Monday, March 06, 2006

Just as the process referred to in my blog title, life keeps changing. God keeps bringing new highs, new lows, and basic NEWNESS. I've experienced and been challenged with so many situations I never thought I would be in. They're definitely not all bad. They're just NEW, as if I haven't been redundant enough by this point. Let me just go ahead and specify that haven't been in my life before...(see how I tried to not use the three-letter word that starts with an N again?)

Stress- I know everyone throws this word around like we do the word water or time or busy, but it's taken on a much more intense effect on me lately. I've mentioned it before in my blogs, but let me reiterate that it hasn't subsided much. Some of the sources of stress (school, ASP presidency, the ASP banquet, finding a place to live and moving to Nashville) will not be alleviated until well into May. However, some of the sources (finding a car, dealing with the wreck, etc.) have come to a close. God has been faithful to hold me through that ordeal, and I now have a car that is far more than sufficient to meet all my needs. And I'm very grateful to Him and to my parents for helping with that solution.

Relationships- I'm probably more removed from them than I've ever been on a regular basis. Interacting with people is probably next after time spent with God in terms of importance in my life. It's wierd that I've had to forego some of these opportunities to hang out with friends in order to survive the other agenda items that were vying for my time.

Then there's the fun stuff, like helping out with the youth at church. I absolutely love it. I love the kids. The ministers are amazing at what God's called them to do. I love to see it all, and to get to be right there helping facilitate God's work through that ministry is like dessert to me. My experiences there have taught me to relate to and love freshman girls that I was scared I had nothing in common with. I've also learned to be a "switcher" (one who sits at the tech booth and switches from different camera shots with various effects between), a cameragirl (is that the correct term?) who runs around on and in front of the stage while the DNow band is playing (thanks to Will Turner, the intern who insisted I could do the job even though I almost cried when he told me that was my post), and I've learned to believe in and invest in God's work in future generations. The words and time given to me by people during my youth such as Russ Wilkins, Fred Ward, and Ronnie Hill have made a huge difference in my walk over the years. If God can use me in a fraction of that capacity in the life of a student at GBC, I say "yes!" "Here am I, Lord, send me." This, along with school, is my mission field for the moment.

God's solidifying many concepts in my hearts, and it's priceless. I've been walking long enough to not place value on the intensity of emotion I feel at different times and settings but just appreciate when He lets me feel near. I'm learning to truly rest and trust in the Truths of God's Word, just because they're there. And they don't change...ever. That's a victory in itself. That Book is it. All the answers. So if my emotions don't happen to line up, the explanation is usually lack of referral to the Manual for this life.

The thing that most often reminds me of the fact that God is God and I am not is that He never changes. His immutability is my rock to stand on. The only thing I'm consistent at is being inconsistent. But because His ability to use me is NOT dependent on how "good" I am, He can do all things AT ALL TIMES. Praise the Lord that I am His...that I am known by Him and loved by Him...that I have an eternal inheritance that far surpasses everything I can see in this life...that man is but a breath and that HIS love is everlasting!


kcMay said...

I so love reading your writings, they inspire me!! We so need to go get coffee one day or night and chat God - since he is the obvious most important thing in our lives!!

kcMay said...

p.s. this is kaci mccutchen BTW