Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Too Much To Post...

Dad and Lecia left today after being here for a few days. It was great. I got to show them my life here and experience a little luxury at the same time. We took an overnight trip to Seattle and went whale-watching up around the San Juan Islands. It was very neat. I love both my huge families, but I must say there's something so rich about spending time with just the parentals. I don't ever wish I was an only child (seriously, my sibs are awesome), but visits from both parent couples have been unique and priceless.

Being with people who know you that well can be a little grounding. I had forgotten what it's like not to be able to control what people perceive about you. Maybe THAT'S what I really enjoy so much about new-ness...the naivety. I hope I'm wrong, but it was a rude awakening when Dad and Lecia were sometimes able to call me out about different things I'm not so happy with about my life right now. It was refreshing.

And now I have the responsibility of addressing my issues. I thought I could live around them...pretend they weren't with things until I had something else to replace them.

But there's a bigger draw going on here. If my earthly father who loves me more than I may ever know is concerned about me and wants me to be happy, how much more does the Father Who thought of me and orchestrated my design before I was a zygote want those same things for me? Why do I assume that God always wants me to be better and to grow and to improve? Why do I think that it's only through trial, punishment, and poverty that God proves Himself near? I've been selling Him so short. I've bought into Satan's lies about Who God is and what He feels towards me.

THAT is true poverty.


will said...

good post...i guess. maybe a little too sci-fi for my taste though, you lost me at "parentals" and i quit reading after "zygote". j/k

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna go ahead and call you out for using the word zygote's a funny word for everyday vocabulary!
Lauren...don't be so hard on yourself. At some point, you have to sit back and enjoy what God has given you...and I mean truly enjoy it. I'm not saying be content to laziness, but not so eager to accomplish something that you miss where you are life and Christianity. Love ya!

Anonymous said...

We enjoyed our stay so much and now I'm missing you already.You are still so much fun to be with! Remember this when your being hard on yourself. Maybe just loosen up and be yourself around other people, too.
I'll send you some copies of the pictures we took there.
Love you lots,