Okay, okay, I get it...
I've decided to take the plunge. After two different instances of being questioned and explaining my stance on things, I've changed my mind. And I still haven't decided what the right choice is.
Those who know me well know that I have a small band with the words "TRUE LOVE WAITS" that I wear on my left ring finger...a.k.a. the "here's-how-you-know-whether-I'm-taken" finger. Since I've been in Tacoma, I've had one in-depth conversation with an endocrinologist in which the man assured me that I was deterring all respectable, date-able guys wearing it on that hand. The other night my grandmother asked me about it, and it came up again tonight with my friends at dinner.
Initially my thoughts were that it provides a good filter. Any person would have to get to know me at least a little bit before they asked me out. I figured that saves them money and both of us time. Seriously, I'm a handful. It's only to the kid's advantage that he figure that out beforehand. The fact that I'm never seen with a guy and work with the SINGLE'S group at church is clear enough to me.
I had originally thought I could wait a couple more years before I made the switch. I think I saw it as a last-ditch effort. Wow, this sounds sad. But maybe it's more about correct representation and keeping your options open. I still haven't decided.
All of this led to my ultimate decision: tonight I switched the ring to my right hand. My friend Donna made a good point: most guys get confused about which hand it is anyway. But I still feel a twinge of being a sell-out. I even called a couple of trusted guy friends to ask their opinion. They of course didn't answer the phone. So I need some feedback. Help a sister out.
11 comments:
WHOOOHOOO! At a girl! I'm so proud. I only wish I could have been there to see the switch! The ring is a sign of a commitment. The commitment is in your heart, so it really doesn't matter where you wear the ring or even if you wear the ring. What matters is your heart on the issue. And it's good to help the brothers out...they get freaked by silver on the forth finger!
The commitment is in your heart to wait for the right person, the ring is just the outward symbol of that commitment and doesn't change your heart based on what hand it is worn on. Ultimately, you know it's totally in God's hands and ring or no ring, left hand or right, he's got the perfect man for you who will pursue you because of who you are. He won't be attracted by the ring, or turn away because of the ring. He will be attracted by the heart of the person wearing the ring (and also by your charming personality and your total hotness).
so here is "sassy's" opinion... the ring is a sign of your commitment and you could wear it on any finger/around your necklace,etc. and switching is just not to confuse those boys and we are trying to disprove our motto. i am tired of going back to it. love you tons!!!
-lk
I don't think it matters. I mean wouldn't you want a guy to know you pretty well before he asks you out to know that you're not married. I don't know I guess I just believe in God's persistent will that will give you what he has for you. I don't think God changes his mind about that. I think God knows, and he'll but that right person in the right situation and frame of mind. So no worries either way :). I heart you.
Girl i am so proud of you!! Who knew that conversation at Maffioza's would lead to a life change. Ha! Ha! God knows your heart and the desires of your heart so ring or no ring His plan is perfect. But I do think guys get confused when they see a band on the ring finger. It is entirely up to you what you decide to do. But just to let you know...I'm so proud our little LDub is growing up.
hey pretty lady way to go! its all up to God anyways ring or no ring...im excited for you!
I guess I don't think it really matters. I think the people who would be the most confused would be someone who doesn't know you at all. Even if you are approached by someone like that it would probably take 10 minutes to find out your life is about Christ and that weeds out a lot of people! Maybe it will make you feel like you have more freedom to not have to follow a rule you think you're supposed to. Just a thought.
Lauren...I am gonna take a kind of different route...God's timing is perfect...what if this "switch" is God's idea of letting fear, or pride, or some sort of issue go in your life...maybe it is foreshadowing of an empty finger waiting for a ring to be placed on it...the fact is...
Brad wore a similar ring on his ring finger for the longest time...people asked questions, but it didn't take long to figure out what the ring was about...just like in your case...your hope, faith, and trust in God will lead you to your mate...not a lack of ring!
~Natalie
hey there lady,
i see that you're not married anymore. i noticed you have a ring, but i see that it's on your right hand. want to go out tomorrow night?
-some disgusting stranger
L Dizzy...let me give you a guy's perspective. I would agree that the ring on the ring finger is a little confusing. On the other hand, I am sure it has opened the door for you to share with people what it means and thus speak of Christ. But as far as the commitment goes, I echo what Alyson said. The commitment is a matter of the heart and not what finger you wear it on.
So, can you make a statement about your commitment to purity and provide clarity to male suitors who may want to get to know you at the same time? Yes ma'am. So I think it is a good move that changes very little. I mean, I do believe in the sovereignty of God. :)
Since the time of this post, how has things changed?
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