play when it comes to drinking. They all do...and they do it well. We still get it offered every meal, every day, never fails.
Ok, back to Friday...we are following a pharmacist from Germany and preceeding L. B., which is extremely intimidating. We remembered to speak slowly so that the interpreter could catch what we were saying. I think it went well. Everyone was very complimentary, no big bobbles or flops. I felt great about it.
Then we decided to walk back to our hotel instead of getting a driver. We needed exercise and there hadn't been that many turns. After getting directions and promising Peter we wouldn't, we got lost. We walked around for an hour and a half before giving up, returning to the conference, and then getting a ride back to our hotel. Hilarious.
Friday night was the BEST!!! After dinner, there was entertainment of an old rocker and a group of dancers. We walked in late, took our VIP seats, and enjoyed the show. At one point, the man stuck the mic in my face to sing, only to realize I didn't speak the language. Then he made fun of me the rest of the show. Typical. After that show, we went upstairs to enjoy the singing of Hungary's Megastar winner, much like our American Idol. She was awesome. She even sang some Aretha. THEN the fun really started. Hungarians love to dance...so we did. L.B. didn't hesitate, and I didn't either. Lan, however, refused to join us on the floor. We danced up a sweat until the karaoke started. L.B. kicked it off with some Elvis. SOOOOO much fun. Then I went to check out his English collection, and sure enough, there it was...my FUGEES. So without hesitation, the dj let me go next and I sang Killing Me Softly with all my heart and with about 10 people singing behind me. L. B. was impressed with my ghetto-ness and of course, asked where I grew up. lol. Typical. Lan and I left around 12-something and got ragged by all of our elders who ended up closing the place around 3:30. These people are fun.
Today we did the tourist-y trek to a fortress and watched a medieval re-enactment with horses, swords, and colorful flags. The men would compete and win a flower, and I had no idea what they were doing with it when a guy on a horse dipped down and handed it to me. I was extremely embarassed. I was handed one more, then Lan, and another girl with us received one as well.
Tonight was another big dinner party, chance to dance, pressured to drink, questions about our future, and so much catering to us. It's been an amazing experience. Lan and I still can't believe how hospitable everyone is. Now we're tired. We head back to Budapest tomorrow.
Thanks for reading. Sorry it's so long. Too much fun to try to sum up.
The fifteenth annual Hungarian Pharmacy Congressional conference started on Thursday. And we were driven in from Budapest just in time. We were greeted by and have been since hosted by a young pharmacist named Peter. He knows English incredibly well and has gone to great lengths to show us a good time. It started with him driving us around in his bombin' BMW that actually showed TV shows on the screen when it can pick up a signal. We took a ferry across Lake Balaton (the second largest lake in Europe) to a church way up on a hill (pictures to come later). Peter took us to two different places to make sure we had some adequate desserts, which Lan and I had no problem with. Later Thursday night, we met back at the conference center to greet Dr. L.B. Brown, one of our professors who has a long-standing relationship with the pharmacy association as well as with the Hungarian minister of health. We went along with a few other invited guests to a boat tour for dinner. We met two other professors from Debrecen, another pharmacy school in the country. We all sat together during dinner and the live entertainment, which included an older gentleman singing rock music. So much fun.
Friday was our big day. We got up in time to take in the exhibition, which is a lot of vendors selling their wares to the pharmacists who visit...much like TPA or APhA on a little bit smaller scale. Then we had lunch at the VIP table in the dining room. And let me add that we haven't been allowed to pour our own drink, open our own door, or pay for anything since we've been here. The Hungarian men are amazing at chivalry. But be careful with your dispensation of smiles. Sidebar: on our drive to Siofok from Budapest, I met eyes with a gentleman beside us at a stoplight probably of 45 years of age, and you know the story-he smiled, I smiled back, and then much to my surprise, homie's hanging his business card out the window. I about died! lol. I turned away and made Lan confirm that it was actually happening. Stopped in traffic is evidently no obstacle to love.
Okay, so back to the boatride, if you can imagine having your professors, bosses, whoever, around you, asking you questions about your future plans, hobbies, interests, what have you. Picture this on top of them drilling me and Lan as to why we don't drink and already planning our demise. lol. Evidently we were quite a let-down in this area from the students of the past. lol. Hungarians don't play when it comes to drinking. They all do...and they do it well. We still get it offered every meal, every day, never fails.
Ok, back to Friday...we are following a pharmacist from Germany and preceeding L. B., which is extremely intimidating. We remembered to speak slowly so that the interpreter could catch what we were saying. I think it went well. Everyone was very complimentary, no big bobbles or flops. I felt great about it.
Then we decided to walk back to our hotel instead of getting a driver. We needed exercise and there hadn't been that many turns. After getting directions and promising Peter we wouldn't, we got lost. We walked around for an hour and a half before giving up, returning to the conference, and then getting a ride back to our hotel. Hilarious.
Friday night was the BEST!!! After dinner, there was entertainment of an old rocker and a group of dancers. We walked in late, took our VIP seats, and enjoyed the show. At one point, the man stuck the mic in my face to sing, only to realize I didn't speak the language. Then he made fun of me the rest of the show. Typical. After that show, we went upstairs to enjoy the singing of Hungary's Megastar winner, much like our American Idol. She was awesome. She even sang some Aretha. THEN the fun really started. Hungarians love to dance...so we did. L.B. didn't hesitate, and I didn't either. Lan, however, refused to join us on the floor. We danced up a sweat until the karaoke started. L.B. kicked it off with some Elvis. SOOOOO much fun. Then I went to check out his English collection, and sure enough, there it was...my FUGEES. So without hesitation, the dj let me go next and I sang Killing Me Softly with all my heart and with about 10 people singing behind me. L. B. was impressed with my ghetto-ness and of course, asked where I grew up. lol. Typical. Lan and I left around 12-something and got ragged by all of our elders who ended up closing the place around 3:30. These people are fun.
Today we did the tourist-y trek to a fortress and watched a medieval re-enactment with horses, swords, and colorful flags. The men would compete and win a flower, and I had no idea what they were doing with it when a guy on a horse dipped down and handed it to me. I was extremely embarassed. I was handed one more, then Lan, and another girl with us received one as well.
Tonight was another big dinner party, chance to dance, pressured to drink, questions about our future, and so much catering to us. It's been an amazing experience. Lan and I still can't believe how hospitable everyone is. Now we're tired. We head back to Budapest tomorrow.
Thanks for reading. Sorry it's so long. Too much fun to try to sum up.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Budapest 2
Some notable cultural occurrences...
Some notable cultural occurrences...
- Everybody smokes. It's everywhere. It's crazy. Everybody's lighting up...except on the subway. Then I would have to die.
- Too much PDA...wayyyy outta control. I've seen enough people kissing each other for a lifetime. I don't mind that it happens. I just don't need to see it or have it happen inches from me.
- You have to pay for ketchup at Burger King.
- Americans are truly ethnocentric and uneducated.
My point with the last statement is that the pharmacy students must master two foreign languages before they graduate. At almost every place we've been, the people that work there can speak English or at least the words that are relevant to their trade, and the signs are usually translated at the bottom. We don't work to learn even one other language...partly because we haven't had to. Secondly, because we haven't tried or seen the need.
My last exciting news: we're headed to Palanga, Lithuania next weekend to visit Casey! I'm so pumped. I can't wait to see LCC. Our friends at the pharmacy association/travel agency are going to help us plan travel. SOOOOOO excited.
And one more thing, we found out about two days before we left that we were expected to make a presentation about pharmacy in the US. I just figured it was something we could get together once we arrived. We found out later that we will be speaking at a national pharmacy meeting in front of 50 people. Today we are told by another university official that it will probably be more like 400 people. Nice. We've been slaving away at a powerpoint presentation, and we plan to give it on Friday. We're on the program! Also on the program is one of our professors from UT, Dr. L.B. Brown. It'll be neat to see him here. Plus, he's a great speaker and incredibly professional. We leave for that meeting tomorrow and will return on Sunday. Please pray for us to speak slowly enough for the interpreter to translate efficiently.
I've loved the comments. Please drop one if you have time. It's hard not getting to talk real-time with anyone. I miss yáll!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Budapest 1
Lan and I spent all of yesterday walking around town and found a mall that blew our minds. The place was beastly. I immediately thought of Leela and Donna, my girls in pharmacy school, and Jada and Payten, and how much they would all love the place. And the prices are reasonable. We asked around for the internet for days before someone actually pointed us to the place.
The language is impossible. I've never heard anything like it. It's not Latin-based, so good luck on trying to draw similarities.
Our preceptor's great. Antal Samu works for the private pharmacist association as well as a travel agency. It's really cool how nice and accomodating these people have been to us.
Our hotel's nice. There's not many specific differences I can think of to note right now. The outlets, of course, but I came equipped with an adapter and a converter. We used the metro for the first time yesterday and were suprised to find that it wasn't free. It's not like the US where there's an actual barrier to get on it. Needless to say, we laughed when we realized we had been ignorantly cheating the system.
And if you want water here, you have to ask for water with "no gas". All of it's sparkling. It's something to help digestion or something.
We'll be traveling to different parts of Hungary, and I'm excited to see more of the actual historic culture. Budapest seems like such a hodgepodge. We see all types and all nationalities everywhere. It's very cool, though.
And don't worry about jet lag. I stayed up once I got here, and then slept 12 hours last night. lol. It's 3:22 p.m. here now. I think we're 7 hours ahead.
I miss you all!
Lan and I spent all of yesterday walking around town and found a mall that blew our minds. The place was beastly. I immediately thought of Leela and Donna, my girls in pharmacy school, and Jada and Payten, and how much they would all love the place. And the prices are reasonable. We asked around for the internet for days before someone actually pointed us to the place.
The language is impossible. I've never heard anything like it. It's not Latin-based, so good luck on trying to draw similarities.
Our preceptor's great. Antal Samu works for the private pharmacist association as well as a travel agency. It's really cool how nice and accomodating these people have been to us.
Our hotel's nice. There's not many specific differences I can think of to note right now. The outlets, of course, but I came equipped with an adapter and a converter. We used the metro for the first time yesterday and were suprised to find that it wasn't free. It's not like the US where there's an actual barrier to get on it. Needless to say, we laughed when we realized we had been ignorantly cheating the system.
And if you want water here, you have to ask for water with "no gas". All of it's sparkling. It's something to help digestion or something.
We'll be traveling to different parts of Hungary, and I'm excited to see more of the actual historic culture. Budapest seems like such a hodgepodge. We see all types and all nationalities everywhere. It's very cool, though.
And don't worry about jet lag. I stayed up once I got here, and then slept 12 hours last night. lol. It's 3:22 p.m. here now. I think we're 7 hours ahead.
I miss you all!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Just kidding...
Bet you thought I was flying to Hungary today. Well, I did too. However, Northwest airlines had other plans for me.
I showed up at the airport by 3:00, stressed and unsure if I would make it in time. I got up to the counter, and one of my bags was 7 lbs. over the limit. So I moved some stuff over to the other bag, and then they were under the limit. Now the other bag was beastly, and I was having a hard time getting it up on the scale again. Seeing no one ready to help, I just gave one big heave-ho and dropped that bad boy in the scale. I heard a ding and then saw the number read "0.0" ! I broke the scale! I didn't get in trouble. No one even noticed until they started throwing other people's bags up there.
