Monday, April 27, 2009

Wow, it's been forever...since I blogged. I'm kinda scared to do it now. I'm always nervous about what emotional place I should be in before I let loose on here. What's ironic is that when I'm in a great place with everything is when I don't take the time to jot it down on here. Oh well. The blog will have to take what it can get.

I'm learning a lot of things. And they're not super-comfortable. I don't like lessons that involve my pride getting pricked. Most of the big lessons usually do. My most recent one involves the realization (which is not necessarily new, just manifested through real circumstances) that two things about me will always make it hard for me to develop and sustain deep relationships: 1. pride and 2. insecurity. They're hard workers and together they build nice big walls of fear and doubt with perfect footholds for Satan to climb on. That's junky. I don't accept this.

God wants more for me. He loves me perfectly, and I don't understand that. And I don't do a great job of receiving that...and certainly not abiding in that. 2 Tim. 1:7 says I wasn't built for fear. And I forget where, but the Word says that perfect love casts out fear.

He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion (Phil. 1:6). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). He loved me first (while I was still in my sin), and I am altogether complete in Him. What can man do to me?

Equip us to love, Father. Remind us first always that you love us with a perfect and complete love. Our hope is safe in YOU alone. I'm so thankful for the promises of His Word.

2 comments:

Dakota's Spotlight said...

my only comment is the following...it is about time you updated this! I would have never thought I would be a more consistent blogger than you!
~natalie

BCM said...

Lauren, I am so glad that I had a chance to visit with you on the flight to Knoxville yesterday and I am glad to have discovered Lauren in Process. You are a sensitive and articulate young woman and I hope that someday you are able to do the mission work that you dream of doing.

The link to the hiking web site that I told you about is
http://students.washington.edu/mjwhit16/