Sunday's are the hardest...

but they're still not too bad. Saturday was an amazingly fun time of playing games with a group from the church I've been visiting. These kids are great, and I see great friendship potential within the group.

Back to missing people...thankfully soooo many people have made an effort to contact me and see how I'm doing. It's overwhelming and humbling to see all that God has blessed me with in terms of support. THAT'S why I am confident that I could go anywhere and do anything He asked me to. NOT because I'm strong enough or smart enough or tough enough, but because He's overwhelmingly invested beautiful souls in my life.

I spoke with Dad and the fam yesterday, and he once again made mention of how "far" away I really am this time. That actually brought tears. I think this transition has hit my family a little harder than it has me. I have the newness to distract me; they are left with the hole that I filled. Hopefully we'll all just grow in communication skills! lol.

Then today in the mail I received a letter from my sweet friend Leela and my Meemaw. I have received many cards and letters from other friends and family as well. It never fails to lift my heart. The words are so encouraging, and the effort is impressive.

It's times like these that I realize that who I am and what I've done or may do has little to do with me. I'm just living the story God's so creatively written. What a freedom. What a gratitude I should live on. What a blessing you all unceasingly are!

Here's a few more things I encounter in daily life...

Where I live and some views from it...



Where I work



A cute little coffeehouse I like

The park I walk through on the way to work...

After we got here...

Some pics...from the roadtrip

Met some peeps...

I like the church I visited yesterday. I plan on visiting a small group they're having on Thursday. I'll keep you posted. I teared up during the music; that's usually a good sign. Met a nice girl about my age with my name, and I look forward to getting to know more people there.

While training with one of the technicians today, I got to interact with a large range of inter-pharmacy personnel. It was a blast. I look forward to interacting and cutting up with them over the course of this year.

AND...last but not least, I found a group that plays ultimate frisbee online, and I went and played tonight! It was a lot of fun despite the fact that I was the worst player on the field. I'm not even supremely horrible; these kids are just studs with the disc. I'm looking forward to learning more strategy and gaining more skill. The people were really nice and encouraging. Yay, fun and good exercise AND the opportunity to meet more people. It doesn't get any better.

I took Lecia's request to heart and started snapping pics of my daily environment. I'll try to post them this week sometime. Thank you all for taking the time to read. It keeps me from feeling lonely.

One Week Down...


Many more to go. But surviving my first week at a real job is significant, especially when you add being across the country from all friends and fam and everything familiar. I just point out the weight of it to express the depth of peace and contentment God has been so faithful to provide, AND how awesome my friends and family have been at calling to check on me. That has meant so much. Just knowing that someone remembers where I am and wonders how I'm doing is encouraging.

James and Callie are the other two residents I'm working with, and they are great. We've already had good times in training and during lunch together this week. They are both smart and friendly, and I very much look forward to what this year will bring.

I still haven't found a church here yet. It's hard when you only get to check one out about once a week. But I've done a little research online, so I hope I know a little bit more of what to expect tomorrow. We'll see. Thanks for reading and commenting. It comforts me as well!

Tacoma Town


I still like it. It's been a long, fun week of unpacking, buying, assembling, and touring with Donna and Leela and then my mom and Lee. My parents are troopers. I had no doubt with them, though. Lee's a get-'er-done type for sure. Way helpful. The sad thing was, they didn't get to see Rainier. It was too cloudy. Donna, Leela, and I were fortunate enough to see it in its grandeur on Wednesday.

The people here are very different. And I love that. I'm looking forward to the way this culture and adaptive process will broaden my mind and soften my heart. I visited a church this morning, and I was surprised to find that a woman was shepherding the church. So the search continues...

So far I'm fine on homesickness. Last night was my worst. Lee and mom were still here, and my anticipation of their departure made me a bit weepy yesterday. I think I hid it well. After my text request for prayer from some close friends, today involved just a few tears in both mine and my mother's eyes.

Orientation starts tomorrow. This will be my first night in my new bed.

Here and lovin' it

Hey guys, we made it to Tacoma in amazing time. The last day of driving we only stopped when we needed gas. Donna's a champ at some driving. We got to see Mt. Rushmore, this huge beautiful gorge housing the Columbia River, and the beautiful scenery located in Montana, Idaho, and Eastern Washington (which looks a little like West TN if you didn't know).