Made it through security and check-in in about 20 minutes. When I got to the terminal, they were telling us that the flight hadn't left memphis yet and would be delayed secondary mechanical problems. Yeah, so we finally left Nashville at 6:22 p.m. and arrived at Memphis at 7:15. My Amsterdam flight was supposed to leave at 7:25 p.m.
So as I'm running down the terminals, a lady tells me it's no use, they already shut the door.
After a long afternoon of anger and typical Lauren-Webb-angry sarcasm on the phone with NW employees and whoever else will listen.
Moral of story: Airlines are inefficient. They're all broke, and the junky part is, you don't have an option. Flying is a necessity. They're one of the few occupations that has no accountability or quality control. What do you think would happen if I just gave people the wrong pills? Righttttt.
Tonight I'm staying with fun and close friends Donna and Leela in Memphis. I'm glad. They're fun pharmacy girls, and they always make me feel good. We're trying this whole thing again tomorrow. I forewent the hotel option and got some food vouchers instead.
So I'll let you know if I ever make it over there. And I promise to try to keep these shorter in the future.
Bet you thought I was flying to Hungary today. Well, I did too. However, Northwest airlines had other plans for me.
I showed up at the airport by 3:00, stressed and unsure if I would make it in time. I got up to the counter, and one of my bags was 7 lbs. over the limit. So I moved some stuff over to the other bag, and then they were under the limit. Now the other bag was beastly, and I was having a hard time getting it up on the scale again. Seeing no one ready to help, I just gave one big heave-ho and dropped that bad boy in the scale. I heard a ding and then saw the number read "0.0" ! I broke the scale! I didn't get in trouble. No one even noticed until they started throwing other people's bags up there.
Made it through security and check-in in about 20 minutes. When I got to the terminal, they were telling us that the flight hadn't left memphis yet and would be delayed secondary mechanical problems. Yeah, so we finally left Nashville at 6:22 p.m. and arrived at Memphis at 7:15. My Amsterdam flight was supposed to leave at 7:25 p.m.
So as I'm running down the terminals, a lady tells me it's no use, they already shut the door.
After a long afternoon of anger and typical Lauren-Webb-angry sarcasm on the phone with NW employees and whoever else will listen.
Moral of story: Airlines are inefficient. They're all broke, and the junky part is, you don't have an option. Flying is a necessity. They're one of the few occupations that has no accountability or quality control. What do you think would happen if I just gave people the wrong pills? Righttttt.
Tonight I'm staying with fun and close friends Donna and Leela in Memphis. I'm glad. They're fun pharmacy girls, and they always make me feel good. We're trying this whole thing again tomorrow. I forewent the hotel option and got some food vouchers instead.
So I'll let you know if I ever make it over there. And I promise to try to keep these shorter in the future.
Ok, people, this is it...
I just finished putting my face on, Payten's on her way, and I'm bout to turn on my computer for the month.
I'm so excited. I can't wait for the adventures that lie ahead of me. Please keep me in your prayers and pray specifically that God will reveal Himself in new ways and give me a fresh passion for Him while I'm in a new place.
Current request: Lan's flight to Newark from Knoxville is an hour behind...which means she may miss her flight to London and the one to Budapest. Please pray that something works out in order for her to get to Budapest on Saturday, the scheduled arrival. We're not freaking out, but the only other flights out of Newark leave on Sunday. I want her to be there with me for the sightseeing on Sunday. Thank you for praying. I know God will work it all out.
I wish I could see everyone before I leave, but know that I love you and I'll miss you!
I just finished putting my face on, Payten's on her way, and I'm bout to turn on my computer for the month.
I'm so excited. I can't wait for the adventures that lie ahead of me. Please keep me in your prayers and pray specifically that God will reveal Himself in new ways and give me a fresh passion for Him while I'm in a new place.
Current request: Lan's flight to Newark from Knoxville is an hour behind...which means she may miss her flight to London and the one to Budapest. Please pray that something works out in order for her to get to Budapest on Saturday, the scheduled arrival. We're not freaking out, but the only other flights out of Newark leave on Sunday. I want her to be there with me for the sightseeing on Sunday. Thank you for praying. I know God will work it all out.
I wish I could see everyone before I leave, but know that I love you and I'll miss you!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Anticipation
I've sat around tonight thinking about tomorrow and the fact that I'm leaving for Europe. And that's crazy to me. I'm excited but kinda sad about not being around my family or friends for a month...even though I hope to get to see Casey, one of my best friends who lives in Lithuania during the school year. That will be a blessing.
Lan, the student I'm traveling with, is a really nice girl, and I expect that we'll have fun together.
I have no idea exactly where I'll be during the month or what I'll be doing, and that's kinda fun.
I love all my family and friends. May God continue to bless you and keep you while I'm away.
Some verses to live on: Matt. 6:33, Phil. 4:19, Zeph. 3:17.
By special request: Natty-tat, whatup, playa fly? Here's to you, girl!
I've sat around tonight thinking about tomorrow and the fact that I'm leaving for Europe. And that's crazy to me. I'm excited but kinda sad about not being around my family or friends for a month...even though I hope to get to see Casey, one of my best friends who lives in Lithuania during the school year. That will be a blessing.
Lan, the student I'm traveling with, is a really nice girl, and I expect that we'll have fun together.
I have no idea exactly where I'll be during the month or what I'll be doing, and that's kinda fun.
I love all my family and friends. May God continue to bless you and keep you while I'm away.
Some verses to live on: Matt. 6:33, Phil. 4:19, Zeph. 3:17.
By special request: Natty-tat, whatup, playa fly? Here's to you, girl!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I cried today...
more than I have as far back as I can remember. There was something strangely freeing about the release that came with weeping. There have been some things happen lately that concerned me about the health of my Nanny. I am not okay with the concept of ever losing her. So when my dad told me an update today, I lost it...in the middle of the Civic Center...during Heritage Day in my hometown. I finally made it outside to hug Daron, my sis, goodbye. I was sad I didn't get to see her more before I leave for Hungary. She had soccer practice. Poor thing, she caught me at the wrong time because once we embraced, I couldn't let her go. lol. I just sat there...crying on her. Daron, having one of the most tender hearts of anyone I know, cried with me, of course. Now everyone in the fam was sufficiently upset because I couldn't hold it together.
It gets better...
I proceed to Nanny's house to visit her, crying all the way. I tried to get it together long enough to make it through the door, but once I hit her bedroom, the tears returned. Then, of course, SHE cried. I'm like a disease. But it was the sweetest visit. We talked about life, death, pain, Heaven. She's a strong Christian, and she looks forward to the day she gets to be with her Savior. I was so comforted to hear that she (and she may be the only one of my family) is okay with all the traveling that I do and that I will do as a missionary in the future. She said, "Lauren, I'm already prayed up about that." lol. I love it.
We went through old memories: of her life and of mine. She talked lovingly about the early days of her and Granddaddy's relationship. lol. They wrote letters to each other, passed through Grandaddy's sister, because they didn't go to school together. Precious.
I then walked down to Granddaddy's shop to talk to him. That talk was just as sweet. We shared tears and memories as well. The whole afternoon was so rich, so valuable, so priceless. I just wanted to breathe it in and hold it inside...forever. It was like a moment you know will be a memory so you try to somehow capture it. You don't want to miss a single part when you're running back over it in your head.
I tried to see it from each of their perspectives: Nanny's more worried about Granddaddy, the kids, and the grandkids than herself. She's prepared for whatever news the doctors might bring. Granddaddy's concerned and supportive and wants us all to be involved. But everyone is mindful that God is sovereign, that He will provide for our needs, and that He will be our Rock whatever winds may come. There's just nothing else worth clinging to in times of trial. Sometimes sadness is sweeter than joy just because you get to be held more tightly by His Hand, you get to be healed deeper, you submit so much more willingly because you have no will to fight. I may not be okay with the inevitables of life, but just knowing the heart of the One Who holds it (Col. 1:17, Ps. 139:16) sustains me.
more than I have as far back as I can remember. There was something strangely freeing about the release that came with weeping. There have been some things happen lately that concerned me about the health of my Nanny. I am not okay with the concept of ever losing her. So when my dad told me an update today, I lost it...in the middle of the Civic Center...during Heritage Day in my hometown. I finally made it outside to hug Daron, my sis, goodbye. I was sad I didn't get to see her more before I leave for Hungary. She had soccer practice. Poor thing, she caught me at the wrong time because once we embraced, I couldn't let her go. lol. I just sat there...crying on her. Daron, having one of the most tender hearts of anyone I know, cried with me, of course. Now everyone in the fam was sufficiently upset because I couldn't hold it together.
It gets better...
I proceed to Nanny's house to visit her, crying all the way. I tried to get it together long enough to make it through the door, but once I hit her bedroom, the tears returned. Then, of course, SHE cried. I'm like a disease. But it was the sweetest visit. We talked about life, death, pain, Heaven. She's a strong Christian, and she looks forward to the day she gets to be with her Savior. I was so comforted to hear that she (and she may be the only one of my family) is okay with all the traveling that I do and that I will do as a missionary in the future. She said, "Lauren, I'm already prayed up about that." lol. I love it.
We went through old memories: of her life and of mine. She talked lovingly about the early days of her and Granddaddy's relationship. lol. They wrote letters to each other, passed through Grandaddy's sister, because they didn't go to school together. Precious.
I then walked down to Granddaddy's shop to talk to him. That talk was just as sweet. We shared tears and memories as well. The whole afternoon was so rich, so valuable, so priceless. I just wanted to breathe it in and hold it inside...forever. It was like a moment you know will be a memory so you try to somehow capture it. You don't want to miss a single part when you're running back over it in your head.
I tried to see it from each of their perspectives: Nanny's more worried about Granddaddy, the kids, and the grandkids than herself. She's prepared for whatever news the doctors might bring. Granddaddy's concerned and supportive and wants us all to be involved. But everyone is mindful that God is sovereign, that He will provide for our needs, and that He will be our Rock whatever winds may come. There's just nothing else worth clinging to in times of trial. Sometimes sadness is sweeter than joy just because you get to be held more tightly by His Hand, you get to be healed deeper, you submit so much more willingly because you have no will to fight. I may not be okay with the inevitables of life, but just knowing the heart of the One Who holds it (Col. 1:17, Ps. 139:16) sustains me.
Friday, September 22, 2006
7 Days and Counting...
I leave a week from today to head to Hungary. I'm super-excited and a little nervous about forgetting stuff, getting lost, not knowing what's going on, etc. I know it'll be a great experience regardless of what adventures may lie before me.
Here's what I need: travel tips! Give me all you got. Leave me a comment with any words of wisdom you may have to offer about traveling...especially if it involves traveling in Europe.
Get ready...on your mark...get set...GO!
I leave a week from today to head to Hungary. I'm super-excited and a little nervous about forgetting stuff, getting lost, not knowing what's going on, etc. I know it'll be a great experience regardless of what adventures may lie before me.
