Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Why is it that you learn the most about yourself in high-stress situations or those that evoke strong emotional response? Today was one of those. As a learner, you're constantly in a cycle of ignorance then mastery. I sometimes struggle when the bouts of ignorance are brought to light by those supervising you. And more than that, so much of it has to do with the style in which the enlightenment or the drilling (that's how it fills most of the time) is delivered.

Couple with this the face that I'm too proud. I know humility is a struggle for me. It's a constant prayer request and sometimes when it's answered, I feel pain. When people make me feel stupid, especially in front of other people, my pride gets pricked. And I don't respond well. It usually evokes an animosity deep within me that brings pictures of physical retaliation in my head. Thankfully, I'm old enough now to not follow every instinct.

Now I'm left to respond as an adult. It's a good trial. Life's not easy, and I'm rarely the boss. Therefore, there will undoubtedly be more of these uncomfortable situations. As a pro-active person (that I'm trying to be) instead of a reactive person, I decide how I will respond in these circumstances.

So what did I do? I took a really long nap.


Daron said...

Hey, naps can solve a lot of problems in my opinion. ;) You are an adult, by the way; you don't just act like one. You're an adult I look up to. You're also an adult I cannot WAIT to see in a few short days! :D

Love you so much!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you had a bad day. I don't know what happened but there's rarely a reason to embarrass anyone in front of others but if it was your boss probably better that you handled the way you did.Hang in there.
Love you lots,