Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Why is it that you learn the most about yourself in high-stress situations or those that evoke strong emotional response? Today was one of those. As a learner, you're constantly in a cycle of ignorance then mastery. I sometimes struggle when the bouts of ignorance are brought to light by those supervising you. And more than that, so much of it has to do with the style in which the enlightenment or the drilling (that's how it fills most of the time) is delivered.
Couple with this the face that I'm too proud. I know humility is a struggle for me. It's a constant prayer request and sometimes when it's answered, I feel pain. When people make me feel stupid, especially in front of other people, my pride gets pricked. And I don't respond well. It usually evokes an animosity deep within me that brings pictures of physical retaliation in my head. Thankfully, I'm old enough now to not follow every instinct.
Now I'm left to respond as an adult. It's a good trial. Life's not easy, and I'm rarely the boss. Therefore, there will undoubtedly be more of these uncomfortable situations. As a pro-active person (that I'm trying to be) instead of a reactive person, I decide how I will respond in these circumstances.
So what did I do? I took a really long nap.
Couple with this the face that I'm too proud. I know humility is a struggle for me. It's a constant prayer request and sometimes when it's answered, I feel pain. When people make me feel stupid, especially in front of other people, my pride gets pricked. And I don't respond well. It usually evokes an animosity deep within me that brings pictures of physical retaliation in my head. Thankfully, I'm old enough now to not follow every instinct.
Now I'm left to respond as an adult. It's a good trial. Life's not easy, and I'm rarely the boss. Therefore, there will undoubtedly be more of these uncomfortable situations. As a pro-active person (that I'm trying to be) instead of a reactive person, I decide how I will respond in these circumstances.
So what did I do? I took a really long nap.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Fried Pickles
Today was my debut at church as a greeter. It was also "nametag Sunday", so I had a great excuse to walk up to people, ask their name, and their favorite fair food. (Evidently, the bottom part of your nametage contains your answer to a question posed for the day). I had forgotten how natural it is for me to walk up to strangers and engage them in conversation. It was great. I really enjoy it. I had forgotten.
My answer to the question was fried pickles, which was befuddling to the people of the Pacific Northwest, since they had never experienced fried pickles. But I distinctly remember my first encounter. It was the midsouth fair in Memphis. I don't remember who I was with at the time, but I remember loving them...with ketchup or ranch, these things are money. I didn't let my church friends make squeamish faces long before I forced them to admit they'd never actually tried them. That negates one's opinions on anything edible.
Then I myself had my first Washington State fair experience. I mainly went because people kept raving about certain foods that I needed to experience. Today was the last day after two weeks, and it was still packed out! I won't list all the foods I partook of except for the scones. They were money. They were pretty much all they had been talked up to be...and more if you consider the price. It's just a little sweet biscuit with butter and jam. But man, it's good.
That's pretty much all we did...that, and people watch. Always fun.
This is my last week rotating in pediatrics. I'll be kinda sad to leave this area. I really found a niche there. We'll see if I still feel drawn to it after my other rotations. And another good thing about this week ending is that I go home to visit in a week! How exciting!
Today was my debut at church as a greeter. It was also "nametag Sunday", so I had a great excuse to walk up to people, ask their name, and their favorite fair food. (Evidently, the bottom part of your nametage contains your answer to a question posed for the day). I had forgotten how natural it is for me to walk up to strangers and engage them in conversation. It was great. I really enjoy it. I had forgotten.
My answer to the question was fried pickles, which was befuddling to the people of the Pacific Northwest, since they had never experienced fried pickles. But I distinctly remember my first encounter. It was the midsouth fair in Memphis. I don't remember who I was with at the time, but I remember loving them...with ketchup or ranch, these things are money. I didn't let my church friends make squeamish faces long before I forced them to admit they'd never actually tried them. That negates one's opinions on anything edible.
Then I myself had my first Washington State fair experience. I mainly went because people kept raving about certain foods that I needed to experience. Today was the last day after two weeks, and it was still packed out! I won't list all the foods I partook of except for the scones. They were money. They were pretty much all they had been talked up to be...and more if you consider the price. It's just a little sweet biscuit with butter and jam. But man, it's good.
That's pretty much all we did...that, and people watch. Always fun.
This is my last week rotating in pediatrics. I'll be kinda sad to leave this area. I really found a niche there. We'll see if I still feel drawn to it after my other rotations. And another good thing about this week ending is that I go home to visit in a week! How exciting!
Monday, September 17, 2007
I can tell it's Monday
So far I've managed to
So far I've managed to
- get a blister on my heel from my awesome rain boots that the weather warranted for my walk to work
- print two beastly documents to a phantom printer
- set off the exit alarm in the children's hospital by pushing the door before it read my badge
- go the wrong way once I did find a stairwell sans alarm and had to walk back up two flights now instead
BUT...
last night I had one of the coolest bowling experiences of my life. I had a 6-10 split after bowling right down the middle. So I thought I'd be clever and bowl with both hands. I put a 12-pound ball in my right and left hand and made my usual release. The two balls traveled down the lane pretty smoothly, bumped each other about midway down, and traveled out to level the pesky pins that thought they had me beat! It was awesome! I couldn't believe it. I will never be able to reproduce it, but I did have witnesses. I can get you names and numbers if you need them.
And yes, this was the coolest part of my weekend. It's okay if you're a little jealous.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Lil Update...
So I've noticed no one comments when I get super-deep with my post topic on here...it's kinda like giving a speech, finishing, and the room just sits in silence. But that's an acceptable response, it's kinda like trying to find words when someone's really upset or something. Maybe it's best to just quietly console? No big deal, just observation. Moving on...