Here's what I need: travel tips! Give me all you got. Leave me a comment with any words of wisdom you may have to offer about traveling...especially if it involves traveling in Europe.
Get ready...on your mark...get set...GO!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Walking in Memphis...
A trip to Memphis is always a refreshment to me. It's such a comfortable and familiar place. I don't miss the driving or the constant awareness that keeps you from leaving anything valuable in sight from the outside of your car, but overall, it's a place dear to my heart.
Friday I was able to distract a couple of my girlfriends from their therapeutics studying to go to dinner. LOVE some Central BBQ. Nothing like the half order of chicken nachos. It just might change your life. Donna and Leela are GREAT company, whether in Nashville or Memphis. We enjoy talking about life as a single pharmacy girl trying to have some fun along the way. I think the pinnacle of the night was when Leela made the comment, "What's up with these guys of high calibur intelligence dating MORONS?" That definitely got the full dose of the Lauren-Webb-guffaw. Priceless. Are guys scared of smart girls? Who knows? Our point was that we don't have a problem serving or supporting or anything as long as there's some insurance of self-preservation. Our fear is not submission; it's lack of appreciation. lol. Definitely something I've been praying about for a while now.
Saturday I got to eat lunch with some of my old Fusion group. My once-freshman girls are growing up on me. We chatted about boys, eyeshadow, and their lives post-GBC meltdown. I miss those girls.
Later that afternoon, I met some of my old favorite people at MPC (or Memphis Pizza Cafe for those of you NOT familiar with the best place to eat in Shelby County) in Germantown, then went to Zach's to watch the vols hand the game over to Florida. Ugh.
I stayed with Matt and Meg on Sat. night. I loved their house. Very cute. Meg and I stayed up and chatted for a while. It's so neat how deeply God uses her to encourage me. All she has to do is share with me what she sees as God's potential in my life, and I'll believe it. That's the type of friends that I have there. When I can't lay hold of hope of God's plan for me, my friends are carrying it for me.
My life seems like such an adventure right now...and it is. And I feel excited about it most of the time. It's just those fleeting instances where I see my friends happy and settled around me, and I wonder if I'm missing something. I think for a second that I would be willing to give up my adventure to join in someone else's. Then God's faithfulness shines through, reminding me that the coolest part is that someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 5 years, His adventure for me will be to join in someone else's. And then I'm excited to live mine in the meantime to the fullest.
A trip to Memphis is always a refreshment to me. It's such a comfortable and familiar place. I don't miss the driving or the constant awareness that keeps you from leaving anything valuable in sight from the outside of your car, but overall, it's a place dear to my heart.
Friday I was able to distract a couple of my girlfriends from their therapeutics studying to go to dinner. LOVE some Central BBQ. Nothing like the half order of chicken nachos. It just might change your life. Donna and Leela are GREAT company, whether in Nashville or Memphis. We enjoy talking about life as a single pharmacy girl trying to have some fun along the way. I think the pinnacle of the night was when Leela made the comment, "What's up with these guys of high calibur intelligence dating MORONS?" That definitely got the full dose of the Lauren-Webb-guffaw. Priceless. Are guys scared of smart girls? Who knows? Our point was that we don't have a problem serving or supporting or anything as long as there's some insurance of self-preservation. Our fear is not submission; it's lack of appreciation. lol. Definitely something I've been praying about for a while now.
Saturday I got to eat lunch with some of my old Fusion group. My once-freshman girls are growing up on me. We chatted about boys, eyeshadow, and their lives post-GBC meltdown. I miss those girls.
Later that afternoon, I met some of my old favorite people at MPC (or Memphis Pizza Cafe for those of you NOT familiar with the best place to eat in Shelby County) in Germantown, then went to Zach's to watch the vols hand the game over to Florida. Ugh.
I stayed with Matt and Meg on Sat. night. I loved their house. Very cute. Meg and I stayed up and chatted for a while. It's so neat how deeply God uses her to encourage me. All she has to do is share with me what she sees as God's potential in my life, and I'll believe it. That's the type of friends that I have there. When I can't lay hold of hope of God's plan for me, my friends are carrying it for me.
My life seems like such an adventure right now...and it is. And I feel excited about it most of the time. It's just those fleeting instances where I see my friends happy and settled around me, and I wonder if I'm missing something. I think for a second that I would be willing to give up my adventure to join in someone else's. Then God's faithfulness shines through, reminding me that the coolest part is that someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 5 years, His adventure for me will be to join in someone else's. And then I'm excited to live mine in the meantime to the fullest.
Friday, September 15, 2006
From The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a' Kempis:
"When a man reaches a point where he seeks no solace from any creature, then he begins to relish God perfectly. Then also he will be content no matter what may happen to him. He will neither rejoice over great things nor grieve over small ones, but will place himself entirely and confidently in the hands of God, Who for him is all in all, to Whom nothing ever perishes or dies, for Whom all things live, and Whom they serve as He desires."
"When a man reaches a point where he seeks no solace from any creature, then he begins to relish God perfectly. Then also he will be content no matter what may happen to him. He will neither rejoice over great things nor grieve over small ones, but will place himself entirely and confidently in the hands of God, Who for him is all in all, to Whom nothing ever perishes or dies, for Whom all things live, and Whom they serve as He desires."
Thursday, September 14, 2006
This tops all...
or at least MOST of my recent stories. Mom texted me tonight. Yep, my mom learned to text from a girl at work. How crazy is that? Homegirl turns 50 and now she's taking over the world! So proud. So anyway, her text went something like:
"U got mail from a jailbird
Hot blonde Mama"
Definitely intrigued, she finally calls me to let me know that there was in fact a letter sitting on the kitchen table addressed to "Lauren Butler" from some guy named Kelsie up in some "correctional facility" in Louisiana. I know no one that fits this description, but I'm curious so I permit her to open the letter. Poor thing. The guy was hoping to contact some "Lauren Butler" that he was in the hospital with somewhere in Riverdale...wherever Riverdale is. He asked me to write back whether I was or was not her. So I am. He must have looked up the name in the phonebook because when I was in high school, we had our line at my mom's under Lauren, Jada, and Payten Butler. Poor guy.
or at least MOST of my recent stories. Mom texted me tonight. Yep, my mom learned to text from a girl at work. How crazy is that? Homegirl turns 50 and now she's taking over the world! So proud. So anyway, her text went something like:
"U got mail from a jailbird
Hot blonde Mama"
Definitely intrigued, she finally calls me to let me know that there was in fact a letter sitting on the kitchen table addressed to "Lauren Butler" from some guy named Kelsie up in some "correctional facility" in Louisiana. I know no one that fits this description, but I'm curious so I permit her to open the letter. Poor thing. The guy was hoping to contact some "Lauren Butler" that he was in the hospital with somewhere in Riverdale...wherever Riverdale is. He asked me to write back whether I was or was not her. So I am. He must have looked up the name in the phonebook because when I was in high school, we had our line at my mom's under Lauren, Jada, and Payten Butler. Poor guy.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Jesus, keep me near the cross,
There a precious fountain,
Free to all, a healing stream,
Flows from Calv'ry's mountain.
In the cross, in the cross
Be my glory ever,
Till my ransomed soul shall find
Rest beyond the river.
Near the cross! O Lamb of God,
Bring its scenes before me,
Help me walk from day to day
With its shadow o'er me.
In the cross, in the cross
Be my glory ever,
Till my ransomed soul shall find
Rest beyond the river.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
Dr. Cross's church, Christ Fellowship, was a whole different story...actually, no, it's the same as the others...I loved the people there! They were fun and crazy like me! AND they love Jesus! Double whammy. Can't beat that when it comes to friends to keep close. We ended up getting a girl's group to eat together on Monday nights. We always ended up hanging around to chat and cut up. The people there were so welcoming and encouraging.
The other lovely people we worked with include Kay, Barbara, and Candice up at the front. They were fun and kept us informed on the free food upstairs. Robyn is a nurse there that keeps everyone upbeat with her constant smile and jovial attitude. Michelle's super-nice and was always on the look-out for someone to hook me up with. lol.
Sorry...no stories to tell on that. Sylvia was a trip. I love this little lady. Every place of work needs one of her around to keep things on track. You better not have food or drink in your mouth when she launches into a story or you're choking...guaranteed. The picture here is of her "dog and the catheter" story. Don't ask...unless you really wanna know. 
Farewell, my dear Kingsport...
It was a great month. I loved the people: in the clinic, the patients, the community, the church-folk. And of course, Clara was a bombin' roommate. We fit really well. It was great to spend time with and cut up with ol' Ben Gross...I'm sorry,
Dr. Ben Gross. You may remember him as my big brother in ASP (the president before me). He's doing really well there, and the site is just phenomenal.Dr. Cross is great,
as always. Such a pioneer in the profession. This guy's the diabetes guru. With him, Dr. Wood, Dr. Foard, and Kim, you're bound to get your "sugar" under control...assuming you listen to them. lol. That definitely can't be assumed...patient compliance.The scenery's pretty up in East TN. I expected it to be. Weather's a little easier on you than Nashville or Memphis, but still hot.
So from this experience, I can say I LOVE ambulatory care. I was so at home talking to the patients, explaining to them why they're on what they're on and what they need to change to improve their health. You feel so alive when you're doing what you feel created to do. That's what I got in the clinic seeing patients.
Looking forward...I WILL be doing a residency. It WILL be far away...from home/Memphis/where I've been before. So who knows? I'll keep you posted. That's where I am right now in the process.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Justice is served
I know most of you will not be surprised...but I received a speeding ticket tonight from a state trooper in Putnam County (Cookeville) on my way to Nashville from Kingsport. I was rolling on, making good time, averaging about 85 when he got me. 85 in a 70. He was really nice, and I was surprisingly polite as well. However, that didn't keep him from slapping a big 159 dollar fine on there. It could have been worse. It could have been better. It did get better. The court date he gave me is the day I'll be flying to Hungary...righhhhhht. Guess which I'm picking? I think I just have to call a number and get it changed.
So all of you who were thinking "I told you so": we'll just pretend I can hear you. Thanks.
I know most of you will not be surprised...but I received a speeding ticket tonight from a state trooper in Putnam County (Cookeville) on my way to Nashville from Kingsport. I was rolling on, making good time, averaging about 85 when he got me. 85 in a 70. He was really nice, and I was surprisingly polite as well. However, that didn't keep him from slapping a big 159 dollar fine on there. It could have been worse. It could have been better. It did get better. The court date he gave me is the day I'll be flying to Hungary...righhhhhht. Guess which I'm picking? I think I just have to call a number and get it changed.