Driving is absolutely the worst in Washington state as opposed to the other 9 that we drove through. I got a little more than perturbed at a little black Acura that Donna ended up taking a picture of.

Here are some of our best quotes so far (don't expect to understand, just know we belly-laughed):

"Let's paint by number; let's get him" - Leela

"Lauren, it's not a power cat!" - Leela

"One of these days when we stop, I may just take off running" - you guessed it, Leela

"What's the capitol of Washington state? Spoanoak" - Donna

"There was a doe right there!" - Lauren

Apartment's cute. Simple. Small. Very good for a little starter-apt for the single white female. Now for the drama of trying to furnish that beast. I think the small space will make it a little easier.

I love my little Tacoma.

On the road again...

We're on Day 2 of Mission: Move Lauren to Tacoma, and it's been a wild ride already. After days of packing boxes, climbing up and down the flights of stairs to old M-9, and millions of dollars in shipping, Donna, Leela, and I headed out yesterday morning from Nashville at around 6:30. Making only 4 stops, we made it all the way to Omaha, NE by 5:40. Don't ask me how fast I went on the last little stretch.

We drove straight to John Rosenblatt Stadium to meet up with Casey, his friend Anna (who's kinda been my friend via modern technology), Anna's friend Ranae (who graciously let us crash at her place), Bredow, and his crew (two friends, two sisters, and one of their friends). It was sweltering but once the sun went down, we enjoyed watching UNC beat Mississippi State, except that we were for the losing team. We all went to eat downtown afterwards in the cute little area Omaha calls the Old Market area.

After a good meal and goodbye's, we crashed at Ranae's for the night only to be rudely awakened at 5:30 (typical- we were getting up at 6) by a screeching, blaring FIRE ALARM. Yep, we all arranged our things and headed out the door. No biggie, evidently this had happened twice on Thursday. Here's one for you: Management, get it replaced! lol. Oh well, great story.

We're not sure where we're stopping today, but we're going to try to get as far as we can. As always, I'll keep you posted.

People are wrong about me. Not the ones that know me well. The acquaintances. The ones that only know me in one specific role, in one setting. I, like most people, have many parts, many interests, and many goals.

Two of my most important goals are to be a wife and a mom. I believe that God will allow me the opportunity to be one or both of these at some point. For a long time I've assumed that it wasn't God's timing, it didn't make sense with school and other time commitments, etc. I think all of these are still valid, but another major reason was brought to my attention by one of my great friends tonight.

I didn't realize how I was perceived just based on my degree, my future career, and the intensity of parts of my personality. I have a history of leadership, a drive to succeed, and a comfort doing things by myself. HOWEVER, there's a part of me that desired to be LED. I want to come home to a household where I serve a supporting role. I want to be someone's biggest cheerleader. Believe it or not, I'm equipped for that. Way down deep, the potential is there.

But it doesn't have to be seen now or by all...ever. God will show it to at least one. And when he sees enough he deems pursuable, then I won't have to type any more blogs of frustration such as this one.

1 down, 1 to go!

By prayers of those who love me, I passed the MPJE, which is the law exam for pharmacy licensure. I take the NAPLEX tomorrow, which is the pharmacy board exam. Obviously, the prayers worked. Let's keep those going up.

Outdoor Adventures

I realize as I begin this post that my titles are weak. There's no pull, no intrigue, just boring and generic. I am sorry. I got nothing.

Lake Tahoe is beautiful. We drove all the way around it yesterday, stopping at overlooks, Emerald Bay, and random shopping areas. During our Emerald Bay stop, we hiked down the 1-mile hill to see the Vikingsholm castle and experienced about 5 different weather patterns within an hour. I'm not joking. It started out just cold and windy. Then the snow came...and turned into tiny hail stones. Then the sun had its turn before a dang blizzard hit us full force. It cycled back through all of these multiple times yesterday afternoon. We were astounded.