Went to a concert with one of my new friends here, a cool transplant from Texas who actually knows one of my college buddies (Burgett) because they both work for NAMB (google it). We saw Phil Wickham, who I've enjoyed the music of for at least two years and never gotten to see because he kinda stays toward the west coast.
I'm also loving my pediatrics rotation this month. It's fast-paced but I get to round every morning with an attending, two medical residents, and 3 medical students. It's good times, and I actually feel like I make a contribution. Other than that, nothing doing. I get to go home after this rotation! Yay, back to Tenne-too hot (in the words of the great Ben Bredow) to see my friends and fam! And be in a wedding. Good times.
So I've noticed no one comments when I get super-deep with my post topic on here...it's kinda like giving a speech, finishing, and the room just sits in silence. But that's an acceptable response, it's kinda like trying to find words when someone's really upset or something. Maybe it's best to just quietly console? No big deal, just observation. Moving on...
Went to a concert with one of my new friends here, a cool transplant from Texas who actually knows one of my college buddies (Burgett) because they both work for NAMB (google it). We saw Phil Wickham, who I've enjoyed the music of for at least two years and never gotten to see because he kinda stays toward the west coast.
I'm also loving my pediatrics rotation this month. It's fast-paced but I get to round every morning with an attending, two medical residents, and 3 medical students. It's good times, and I actually feel like I make a contribution. Other than that, nothing doing. I get to go home after this rotation! Yay, back to Tenne-too hot (in the words of the great Ben Bredow) to see my friends and fam! And be in a wedding. Good times.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Reaction vs. Response
As part of the management portion of our residency, we began reading the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I initially expected the book to be a bit cheesy and super-business-focused. Much to my surprise, the first two chapters (the intro and the first habit) were incredibly insightful. He addressed so much about our culture, and how we as individuals can better ourselves for the sake of society as a whole.
One of the main points (or maybe for me the most convicting point) was to be a responsive person as opposed to being a reactive person. Reactive people are at the mercy of their environment, their situation, and the world's effect on them. Responsive people take all that into account but believe they can effect change by making choices that dictate their emotions, thoughts, and actions. I'm a passionate person (do you hear the tone of excuse in my words?), so reaction is what people can usually bank on with me. That's why I'm a fun target for picking at, people find it amusing to get me riled up...and it usually doesn't take much or long for that to occur. I've never minded this; I've even learned to play off it in order to get to know people, entertain a group, etc. However, in the work setting, particularly one of high stress, it is nothing but a burden. It certainly doesn't improve or optimize workflow.
Last night I came home pondering the implications of the various points made during our book discussion. I decided to turn on the tv and found that my cable wasn't working. I just thought it was probably out in the area, no big deal. They will probably fix it soon. Later on I decided to check my email...no internet. My whole connectivity was gone. I called Comcast; they had no sufficient answer to my dilemma and promised to send someone the next day.
After calling and venting to my mom (this whole situation for some reason pushed me past some tipping point; I'm hoping hormones were a little to blame), I decided to turn on my computer and listen to music. What better to time to optimize my itunes playlists? I was listening to a Bethany Dillon song (She's a Christian singer and her music is amazing), and my heart fell open. Seriously, I was overwhelmed with a sense of deep repentance and convictional purging. I realized it had taken God cutting me off to get me alone with Him, to get my full attention. I was broken. I missed that. It is such a cleansing experience, and I really couldn't tell you the last time I experienced it. I was thankful...for the lesson but mostly for the encounter.
Here's the gist: GOD PURSUES US...for some reason. I've never understood it fully. But He, in His infinite wisdom and love, has decided to go before us and hem us in behind. I'm never outside of His hand...but sometimes He cups His hand close against His heart.
As part of the management portion of our residency, we began reading the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I initially expected the book to be a bit cheesy and super-business-focused. Much to my surprise, the first two chapters (the intro and the first habit) were incredibly insightful. He addressed so much about our culture, and how we as individuals can better ourselves for the sake of society as a whole.
One of the main points (or maybe for me the most convicting point) was to be a responsive person as opposed to being a reactive person. Reactive people are at the mercy of their environment, their situation, and the world's effect on them. Responsive people take all that into account but believe they can effect change by making choices that dictate their emotions, thoughts, and actions. I'm a passionate person (do you hear the tone of excuse in my words?), so reaction is what people can usually bank on with me. That's why I'm a fun target for picking at, people find it amusing to get me riled up...and it usually doesn't take much or long for that to occur. I've never minded this; I've even learned to play off it in order to get to know people, entertain a group, etc. However, in the work setting, particularly one of high stress, it is nothing but a burden. It certainly doesn't improve or optimize workflow.
Last night I came home pondering the implications of the various points made during our book discussion. I decided to turn on the tv and found that my cable wasn't working. I just thought it was probably out in the area, no big deal. They will probably fix it soon. Later on I decided to check my email...no internet. My whole connectivity was gone. I called Comcast; they had no sufficient answer to my dilemma and promised to send someone the next day.
After calling and venting to my mom (this whole situation for some reason pushed me past some tipping point; I'm hoping hormones were a little to blame), I decided to turn on my computer and listen to music. What better to time to optimize my itunes playlists? I was listening to a Bethany Dillon song (She's a Christian singer and her music is amazing), and my heart fell open. Seriously, I was overwhelmed with a sense of deep repentance and convictional purging. I realized it had taken God cutting me off to get me alone with Him, to get my full attention. I was broken. I missed that. It is such a cleansing experience, and I really couldn't tell you the last time I experienced it. I was thankful...for the lesson but mostly for the encounter.
Here's the gist: GOD PURSUES US...for some reason. I've never understood it fully. But He, in His infinite wisdom and love, has decided to go before us and hem us in behind. I'm never outside of His hand...but sometimes He cups His hand close against His heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)