So all of you who were thinking "I told you so": we'll just pretend I can hear you. Thanks.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
This past Thursday and Friday I had the great opportunity to participate in health screenings at the Opryland Hotel. It was the National Conference for State Legislators, and a pharmacy alliance group was representing the profession by offering services such as cholesterol panels, blood pressure, bone density, body fat analysis, respiratory function testing, and heartburn awareness screenings. The first day I counseled patients on their results from their lipid (cholesterol) panel, explaining what the numbers meant and what they could do to change them if needed. I loved it! I got to interact with so many interesting people, and they were all really nice. It gave me a reminder as to why I'm in school and what I hope to be when I get out. I really felt my niche there, talking to them about their life and their health. All the while we wanted to make lawmakers aware of our capacity as primary care providers in some ways. Some states don't allow pharmacists to perform any of the collaborative practices such as these types of screenings or immunizations. Whether it be from lack of lobbying from their pharmacist political action groups or opposition from the medical advocacy groups, something needs to change. They are valuable services, and pharmacists are the most accessible health care professional. We should be allowed to be as functional as we're equipped to be. Obviously, I'm biased...
Then yesterday we moved Payten into her new dormroom at Belmont. Her roommate's really sweet, and neither of them are music majors, so it should work out great. One of Payten's biggest concerns was that everyone there was music-oriented, and about 85 % of the kids are...but not all. The campus is beautiful. They just keep improving it. I'm excited for her.
Today I'm headed back to Kingsport...it's gonna be a crazy week. We leave for Memphis on Wednesday for the residency showcase on Thursday...then maybe Huntingdon on Friday...then a wedding in Nashville on Saturday...ugh. Someone slow me down. Oh wait, then my presentation on Monday and rotation test next Tuesday...great! Somebody give me September already!
Then yesterday we moved Payten into her new dormroom at Belmont. Her roommate's really sweet, and neither of them are music majors, so it should work out great. One of Payten's biggest concerns was that everyone there was music-oriented, and about 85 % of the kids are...but not all. The campus is beautiful. They just keep improving it. I'm excited for her.
Today I'm headed back to Kingsport...it's gonna be a crazy week. We leave for Memphis on Wednesday for the residency showcase on Thursday...then maybe Huntingdon on Friday...then a wedding in Nashville on Saturday...ugh. Someone slow me down. Oh wait, then my presentation on Monday and rotation test next Tuesday...great! Somebody give me September already!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Kingsport
It's been great up here. Clara is a great roommate, one of the best I could have had. The experience at the site has been amazing due to a few things...
It's been great up here. Clara is a great roommate, one of the best I could have had. The experience at the site has been amazing due to a few things...
- Ben Gross, my "big brother" from ASP (the president before me), is doing his residency here. So I've gotten to see patients with him and learn from him and with him.
- Dr. Cross is one of the best and most progressive pharmacists I've ever met. It's been such a blessing to see his practice and learn from it.
- The people in the Disease State Management clinic are great! The women at the front, the MD, the other pharmacist, the PA, the nurses, and all the staff here have been so nice and generous to us.
- East TN is not too bad. The scenery is pretty. I wonder if I'm in a time warp every once in a while, but the people are super-nice for the most part.
- What they do here in Disease State Mgmt is phenomenal. They truly improve people's quality of life. They take time to listen, and they CARE about their patients and what will make their lives easier.
Most of our lives this month has been consumed by the rotation, I'll be honest. But I haven't minded...at all. That's really not like me, either. I'm just trying to see what I enjoy the most and trying to equip myself with the clinical skills I need to do what these people do every day: help people.
One more thing:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REEMS!!!!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Almost there...
at the quarter-life crisis. Oh, it's real. I've talked to friends going through it. And since my recent conversion to a 24-year-old, I've tasted a bit of it. Turning 24 honestly made me feel a little old and caused me to quickly assess my life so far: what I've accomplished, what I have of worth, and what I'm without. Then it made me assess what others may or may not perceive about me.
People consider me an adult. That's crazy.
What qualifies a person as "grown-up"? Is there an efficiency exam or some type of baseline values to be reached? I'm not sure how well I'd do on that.
Just a few years ago, I was still staying up all night, cutting up with college roommates when I should have been studying for finals. The questions I ask about life and love haven't changed that much since that time. Have I become a more keen observer or am I just looking at different things now?
My friends now have real jobs. They pay mortgages. Some have kids. Some are being given the opportunity to teach children in school. These are all huge responsibilities. When do you know you can handle it? When you're there? in the midst of it?
I'm gonna chalk my perceived childishness up to being adventurous and carry it proudly. I'll always be a learner, so my mind won't often rest. The point of stability beneath it all is that I know WHO holds it all. And in Him, all things hold together (Col. 1:17). I don't have to be or have accomplished "something" in the eyes of men (or in my own!) to have worth. He's done more than validate me. He's loved me as I am. The more I can lay hold of that, the less time I'll spend on futile questions.
at the quarter-life crisis. Oh, it's real. I've talked to friends going through it. And since my recent conversion to a 24-year-old, I've tasted a bit of it. Turning 24 honestly made me feel a little old and caused me to quickly assess my life so far: what I've accomplished, what I have of worth, and what I'm without. Then it made me assess what others may or may not perceive about me.
People consider me an adult. That's crazy.
What qualifies a person as "grown-up"? Is there an efficiency exam or some type of baseline values to be reached? I'm not sure how well I'd do on that.
Just a few years ago, I was still staying up all night, cutting up with college roommates when I should have been studying for finals. The questions I ask about life and love haven't changed that much since that time. Have I become a more keen observer or am I just looking at different things now?
My friends now have real jobs. They pay mortgages. Some have kids. Some are being given the opportunity to teach children in school. These are all huge responsibilities. When do you know you can handle it? When you're there? in the midst of it?
I'm gonna chalk my perceived childishness up to being adventurous and carry it proudly. I'll always be a learner, so my mind won't often rest. The point of stability beneath it all is that I know WHO holds it all. And in Him, all things hold together (Col. 1:17). I don't have to be or have accomplished "something" in the eyes of men (or in my own!) to have worth. He's done more than validate me. He's loved me as I am. The more I can lay hold of that, the less time I'll spend on futile questions.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
A Good birthday...
Last Thursday consisted of several phone calls, a bunch of text messages, about 10 Myspace comments, and about 25 Facebook wall postings wishing me a happy birthday. I intended to thank each well-wisher individually, but I didn't know when I was going to have time to hunt down each message-leaver. So if you left one, and you're reading this--Thank you so much!
I went out with some friends in Nashville to eat sushi, which I hadn't had since I left Memphis and was missing greatly. Then we went to see Andy Davis play at 12th and Porter. That kid's the bomb. Check out his music if you haven't. He's money. Very soulful, pop-ish, but rich tunes. We also saw Sam and Ruby; these kids are phenomenal...voices like I've never heard.
This weekend I went home to see my fam, and it was great! I missed them so much. I'm still really sad because I'm not getting to take the annual trip with mom and them to Destin for a week. Instead I'm trekking up to Kingsport, TN to do a rotation up there. I think this rotation will be one of the best ones all year, I'm just a little nervous about Kingsport. Not gonna know anybody. Not gonna have much to do outside of my rotation...little nervous. I know it'll work out. I'm with a cool girl from my class, so I won't be alone. Plus my big bro from ASP, Ben Gross, is actually doing his residency up there. PLUS, my preceptor's one of my favorite professors, so there are positives.
I just wanted to make sure you all knew that I still got it. I was watching about 12 kids play in my dad's pool after VBS on Saturday, and there were these fearless little boys, two brothers, who were flippin' away on the diving board. Curiousity got the best of me as to whether or not the new 24-year-old could still pull a back tuck off the diving board. So, after retrieving my suit, I headed straight for the board without yet getting wet. When I finally made it to the end of the board and after I almost lost my balance. I threw that sucker... And I made it...all the way around in the rotation before I hit the water. I was so proud. I'm old and out of shape, but dangit, I can still throw a tuck jumping off the diving board. What up now, playa?
See? And I'm still a big goof-ball...don't see me growing out of that one anytime soon.
Last Thursday consisted of several phone calls, a bunch of text messages, about 10 Myspace comments, and about 25 Facebook wall postings wishing me a happy birthday. I intended to thank each well-wisher individually, but I didn't know when I was going to have time to hunt down each message-leaver. So if you left one, and you're reading this--Thank you so much!
I went out with some friends in Nashville to eat sushi, which I hadn't had since I left Memphis and was missing greatly. Then we went to see Andy Davis play at 12th and Porter. That kid's the bomb. Check out his music if you haven't. He's money. Very soulful, pop-ish, but rich tunes. We also saw Sam and Ruby; these kids are phenomenal...voices like I've never heard.
This weekend I went home to see my fam, and it was great! I missed them so much. I'm still really sad because I'm not getting to take the annual trip with mom and them to Destin for a week. Instead I'm trekking up to Kingsport, TN to do a rotation up there. I think this rotation will be one of the best ones all year, I'm just a little nervous about Kingsport. Not gonna know anybody. Not gonna have much to do outside of my rotation...little nervous. I know it'll work out. I'm with a cool girl from my class, so I won't be alone. Plus my big bro from ASP, Ben Gross, is actually doing his residency up there. PLUS, my preceptor's one of my favorite professors, so there are positives.
I just wanted to make sure you all knew that I still got it. I was watching about 12 kids play in my dad's pool after VBS on Saturday, and there were these fearless little boys, two brothers, who were flippin' away on the diving board. Curiousity got the best of me as to whether or not the new 24-year-old could still pull a back tuck off the diving board. So, after retrieving my suit, I headed straight for the board without yet getting wet. When I finally made it to the end of the board and after I almost lost my balance. I threw that sucker... And I made it...all the way around in the rotation before I hit the water. I was so proud. I'm old and out of shape, but dangit, I can still throw a tuck jumping off the diving board. What up now, playa?
See? And I'm still a big goof-ball...don't see me growing out of that one anytime soon.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
For the LORD is our judge,
the LORD is our lawgiver,
the LORD is our king;
it is He who will save us.
-Isaiah 33:22, NIV
The chasm between a kindergarten level of education and that of a rocket scientist doesn't come close to adequately representing the difference between my concept of justice and God's. That's becoming increasingly apparent in my life over this past week. No, I take that back, let's go on and roll it back to when the drama came to a head at GBC. I'm stubborn, passionate, and strong-willed, so I always want to help, fix, and reconcile things. But I'm usually too emotional to do that well or tactfully.
When I am made aware of someone suffering "unjustly" around me, I am first and intensely mad. I want to wrong the person that I feel has wronged them. I want to stomp whatever is causing their pain. Then when the realization hits that I can do nothing about it, I get depressed. I get sad, feel helpless, and wonder if anything is worth trying for. All the time, I've completely shanked everything that God promises He is. He is just. He is loving. He is in control. All good things come from Him. All things work for the good of those who love Him. He has a plan, for good not for harm. We are waging a spiritual war, not against things we can see.
None of these truths are in my cognition in the midst of the storm. It takes me tiring out, giving up, running ragged and realizing I haven't made any distance to get low enough to truly hear Him whisper these to my heart. Why don't I listen earlier?
There's a song on Jill Phillips' latest album called By a Thread where she talks about believing all these things but she can't get them down to her heart from her head. It seems like my life story. I want to be prepped and ready for trial, because I know God takes all those He loves through it in order to make them more like Him. I'm failing the small stuff. My biggest fear is that this unbelief will cut short His best being accomplished in my life. I want the whole package, but I'm not willing to accept my role in it...which is HE's God, He's in control, He loves me, and He knows the end. I don't have or know any of these things. But He's promised to hold me, love me, walk with me, never leave me, and bring me home. Now why can't I sit still?