Today we went whitewater rafting, and it was amazing. We had a bombin' guide named Josh who just graduated from UTC! His dad is an independent pharmacist in Arkansas. Random connections. He was seriously the best guide, and he should be- the kid kayaks semi-professionally all over North and South America! Needless to say, we had a blast. Water was freezing, but today's weather permitted short-sleeves and shorts. And I thought Tennessee weather was inconsistent!

I love seeing the outdoors like this: the mountains, the streams, the trees. It's amazing. I can never get enough. All the scenes end up looking similar in my head (from Montana, Alaska, etc.), but they still quiet me in awe. I find myself wanting to be immersed in them for a short time. I really would like to do some 3-day river trip or so at some point involving canoeing/kayaking/camping/etc. And something about the outdoors makes me want to experience it with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love the fam, but I look forward to taking trips with maybe a husband someday. The scenery for some reason seems romantic to me. And now that I've confirmed that I'm a huge dork, I'll stop now.

Tahoe Expedition

This day started out odd...and way early, I might add. Dad, Lecia, Daron, Kellen, and I arrived at the Nashville airport this morning to find out that our flight from DFW to Reno had been cancelled. The nice, but slow-paced and talkative, gate agent re-routed us with the best option which included a 5-hour layover in LA at LAX. Normally, I'm the ill and impatient one, but I've finally stopped expecting airlines to follow through with what they get paid to deliver, so I was fine with the change.

In fact, when we arrived at our first layover in St. Louis, I called (and woke due to the 2-hr time difference) my friend Will out in LA to see if he was available to meet us. We arrived in LA, cheated death in a cab ride to the 3rd St. Promenade, and ate with Will in the food court. Oh, and the only famous person we saw was Anthony Anderson, who rode first class on our St. Louis to LAX flight.

After lunch we headed down to the Santa Monica pier. It was nice even though the sky wasn't clear. I was glad the fam got to experience such a frequently-filmed locale in person. Will was nice and brave enough to load us all into his Maxima and give us a ride back to the airport.

We arrived in Reno after a flight that made me question airplane safety (I seriously thought at two different times that we were going to be thrust into a deadly tail-spin, and upon landing, the right wheels and left wheels did not touch down simultaneously), picked up the rental, ate supper, then headed over the mountain to Tahoe, where our resort is located. We were rudely surprised with heavy snow/sleet/rain all the way over the mountain. I was honestly scared. Who knew we would experience 28-degree weather in June? I prayed hard, and we made it as I type to you from the business center.

I'm having a blast with the fam, and I'm expecting a great vacation.

Some fun with the new mac on the family vacation...

I can almost write to you as Dr. Lauren Webb, and that's exciting and a little scary. What a journey these last four years have been. I think it finally hit me today as I was talking to my dad on the phone. There's so many decisions, preparations, and plans to be made, but I'll be making them all as a new graduate of a professional program. I'm pumped and a little bit liberated. But with all new freedom comes greater responsibility.

I just think of the freedom we are bought with Christ's blood. We are free from the law, but not to ignore it. We have been equipped (as with a degree) with the Holy Spirit in order to make the right choices that protect that freedom, but ultimately we choose how to wield it.

Do I sound like a wise adult yet?

From the spiritual side of the originators of Alcoholics Anonymous,

I Stand at the Door

By Sam Shoemaker (from the Oxford Group)


I stand by the door.
I neither go to far in, nor stay to far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door - the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man's own touch.

Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.

Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So I stand by the door.

Go in great saints; go all the way in -
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics.
It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled.
For the old life, they have seen too much:
One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So for them too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But - more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

'I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

As He always does, God has been working out and working on each of my stressors about this big move. Monday night I heard a great message from an old friend and mentor Moses Caesar about worry. He gave us practical steps that enable us to give things to the Lord, trust Him with our future, and live fully in the present...not letting Satan rob us of the peace Christ died to afford us.

And sure enough, the next day I was able to register for both my major exams (law and board exam) to become a pharmacist on days when I'll be in town (which aren't many in June). I've been packaing stuff up, throwing stuff out, and slowly but surely getting organized for this trek. I'm still very excited. The woman called yesterday to inform me that I officially had an apartment waiting on me when I get up there.

As for the road trip, Donna and Leela, two of my closest friends and fellow pharmacy students, have been gracious enough to volunteer to make the trek cross-country with me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that will be 35 hours in a car. We're excited about our adventure.