Sunday, July 09, 2006
How do you assure self-authenticity? People change. Desires change. Hopefully, maturity changes. I just get a gut-check every time I stop to wonder why I have so much fun trying out new eyeshadow colors and application techniques. I've decided that shopping can be a hobby, much like a sport or skill. You can be good at it or bad at it, but I think it's fun. Now, more than anytime of my life, I love being a girl. Is that superficial? Is that silly? Maybe. 5 years ago, I shunned all of these things. They weren't "spiritual" enough. But is being "spiritual" what we're here for? Is there a place for these? Can we use them to reach the lost? Is it a bridge to others with which we can relate? Or is it deceit? Does it give the Devil a foothold? Is it the manifestation of vanity and materialism?
Is this the "little stuff"? Or does it represent deeper issues?
Father, grant me a simple and pure heart to follow after You. Purge anything that hinders my focus, love, and devotion toward you. Let me take an active role in my journey closer to You. Heighten my sensitivity to conviction, and still my anxious thoughts. Make me willing to say what Paul does in Phil. 3 about counting it all rubbish in comparison to knowing You. I believe You're more than worthy.
Is this the "little stuff"? Or does it represent deeper issues?
Father, grant me a simple and pure heart to follow after You. Purge anything that hinders my focus, love, and devotion toward you. Let me take an active role in my journey closer to You. Heighten my sensitivity to conviction, and still my anxious thoughts. Make me willing to say what Paul does in Phil. 3 about counting it all rubbish in comparison to knowing You. I believe You're more than worthy.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
New Music
That everyone needs to check out...JJ Heller, Matthew Perryman-Jones, and Andrew Osenga. I just saw each of them play a set tonight. Then I got to meet JJ, her husband, and Andrew Osenga. They were great...all of them. MPJ kinda reminds me of my buddy Joe G. JJ's voice is
super-unique and even more pure live. Crazy. So add 'em as a buddy if you're on Myspace or buy their tunes off of itunes. However you decide, they're good peeps to have around. 
Friday, June 30, 2006
Star Sighting #2...And #3!
I was released from the last day of my first rotation early and decided to treat myself to a bad lunch from McAlister's. Woo, the thought of that broc/cheese soup still gives me chills...so bad. I don't know how Memphis always got that right, but beware the McAlister's in Brentwood. As I drive by Chik-fil-a, I look, I look again, and yep, I'm pretty sure I saw Matt Wertz sitting there in deep convo with his bud. I bout flipped. Had I not been completely tired, worn out, and discouraged, I might have busted out the usual Lauren-lack-of-shyness-always-ready-to-make-a-new-connection and chatted it up. Oh well, maybe next time.
My next chance came when I stopped by Blockbuster tonight after work. I go there once a week, usually on a Friday night, and relax and watch a movie. It's fun for me, don't hate. So I walk in, glance at this guy, look twice, second guess myself, try to get another look without seeming wierd, then ask him with a quizzical look, "Are you Ben Shive?" He is! He goes to church with Suzanne and Jamie at Grace AND we both know the Gullahorns. Crazy. So there ya go. All these great people I've enjoyed hearing the gifts of for years now will hopefully become at least acquaintances for me. I'll keep ya posted.
I was released from the last day of my first rotation early and decided to treat myself to a bad lunch from McAlister's. Woo, the thought of that broc/cheese soup still gives me chills...so bad. I don't know how Memphis always got that right, but beware the McAlister's in Brentwood. As I drive by Chik-fil-a, I look, I look again, and yep, I'm pretty sure I saw Matt Wertz sitting there in deep convo with his bud. I bout flipped. Had I not been completely tired, worn out, and discouraged, I might have busted out the usual Lauren-lack-of-shyness-always-ready-to-make-a-new-connection and chatted it up. Oh well, maybe next time.
My next chance came when I stopped by Blockbuster tonight after work. I go there once a week, usually on a Friday night, and relax and watch a movie. It's fun for me, don't hate. So I walk in, glance at this guy, look twice, second guess myself, try to get another look without seeming wierd, then ask him with a quizzical look, "Are you Ben Shive?" He is! He goes to church with Suzanne and Jamie at Grace AND we both know the Gullahorns. Crazy. So there ya go. All these great people I've enjoyed hearing the gifts of for years now will hopefully become at least acquaintances for me. I'll keep ya posted.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Purpose of the Process
Most of you who know me are aware that I agree with the Westminster Catechism that "the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." Please understand (those of you who know me know THIS as well) that I DON'T succeed at living this out much of the time. The coolest part is, my success or failure doesn't determine my ability to glorify God...or my worth, for that matter. Both of those things were secured when Christ's death and resurrection bought my redemption.
Ok, so I didn't mean to launch into doctrine, I just rarely am able to get around it. lol. What I REALLY wanted to blog about was an opportunity available to anyone to help someone in need. One of the ways we grow, learn, and understand purpose is to better ourselves by doing or giving something for a neighbor.
A small, meager way that I have immensely enjoyed doing this is by sponsoring a child through Compassion International. I have had Lena from Indonesia as my sponsor child since my sophomore year of college. So yeah, please don't let money stand in your way. We write letters to each other, and one day I'd really like to go visit her someday. I have no idea how it's worked out for me to have 32 bucks a month in my account, ready to go to her, but it always has...worked out.
So if you are looking for a little way to make a big difference, please let me know or click on the link at the left that reads "Help children". It's so rewarding.
Most of you who know me are aware that I agree with the Westminster Catechism that "the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." Please understand (those of you who know me know THIS as well) that I DON'T succeed at living this out much of the time. The coolest part is, my success or failure doesn't determine my ability to glorify God...or my worth, for that matter. Both of those things were secured when Christ's death and resurrection bought my redemption.
Ok, so I didn't mean to launch into doctrine, I just rarely am able to get around it. lol. What I REALLY wanted to blog about was an opportunity available to anyone to help someone in need. One of the ways we grow, learn, and understand purpose is to better ourselves by doing or giving something for a neighbor.
A small, meager way that I have immensely enjoyed doing this is by sponsoring a child through Compassion International. I have had Lena from Indonesia as my sponsor child since my sophomore year of college. So yeah, please don't let money stand in your way. We write letters to each other, and one day I'd really like to go visit her someday. I have no idea how it's worked out for me to have 32 bucks a month in my account, ready to go to her, but it always has...worked out.
So if you are looking for a little way to make a big difference, please let me know or click on the link at the left that reads "Help children". It's so rewarding.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
More of my process...
I gave my presentation today for this rotation. I thought it went pretty well, especially for my first one. So that's one hurdle jumped. I also started my part-time job tonite at CVS here. Loved it. The people I work with are super cool and fun to be around. I can tell I'm gonna like it. So things are not as overwhelming as before. Part of my fam's coming in this weekend. That's good. I miss my family.
Still looking for a church. Please pray for that if you're reading this. If you read my last blog, you know that I need some healing in terms of my heart in correlation to The Church. I hurt for it. And I need one...the fellowship...the accountability...the community.
I gave my presentation today for this rotation. I thought it went pretty well, especially for my first one. So that's one hurdle jumped. I also started my part-time job tonite at CVS here. Loved it. The people I work with are super cool and fun to be around. I can tell I'm gonna like it. So things are not as overwhelming as before. Part of my fam's coming in this weekend. That's good. I miss my family.
Still looking for a church. Please pray for that if you're reading this. If you read my last blog, you know that I need some healing in terms of my heart in correlation to The Church. I hurt for it. And I need one...the fellowship...the accountability...the community.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
My heart is broken for the Body of Christ in America. The apathy that is rampant in the vast majority of our assemblies is disgusting. We are scared of the real thing. We are terrified of whole surrender. We're too afraid of what God will ask us to do, of what God wants from us. The truth is we are too ignorant of His love, the depth, the quality, and the power of it. We are highly deceived about what He DOES want for us. It's not scary. It's not unattainable. It's simple and sweet and worth everything. Not only are we afraid of it, but we silence and persecute those who challenge us toward it. We want what we know. We want what we've seen and heard before. Don't bring us something we don't understand. Don't lead us to a new place where we have to change in order to live there. We like HERE and NOW.
We've forsaken the most basic command Christ gave us: follow Him. What comforts did He ever lay hold of? He didn't even seek to save His own LIFE! We don't want to give up our favorite TV show in order to be closer to Him.
bureaucracy. leadership structure. contemporary vs. traditional. giving. taking. growing. buildings. outreach. "worship". What does these words mean to a soul without Christ? Have we shown them Who He is?
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LOVE THEM. DO WE EVEN LOVE EACH OTHER? DO WE LOVE OURSELVES? DO WE BELIEVE THAT GOD LOVES US AS HE SAYS HE DOES? DO WE LIVE IN THE FREEDOM CHRIST DIED TO GIVE US? IF NOT, HOW CAN WE OFFER IT TO ANYONE ELSE?
Why are "church-people" so judgmental? Here's a theory: We (as churchgoers) have yet to truly lay hold of the forgiveness God offers us, so we can't experience the real freedom of being pardoned from all our sins. Since we subject ourselves to these burdens of personal punishment, we feel that others should too. Because after all, they're not perfect. Isn't that the Story? Isn't that the whole point? WE ARE NOTHING. That's the beauty of the Gospel. We haven't ever been. We've never had anything to offer. Then God, in His infinite love, sent Christ to redeem for Himself a people to KNOW Him and experience his LOVE based on NO merit of their own. Our glory is that Christ died for us and conquered death so that we might LIVE through Him. That's our glory, that's our story, that's our whole worth wrapped up in a nutshell. So the daily mess, we all got it! Stop acting like you don't and looking down on me because I do. Until we, as the Body of Christ, learn to love EACH OTHER AS WE ARE, the world won't want to join in. It starts with individuals. Do you love YOU as you are? I honestly struggle most with this one. But...when I can lay hold of those promises of God's huge and unfailing love, I can love ANYONE just because HE loves me.
Thanks for reading my heart.
We've forsaken the most basic command Christ gave us: follow Him. What comforts did He ever lay hold of? He didn't even seek to save His own LIFE! We don't want to give up our favorite TV show in order to be closer to Him.
bureaucracy. leadership structure. contemporary vs. traditional. giving. taking. growing. buildings. outreach. "worship". What does these words mean to a soul without Christ? Have we shown them Who He is?
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LOVE THEM. DO WE EVEN LOVE EACH OTHER? DO WE LOVE OURSELVES? DO WE BELIEVE THAT GOD LOVES US AS HE SAYS HE DOES? DO WE LIVE IN THE FREEDOM CHRIST DIED TO GIVE US? IF NOT, HOW CAN WE OFFER IT TO ANYONE ELSE?
Why are "church-people" so judgmental? Here's a theory: We (as churchgoers) have yet to truly lay hold of the forgiveness God offers us, so we can't experience the real freedom of being pardoned from all our sins. Since we subject ourselves to these burdens of personal punishment, we feel that others should too. Because after all, they're not perfect. Isn't that the Story? Isn't that the whole point? WE ARE NOTHING. That's the beauty of the Gospel. We haven't ever been. We've never had anything to offer. Then God, in His infinite love, sent Christ to redeem for Himself a people to KNOW Him and experience his LOVE based on NO merit of their own. Our glory is that Christ died for us and conquered death so that we might LIVE through Him. That's our glory, that's our story, that's our whole worth wrapped up in a nutshell. So the daily mess, we all got it! Stop acting like you don't and looking down on me because I do. Until we, as the Body of Christ, learn to love EACH OTHER AS WE ARE, the world won't want to join in. It starts with individuals. Do you love YOU as you are? I honestly struggle most with this one. But...when I can lay hold of those promises of God's huge and unfailing love, I can love ANYONE just because HE loves me.
Thanks for reading my heart.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Does God change His mind?
I was recently face-to-face with this question during my personal reading time. I decided to consult a concordance and then a wiser Christian. Here's what I found. Feel free to add.
Dear wiser Christian (who shall remain nameless because I didn't ask his permission),
I came across a passage in Amos 7 that challenges my current understanding of God's omniscience. It's in verses 3 and 6 when Amos pleads with Him to withold His full wrath against Israel. The NASB says that He "changed His mind", while the NIV uses the word relented. Zondervan's concordance took it back to a Hebrew word naham, meaning the previously used words or to show sympathy or comfort. My question is: what does this imply about God's will and His omniscience? For Him to truly "change His mind" the way we as humans change our minds would imply there is information of which He was made aware that He previously did not know. I don't believe I can reconcile that with His omniscience. Was it just an act to grow Amos's faith? God doesn't lie, so it would be contrary to His essence for Him to proclaim all this judgment with no real intent on carrying it out, right? That's my dilemma in a nutshell. I was hoping you could shed some light on how to package this in my head.
Thank you so much for your time.
-- For His glory,
Lauren Webb
Isaiah 42:6
The response, which was extremely fast, I might add, is below.
Lauren,
You have raised an excellent question. This phrase occurs numeroustimes in the Old Testament where God is seen as "changing his mind."Based on other propositional statements about God's will, His decrees,His character, His constancy and faithfulness, I do not think that thesepassages could mean that he changed his mind on a whim based on some"new" information.
It seems best to me to understand this language in the passage in a waysimilar to what we have to do to several of God's statements to Hischildren as "theanthropic" language-that is it is God using human language to communicate to us in a waythat we can understand based on our limted experience, our limitedunderstanding and our finiteness--compared with His infinite attributesof omniscience and foreknowledge. John Calvin was fond of saying thatGod had to use "baby talk" with us for us to understand.
I think that the concept of "theanthropic language" is the best way tounderstand this concept and be faithful both to the language of the textand the theological propositions about God elsewhere in Scripture.I know that this brief response will not answer all of your questions,but I hope it will help a little bit. The idea of theanthropic language goes along for me to satisfy some of these very challenging sections ofthe OT.
- The Wiser Christian
I liked it. Let me know what comes to mind for you...
I was recently face-to-face with this question during my personal reading time. I decided to consult a concordance and then a wiser Christian. Here's what I found. Feel free to add.
Dear wiser Christian (who shall remain nameless because I didn't ask his permission),
I came across a passage in Amos 7 that challenges my current understanding of God's omniscience. It's in verses 3 and 6 when Amos pleads with Him to withold His full wrath against Israel. The NASB says that He "changed His mind", while the NIV uses the word relented. Zondervan's concordance took it back to a Hebrew word naham, meaning the previously used words or to show sympathy or comfort. My question is: what does this imply about God's will and His omniscience? For Him to truly "change His mind" the way we as humans change our minds would imply there is information of which He was made aware that He previously did not know. I don't believe I can reconcile that with His omniscience. Was it just an act to grow Amos's faith? God doesn't lie, so it would be contrary to His essence for Him to proclaim all this judgment with no real intent on carrying it out, right? That's my dilemma in a nutshell. I was hoping you could shed some light on how to package this in my head.
Thank you so much for your time.
-- For His glory,
Lauren Webb
Isaiah 42:6
The response, which was extremely fast, I might add, is below.
Lauren,
You have raised an excellent question. This phrase occurs numeroustimes in the Old Testament where God is seen as "changing his mind."Based on other propositional statements about God's will, His decrees,His character, His constancy and faithfulness, I do not think that thesepassages could mean that he changed his mind on a whim based on some"new" information.
It seems best to me to understand this language in the passage in a waysimilar to what we have to do to several of God's statements to Hischildren as "theanthropic" language-that is it is God using human language to communicate to us in a waythat we can understand based on our limted experience, our limitedunderstanding and our finiteness--compared with His infinite attributesof omniscience and foreknowledge. John Calvin was fond of saying thatGod had to use "baby talk" with us for us to understand.
I think that the concept of "theanthropic language" is the best way tounderstand this concept and be faithful both to the language of the textand the theological propositions about God elsewhere in Scripture.I know that this brief response will not answer all of your questions,but I hope it will help a little bit. The idea of theanthropic language goes along for me to satisfy some of these very challenging sections ofthe OT.
- The Wiser Christian
I liked it. Let me know what comes to mind for you...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I need to be in bed...
That thought weighs on me like a nagging chimp on my back. And the following thought says, "If you don't blog now, you never will." And so my life threatens to slip out of my control again. Rotations have started. I'm getting up at dawn. My body hasn't adjusted yet, so all day I pray not to fall asleep while I'm at the hospital, then I'm too tired to be social when I get home. I know I'll catch the swing of things soon.
Everything's going well. I love Nashville. Such a cool city. Love my roommate. Cool girl. Roommates.com did a girl good. I'm not advocating online dating or anything, but props to the compatibility matcher of Roommates.com. Already got most of roads navigated. There hasn't been a single time where I had no clue where I was. Yep, I've almost got this place down.
Been to some really neat churches. Still got two more I'd like to check out before I dive into one. We'll see. It's hard when churches only meet once a week. Makes this process way drawn-out. Love the people in the churches here, though. Well, just love the people period. Very vibrant. Cool individuals. And just THAT...lots of individuals.
God is proving Himself just as faithful as ever. He calms my heart constantly. Except for a few jitters still about my performance on rotations, I have such a peace about my life here. Growing, learning, and most of the time abiding. It's a sweet time.
That thought weighs on me like a nagging chimp on my back. And the following thought says, "If you don't blog now, you never will." And so my life threatens to slip out of my control again. Rotations have started. I'm getting up at dawn. My body hasn't adjusted yet, so all day I pray not to fall asleep while I'm at the hospital, then I'm too tired to be social when I get home. I know I'll catch the swing of things soon.
Everything's going well. I love Nashville. Such a cool city. Love my roommate. Cool girl. Roommates.com did a girl good. I'm not advocating online dating or anything, but props to the compatibility matcher of Roommates.com. Already got most of roads navigated. There hasn't been a single time where I had no clue where I was. Yep, I've almost got this place down.
Been to some really neat churches. Still got two more I'd like to check out before I dive into one. We'll see. It's hard when churches only meet once a week. Makes this process way drawn-out. Love the people in the churches here, though. Well, just love the people period. Very vibrant. Cool individuals. And just THAT...lots of individuals.
God is proving Himself just as faithful as ever. He calms my heart constantly. Except for a few jitters still about my performance on rotations, I have such a peace about my life here. Growing, learning, and most of the time abiding. It's a sweet time.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
My first Nashville Star Sighting
to me, anyway. I walked into the Mercy Lounge to hear some people play, and there sits Chris Rice on a bar stool. I bout flipped.
to me, anyway. I walked into the Mercy Lounge to hear some people play, and there sits Chris Rice on a bar stool. I bout flipped.
I already knew of two of the guys playing, Matt Wertz and Dave Barnes...shown below,
respectively...
I really enjoyed their music. I had never heard them live before, but they did a bombin' job. Good writing...
Then there was a new kid. I had never heard of him before, but he really impressed me. His style kinda creeps up and grabs you, then you're hooked. Check him out, Tyler James...
the kid's money.
On a little different note (but still on the star-to-me sightings), I went to church this morning with Andy and Jill Gullahorn. Such a neat experience. They attend an Anglican church here called Church of the Redeemer. Check it out. They have two beautiful children with whom I've already fallen in love. The congregation at this church was unlike any I'd ever encountered. No sign of judgment anywhere. There wasn't room because the love they showed for each other penetrated the place. Different folks from different walks of life truly united in the pursuit of Christ with a surprisingly raw desire. Like I said, it was deeply enlightening. I'll keep you posted on where I end up (churchwise).
Thanks for reading...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Something Old, Something New...
I left Memphis last Friday. The only time I cried saying goodbye was with Nat. It really hurt my heart to drive away. However, many times in the car by myself I was moved to tears when I thought of how great my friends have been, the surprise party, and all the blessings God has showered on me during my time in Memphis.
I moved all my stuff to Nashville on Saturday but didn't stay. My new roommate got up early and helped me move my stuff in! Katie's great.
We got Payten graduated, and I hung out with the fam for a couple of days. Last night was my first sleep in my old bed in a new room. I had a good talk with Katie, and I'm excited about us rooming together. I know I will like it here. I'm expectant for God to move me during my time here.
Thank you, all you who have been praying for me and encouraging me. It has been vital to me. Everyone, please come visit!
I left Memphis last Friday. The only time I cried saying goodbye was with Nat. It really hurt my heart to drive away. However, many times in the car by myself I was moved to tears when I thought of how great my friends have been, the surprise party, and all the blessings God has showered on me during my time in Memphis.
I moved all my stuff to Nashville on Saturday but didn't stay. My new roommate got up early and helped me move my stuff in! Katie's great.
We got Payten graduated, and I hung out with the fam for a couple of days. Last night was my first sleep in my old bed in a new room. I had a good talk with Katie, and I'm excited about us rooming together. I know I will like it here. I'm expectant for God to move me during my time here.
Thank you, all you who have been praying for me and encouraging me. It has been vital to me. Everyone, please come visit!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The Best- friends and family anyone could have,
- going away party ever,
- surprise kept from me,
- and time with a moon bounce.
That's what I experienced tonight. I was having (or so I thought) sushi with Zach, Justin, Nat, and Brad, but we had to hurry because I had a meeting planned later tonight. Nat drives us to pick the boys up, and it's the slowest I've ever seen her drive. I'm kind of a planner, so I'm going nuts because we're behind schedule. When we pull up to their house, Nat and Brad want to get out, and I get mad about it, cuz I'd rather just call them to come to the car! Then I notice there are ton of cars at Zach's house. Then I see my stepmom at her expedition diggout a camera. Then I notice a car that looks like my mom's. Then I flip out. I walk in to see about 30 people who have come to wish me well. It was amazing. Zach and Nat, with help from others, planned this huge party for me! I was stunned and overwhelmed. Zach had Germantown Commissary BBQ and the moon bounce blowup toy in the background of the picture brought in for everyone.
It means so much to me that people would do so much, go so far out of their way for me. I'm floored. I truly am. It is so challenging to me to see people who are so good at being a friend, at self-sacrifice, at thinking of others. These people are incredible: all my friends and family. People drove long distances, kept good secrets, and even lied well to pull all this off. I don't deserve these calibur people in my life, and especially for them to give this much to me. I'm extremely blessed and humbled by the gift of themselves that they give to me.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Broken and Inflamed...