HOWEVER, I would like some audience participation: Give me some ideas for what we should do in the car.

Today I was constantly reminded of how lacking my faith is. My stomach has been in a jumble all day regarding my current life transition. I have a personal relationship through Jesus Christ with the Sovereign God of the universe, and I'm stressed about getting licensed as a pharmacist and moving to Washington state. Seriously. But that's the sad truth. That IS the case.

It is baffling to me how accessible the words are when I need to engage in discussion about theological or doctrinal Truth, but when I am given the opportunity to trust and obey with MY LIFE, I'm a baby. I often refer back to the Jill Phillips lyric about getting it "down to my heart from my head". What a chasm.

So, here I sit, acting my age. Pretending that at the quarter-century mark (which I will reach in July), I am equipped to carry a "Dr." in front of my name, a regular paycheck, and a life of my own across the continent from my friends and family. God is ever showing me His faithfulness...even today He brought tears. At the end of the day, I know. He IS who He says He is, and He WILL do what He says He will do. (Thank you, Beth Moore.)

In conclusion, amidst the stress about money management, moving and storing furniture, my unseen apartment, the trek out there, the new job, the church search, licensing and law exams, and everything else that comes with being an "adult", I look forward to writing to you about the specific ways that God reveals Himself during this vulnerable time. Maybe that's why I love change so much. We can never get to the end of Who God is, but with every new experience, we get to see a little more. That basis alone is enough to make my future limitless.

Memories or Vanity?

I'm triaging books and journals and papers to decide which things will making the trek to Tacoma, which will be stored at my parents' for future reference, and which will be completely discarded, never to be heard from again. Some of the books have been difficult to place. I have trouble letting go of things I had once assigned value to. I'm trying to be as minimalistic as possible.

Then I came across tons of old journals. And I was faced with a dilemma: do I keep these? Why would I? Am I ever going to want to know what they said? Does it matter now? Will someone else want to know? Would my children be interested? I know when I found some old journals of my mom's, I was completely intrigued by the stories inside. It was entertaining to me. And people write biographies and memoirs from such things. But assuming that I would be biograph-able is vain. Assuming that someone is going to want to know what happened during my college years, my high school years, and those thereafter is a bit pompous, I feel.

The only validating conclusion I have reached regarding their preservation would be the possibility of someone reading about my life and seeing how God used the weak, the poor, the foolish thing (me) of this world to accomplish His purposes, to show His power and what HE alone can do in a life. I don't think my life exemplifies that at this point, but I'm trusting in this process of sanctification. That would make it worth it. Otherwise, they will just take up space and produce clutter.

Any thoughts?

So I've officially become the blogger I said I'd never be: the one that goes weeks without a post, leaving their faithful readers high and dry and bored and maybe even resistent to frequent the blog in the future. But honestly, life's just been a blur of finishing rotation, working part-time at CVS, and trying to soak up Nashvegas before I head on over the Pacific Northwest.

Tonight, however, was exceptional. One of my resolutions, if you will, before I leave this land of music and honey was to see as many concerts in my final days as possible. And tonight, one of my favorite singer/songwriters was giving a benefit concert at the Nashville Rescue Mission. I went with one of my faithful concert friends, actually a friend of Payten's that she lets me borrow due to our shared love of music. Another one of their Belmont friends joined us as well.

Tyler James is so fun to watch. I love seeing live music, but I sometimes get bored at shows. But these guys were having so much fun, and he's a refreshing artist in that he does music because it's natural to him, not to be seen or celebrated or validated. He's rare.

Then they had some of the missions' graduates tell their story, and I wiped away tears. It was so sobering to hear their life stories and how they had been changed by a relationship with Christ. One of the stories came from a guy that grew up like most of my close friends...middle class white America, went to college on a baseball scholarship, got good jobs and screwed them up because of addiction to drugs and alcohol. Ended up homeless in Nashville. Now he works at the shelter.

It really helped me put things in perspective. These people looked in the face of death and chose life...and Life abundant. I don't know if I've ever come to a crossroads of that depth. It reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for...and so much responsibility to use what I've been given for the furthering of the Kingdom.

Totally worth the admission