Is my heart right now about all that is brewing at Germantown Baptist Church. I love this church, and God has used it to bring such joy and comfort to me in a big, new, scary, secular place like Memphis and pharmacy school. It was a shock for me coming from the Bubble of Union, and this church was a lifeline. I have been fed with Biblical Truth, blessed with the presence of Holy Spirit during worship services, and given the experience of true fellowship among believers in that place. All of this occurred under the leadership of Dr. Sam Shaw. God could have used anyone He chose to grow that church exponentially as He has since Pastor Sam got here in 1998. But He used Sam...because Sam has been obedient and responsive to the things God has laid on his heart. Is he perfect? NO! Is anyone? Does that mean we just shank all positions of Biblical leadership simply because no one is perfectly fit to lead them? NO! And handicap grace? What does Paul go over and over again? God's power is seen in man's weakness? He uses the fools of the earth to shame the wise? No one is adequate apart from the grace Christ died to afford us.
My point is, and I have a few of them, all of the people that voted against the new Constitution and Bylaws were NOT voting against Sam. The "Save GBC"ers are highly misinformed if they believe that to be the case. It is unfair and incorrect for them to speak for those they have not spoken to. And then to tell that to the media! Absurdity.
Here's one of the articles that has come out recently in the Commercial Appeal:
http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/germantown/article/0,1426
Please check it out. I hate that I'm leaving my church home at a time like this. But I'm not going to fail to protect and preserve it. There are rumors of people working to ask for Pastor Sam's and most of the staff's resignation. One key staff member has already resigned. And I'm mad about it. Who will fight for them? Who will defend them? They are the people God has used to grow the church in width and depth, to give the church true vision for outreach and evangelism, and to carry the church on to fulfill God-sized missions that man would never think possible. And people want them GONE? Just because they're not comfortable with a guitar instead of an organ? Or because the person sitting beside them in the church pew doesn't look just like them? Does the congregation own the preacher and his job? Is that what Paul preached in the New Testament? Does he who has the biggest tithe get the loudest voice? Is that where we are? I'm mad. I'm disappointed in God's people...in the Body of Christ.
My prayer is that God will come in power, that He will bring His justice swiftly. I pray that He will love those who are astray back into the fold. I pray that He will give me a heart that is burdened and constantly praying for those deceived. I pray that He will bring His Light and His Truth in power, and the wolves in sheeps clothing would be revealed. I pray to Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals, that He will do what only He can in the hearts of men.
Please pray... for my church, for the staff, for the divisive ones, against the Father of Lies, for God's glory to be seen and His Kingdom to be furthered. Eternity depends on it.
Is my heart right now about all that is brewing at Germantown Baptist Church. I love this church, and God has used it to bring such joy and comfort to me in a big, new, scary, secular place like Memphis and pharmacy school. It was a shock for me coming from the Bubble of Union, and this church was a lifeline. I have been fed with Biblical Truth, blessed with the presence of Holy Spirit during worship services, and given the experience of true fellowship among believers in that place. All of this occurred under the leadership of Dr. Sam Shaw. God could have used anyone He chose to grow that church exponentially as He has since Pastor Sam got here in 1998. But He used Sam...because Sam has been obedient and responsive to the things God has laid on his heart. Is he perfect? NO! Is anyone? Does that mean we just shank all positions of Biblical leadership simply because no one is perfectly fit to lead them? NO! And handicap grace? What does Paul go over and over again? God's power is seen in man's weakness? He uses the fools of the earth to shame the wise? No one is adequate apart from the grace Christ died to afford us.
My point is, and I have a few of them, all of the people that voted against the new Constitution and Bylaws were NOT voting against Sam. The "Save GBC"ers are highly misinformed if they believe that to be the case. It is unfair and incorrect for them to speak for those they have not spoken to. And then to tell that to the media! Absurdity.
Here's one of the articles that has come out recently in the Commercial Appeal:
http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/germantown/article/0,1426
Please check it out. I hate that I'm leaving my church home at a time like this. But I'm not going to fail to protect and preserve it. There are rumors of people working to ask for Pastor Sam's and most of the staff's resignation. One key staff member has already resigned. And I'm mad about it. Who will fight for them? Who will defend them? They are the people God has used to grow the church in width and depth, to give the church true vision for outreach and evangelism, and to carry the church on to fulfill God-sized missions that man would never think possible. And people want them GONE? Just because they're not comfortable with a guitar instead of an organ? Or because the person sitting beside them in the church pew doesn't look just like them? Does the congregation own the preacher and his job? Is that what Paul preached in the New Testament? Does he who has the biggest tithe get the loudest voice? Is that where we are? I'm mad. I'm disappointed in God's people...in the Body of Christ.
My prayer is that God will come in power, that He will bring His justice swiftly. I pray that He will love those who are astray back into the fold. I pray that He will give me a heart that is burdened and constantly praying for those deceived. I pray that He will bring His Light and His Truth in power, and the wolves in sheeps clothing would be revealed. I pray to Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals, that He will do what only He can in the hearts of men.
Please pray... for my church, for the staff, for the divisive ones, against the Father of Lies, for God's glory to be seen and His Kingdom to be furthered. Eternity depends on it.
New Thoughts
From my observation...and my imagination...it seems that dating relationships (in many cases, not all) that are carried out in an appropriate manner arise when a young man finds something desirable in a young woman. He observes her further to notice the presence or absence of future potential as a wife and a mom. This may not be a fully conscious process. He may not realize why he's attracted to certain things and not to others, but evidence has led me to believe this is the case. At some point, he makes the inner decision that he would like to have her as his. The pursuit begins. All he really has to do over the course of time is make her aware that he sees and values specific qualities about her. It ALMOST never fails. Women respond to being cherished. Here's the take-away points at which I wanted the reader to arrive:
GUYS: If you like the girl, just pursue! You'd be suprised how a heart can be turned when you come to retrieve it with confidence, gentleness, and perseverance. But, seriously, keep in mind, if she keeps rejecting, gather the scraps of self-esteem, and keep your eyes open for someone better suited for you.
GIRLS: Sweetie, you can crush all you want, but they ain't all coming after you. So have fun with your girls and your guy friends if you have them. Don't get overjoyed when someone wants to "set you up". It works for some; for others it's a nightmare. Keep your eyes open as well. It may actually take you somehow getting your foot in the door to snag a thought in his head. But someone will come. And keep in mind, your Savior has already come. It's a tragedy to all parties involved when the role of Christ and the man in your life become construed. No good.
A wise man once told me: Girls initiate, guys pursue, girls respond. I'm not sure that any of the previous advice applies across the board, but it's just what I've got for now.
I'd LOVE some feedback...
From my observation...and my imagination...it seems that dating relationships (in many cases, not all) that are carried out in an appropriate manner arise when a young man finds something desirable in a young woman. He observes her further to notice the presence or absence of future potential as a wife and a mom. This may not be a fully conscious process. He may not realize why he's attracted to certain things and not to others, but evidence has led me to believe this is the case. At some point, he makes the inner decision that he would like to have her as his. The pursuit begins. All he really has to do over the course of time is make her aware that he sees and values specific qualities about her. It ALMOST never fails. Women respond to being cherished. Here's the take-away points at which I wanted the reader to arrive:
GUYS: If you like the girl, just pursue! You'd be suprised how a heart can be turned when you come to retrieve it with confidence, gentleness, and perseverance. But, seriously, keep in mind, if she keeps rejecting, gather the scraps of self-esteem, and keep your eyes open for someone better suited for you.
GIRLS: Sweetie, you can crush all you want, but they ain't all coming after you. So have fun with your girls and your guy friends if you have them. Don't get overjoyed when someone wants to "set you up". It works for some; for others it's a nightmare. Keep your eyes open as well. It may actually take you somehow getting your foot in the door to snag a thought in his head. But someone will come. And keep in mind, your Savior has already come. It's a tragedy to all parties involved when the role of Christ and the man in your life become construed. No good.
A wise man once told me: Girls initiate, guys pursue, girls respond. I'm not sure that any of the previous advice applies across the board, but it's just what I've got for now.
I'd LOVE some feedback...
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Friday, May 05, 2006
One more...
Saw Pride and Prejudice tonight. Maybe not the best idea...but it did help throw a few punches
at the skeptic that's taken over, so maybe there's positive. Who can say? It was a little predictable, but it got me. I was in it. Maybe because I'm thickheaded and opinionated like Elizabeth. Once again, who's to say? And I'm sad to say (and a little embarassed) that I cried. BUT only in the part where she was talking to her dad and HE starts crying. I could SO see that occurring between me and my dad. He's got a visible heart like that. I love that about him. Okay, got a few more stories to tell so let's move on...So I'm sitting in my apartment tonight. Keep in mind that I live downtown, really close to some shady areas. I'm watching my movie; Nat and Brad are hanging out. Then BANG! A couple more... BANG! BANG! What's funny is that at first, I didn't even react. Then it kept happening! If you think the initial response is fear for my life if that happens to be coming from a 9 mm, you'd be WRONG! I'm ticked. I'm trying to watch my movie, and I wanna know why the heck some punk is either blowing something up or shooting a gun! So I throw open the blinds and open our balcony door. Then I see a couple of flashes correlating to the timing of the bangs. Then I understand...Redbirds game...is over. They're shooting fireworks. Maybe because it's Cinco de Mayo. Who knows? I don't really lose any annoyance because I'm still hindered from hearing my movie. It finally stops.
Last story, I promise to keep it short. I visited my buddies up at Louisville, KY, that go to Southern over the past three days. Today, I decide to go with Bredow to the gym at their school to work out. Then I decide I'll just lift with him. lol. Great idea. I'm reminded of how weak I currently am, and then the worse comes. I'm sitting on the machine where you do bicep curls by pulling up the bar. My elbows are on the pad. I've finished my set, and I'm about to get up. So I just drop the handlebars. Well, they're not stationary. They are set out apart from the actual bar. Think of a "T" shape. When I dropped those bad boys, they THUMPED my knees so hard I didn't think I could get up. I really didn't know what had happened. I half expected my feet to have both kicked up like I got shocked as the reflex response usually works upon percussion. And I sure enough got beat. And now I have two symmetrical knots right below my kneecap that are painful upon any type of movement in my lower leg. Great idea...
Ok, so I'm not good at keepin' things short.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
New Life!
She's precious! And beautiful! My cousin Valerie and her husband Matt had Julia Taylor 8 weeks ago. I got to meet her tonight at Meemaw's house. I held for at least 30 minutes. She's such a good baby; she slept most of the night. I gave her a bottle and tried to burp her, but I guess she hasn't found the family gift of the belch just yet. We'll teach her.
She's so tiny. She would make little noises and contort her face in times of wakefulness. Beautiful.
I wish Matt and Valerie live
d closer...I'd LOVE to babysit.
Friday, April 28, 2006
I know Will's the movie buff, and I'm not anywhere near an expert on movies, but if you know me, I tend to be opinionated, so here's what I got on this movie...
I will start with the disclaimer that there is language and a couple of sketchy scenes that could be detrimental. If you're able to get past that and take the movie in for what it set out to accomplish, it will rock you. I honestly really liked it. I thought it was the bomb at representing the harsh reality that we, many times, pretend doesn't exist. The actors were phenomenal. They sold it for sure. You even get to see Ludacris show out a little bit. The character development was addictive. I wanted the movie to keep going. So much credit should go to the writers, directors, and producers. This was done with creative genius. I would suggest seeing this with an open mind, and see where you fit among the characters.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I'm DONE!
With classes forever! (Barring seminary, of course). I took my last final yesterday, and it's a very strange feeling to not have the looming feeling that I need to be studying. All the things I had pushed off until after finals now stares me in the face, waiting for my attention. Also, no longer being a typical "student" gives me this creeping sense that adulthood is sneaking up on me behind my right shoulder. I'm too afraid to swat it away. I know I'm not going to win that battle. Many times through ASP or other responsibilities I've convinced myself that I'm ready, that I can take it. And who knows? I might be, but I'm still not necessarily looking forward to it. I don't like to do things I'm not already good at, and I'm pretty sure that this ain't gonna be one of them...at least not at first, anyway.
Last night, my class had our P3 Banquet, and it was great! I got to spend time, cut up, eat, and dance with some of the people I've been in school with for the past 3 years. We've stressed together, took tests together, laughed together, sometimes fought together, and even cried together. I'll be sad not to see them all regularly. There was even tornado sirens going off outside the place last night, but none of us paid that much attention. I guess we were willing to risk it since this was our last chance to be together before some of us ship off to Nashville, Knoxville, Jackson, and Chattanooga.
We had this fun vote on "superlatives" for our class. There were some funny ones and definitely some random ones. I tied with a guy in my class for "Class Sleeper". My mom was really proud. lol. She got on to me when I told her. I just don't sleep enough. It's not very productive. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to sleep; I just can't really find enough time for it. So yeah, when a professor drones on, reading from his slides in a monotone voice, as hard as I try, I usually end up with the eye-drooping, head bobbing, struggle to stay awake.
I also brought home Best Personality, which I was really surprised by. I have some of the coolest kids in my class. They're all extremely unique and very gifted. It's been a great three years, and I'll miss them all very much. I have definitely come out of this experience with new experiences, new memories, new insights, and a lot of new friends.
With classes forever! (Barring seminary, of course). I took my last final yesterday, and it's a very strange feeling to not have the looming feeling that I need to be studying. All the things I had pushed off until after finals now stares me in the face, waiting for my attention. Also, no longer being a typical "student" gives me this creeping sense that adulthood is sneaking up on me behind my right shoulder. I'm too afraid to swat it away. I know I'm not going to win that battle. Many times through ASP or other responsibilities I've convinced myself that I'm ready, that I can take it. And who knows? I might be, but I'm still not necessarily looking forward to it. I don't like to do things I'm not already good at, and I'm pretty sure that this ain't gonna be one of them...at least not at first, anyway.
Last night, my class had our P3 Banquet, and it was great! I got to spend time, cut up, eat, and dance with some of the people I've been in school with for the past 3 years. We've stressed together, took tests together, laughed together, sometimes fought together, and even cried together. I'll be sad not to see them all regularly. There was even tornado sirens going off outside the place last night, but none of us paid that much attention. I guess we were willing to risk it since this was our last chance to be together before some of us ship off to Nashville, Knoxville, Jackson, and Chattanooga.
We had this fun vote on "superlatives" for our class. There were some funny ones and definitely some random ones. I tied with a guy in my class for "Class Sleeper". My mom was really proud. lol. She got on to me when I told her. I just don't sleep enough. It's not very productive. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to sleep; I just can't really find enough time for it. So yeah, when a professor drones on, reading from his slides in a monotone voice, as hard as I try, I usually end up with the eye-drooping, head bobbing, struggle to stay awake.
I also brought home Best Personality, which I was really surprised by. I have some of the coolest kids in my class. They're all extremely unique and very gifted. It's been a great three years, and I'll miss them all very much. I have definitely come out of this experience with new experiences, new memories, new insights, and a lot of new friends.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Things that I've learned over the past week in planning and organizing the banquet/casino night for 400 people...
- It's never too early to start.
- You better have an awesome group of people helping you out, cuz there ain't NO way you're 'bout to pull it off on your own. And I do. This year's Exec. Committee has been amazing. I love those people. There's no way this year would have happened without their hard work, dedication, and willingness to always lend a hand. Of course, they were great about giving me courtesy laughs when I cut up during EC meetings too. And the new EC seems just as strong. ASP is such a fortunate organization to have such gifted servant leaders.
- When you're involved in things bigger than you, which in almost every case simply includes life itself, you BETTER have a rock to which you're anchored. You better have your hope and expectation invested in something bigger than your present reality. You better know Jesus.
- Never buys items online from ANY company that ships via DHL. This shipping service's incompetence alone was responsible for at least two crying episodes.
- Everything will work out, maybe not to your expectation, but it'll get done...or it won't. And you'll still live to see tomorrow according to God's will.
- No matter how many times I've seen God's faithfulness showered over my life, I always fail in the midst of trial. I wuss out. I cry. I get mad. I try to fix things on my own. I look for answers and actually expect my definition of "justice" to prevail in the universe. When the pressure hits, I completely let verses like Matt. 6:33, Prov. 3:5-6, Col. 1:17, Isaiah 55:8-9, and tons of others flee from my immediate consciousness.
I need to go back over Psalm 119:11 "Thy Word have I hid in mine heart that I might not sin against Thee."
Or how about Psalm 119:105 "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
I require being broken before I ever just listen. If God's love were no better than mine, He would have given up on me a long time ago. He gives me promises I can count, that I can rest in, promises that secure my hope.
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I received more sad news today. It seems that the reality of death has lingered in my life over the past couple of weeks. After the unexpected death of a fellow student and friend two weeks ago, this past Saturday, my father called to inform me that my great-aunt Janice had died in here sleep at a very young 58 years old. She was my MamaJo's younger sister, and my stepmom's aunt. She had health problems in the past, but no one expected this to happen now. She has many grandchildren, and one of them is expecting a child now. This has left her whole family shaken up, and my prayer is that God will use this to draw them unto Himself as their source of comfort and peace.
This morning my mom called to inform me that one of Payten's (my youngest sister who's a senior in high school) classmates hung himself. One of the most entertaining defensive football players to watch, the boy was loved and admired by many. My stepdad was one of his biggest fans on the field. The senior class is getting a tragic end to their time together. Please keep those kids and his family in your prayers. I pray that they would search for answers, and that God would reveal Himself as He is, almighty, sovereign, loving, and in control.
Spring normally brings new life, and maybe God will use these events we view as tragic to spur newness in people's souls. That is prayer. Please let it be yours.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This morning my mom called to inform me that one of Payten's (my youngest sister who's a senior in high school) classmates hung himself. One of the most entertaining defensive football players to watch, the boy was loved and admired by many. My stepdad was one of his biggest fans on the field. The senior class is getting a tragic end to their time together. Please keep those kids and his family in your prayers. I pray that they would search for answers, and that God would reveal Himself as He is, almighty, sovereign, loving, and in control.
Spring normally brings new life, and maybe God will use these events we view as tragic to spur newness in people's souls. That is prayer. Please let it be yours.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
I wish I had more items of conviction or intense emotion to blog about, but here's all that's been swimming in my head...
Daron, my sis, had surgery last Friday to fix the compartment syndrome in her legs that had been keeping her from her A-game in soccer. Please pray for her quick recovery, and you can read all about the experience on her blog, which I have linked to the left. She's awesome, and I'm very proud of her.
I went to Nashville on Saturday to look for potential living arrangements, and I was overall discouraged. There are good options, but I'd like to have a roommate due to cost-efficiency, and none are currently presenting themselves. Living with someone is a big deal. If it's a bad situation, you're looking at a pretty miserable experience. So then there's the option of living alone, I'm just not sure I want to have to take out that much in loans. We'll see. Please pray for that.
And then school, ASP, church, and the move from Memphis. It's wierd how I feel myself moving away from my attachments here. I love my friends, my church, my people at church, and my familiarity with the area. But I feel like there's much more potential to be reached in another geographic region. Most of my friends here are married or getting there, and their time is hard to get. So my communication with local friends has dwindled considerably. It works out, because there are a million other things I need to be doing. And actually, it's conditioning me for the move. Now the communication resembles what it can be like while I'm in Nashville. Not much transition needed. But I still want to make the most of the rest of my time.
Spiritually, God really got my attention last weekend. He showed me what I looked like in terms of spiritual fitness, and I was disgusted. It's like seeing yourself 150 pounds overweight. I'm so out of shape in that area. I used to be on the ball. I guess being at Union was my glory days when it comes to spiritual discipline, because the college me would probably break out some Chuck Norris on the now me if it had the chance. I'm currently trying to recenter. Life's just sooooo not worth trying if you've lost sight of WHY you've been created. And with school, ASP, and busy-ness, I had. I think Melinda's untimely death reminded me of how to prioritize. Praise the Lord that He loves me enough to draw me back to Himself, knowing that I won't ever get it all right, but providing me the grace to seek His righteousness and pursue His heart.
Daron, my sis, had surgery last Friday to fix the compartment syndrome in her legs that had been keeping her from her A-game in soccer. Please pray for her quick recovery, and you can read all about the experience on her blog, which I have linked to the left. She's awesome, and I'm very proud of her.
I went to Nashville on Saturday to look for potential living arrangements, and I was overall discouraged. There are good options, but I'd like to have a roommate due to cost-efficiency, and none are currently presenting themselves. Living with someone is a big deal. If it's a bad situation, you're looking at a pretty miserable experience. So then there's the option of living alone, I'm just not sure I want to have to take out that much in loans. We'll see. Please pray for that.
And then school, ASP, church, and the move from Memphis. It's wierd how I feel myself moving away from my attachments here. I love my friends, my church, my people at church, and my familiarity with the area. But I feel like there's much more potential to be reached in another geographic region. Most of my friends here are married or getting there, and their time is hard to get. So my communication with local friends has dwindled considerably. It works out, because there are a million other things I need to be doing. And actually, it's conditioning me for the move. Now the communication resembles what it can be like while I'm in Nashville. Not much transition needed. But I still want to make the most of the rest of my time.
Spiritually, God really got my attention last weekend. He showed me what I looked like in terms of spiritual fitness, and I was disgusted. It's like seeing yourself 150 pounds overweight. I'm so out of shape in that area. I used to be on the ball. I guess being at Union was my glory days when it comes to spiritual discipline, because the college me would probably break out some Chuck Norris on the now me if it had the chance. I'm currently trying to recenter. Life's just sooooo not worth trying if you've lost sight of WHY you've been created. And with school, ASP, and busy-ness, I had. I think Melinda's untimely death reminded me of how to prioritize. Praise the Lord that He loves me enough to draw me back to Himself, knowing that I won't ever get it all right, but providing me the grace to seek His righteousness and pursue His heart.
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