Friday, February 10, 2006

SNOW

We got some of that today. It was pretty for awhile, quickly transforming into sludge that makes the bottom of your jeans dirty. It was a nice, laidback Friday afternoon. Nat and I were counting our blessings that we went ahead and moved downtown. EXAMPLE: we were able to just walk with Brad tonight a couple blocks to eat at Huey's, then to Peabody Place to watch a movie. It was kinda funny...they have already seen almost everything out, and I've seen almost nothing. So I decided to go to a movie by myself while they saw a scary movie, which I don't do.

Last Holiday with Queen Latifah was my choice. It looked cute, light, and guaranteed a good ending. I wasn't disappointed. Irony was present, though. I'm sitting there watching her experience this life trauma and respond to it BY HERSELF. And she seemed almost satisfied to do so. The irony comes in because I was sitting in the theater BY MYSELF. No, I mean, ALL by myself. There was not another soul in the place. (You can only imagine how the Lauren Webb cackle echoed through the place at certain parts.) But it was neat in that I was content to do so.

God has answered too many prayers and shown Himself in too many ways for me to whine about what culture, society, or even my own thoughts pressure me into: why am I alone? There's always the little arrows Satan uses to try to get a foothold: is there something wrong with me that I can't see? Is there something I'm supposed to learn that I haven't been equipped with yet? Am I even datable?

But God hasn't failed me yet. And I don't have an urgency in this area, because He keeps showing me that He's here. He's going with me. He's planned it all out for me. And right now, it's my adventure to live. If He decides at some point, He'll intertwine someone else's story with mine, GREAT. If not, GREAT. The presence or absence of this life partnership that I see people around me joying in has no weight in my worth. God's grace is allowing me to be genuinely happy and joyful with them and at the same time be happy being me...here...now.

I guess that's the beauty of the process...

4 comments:

Holly said...

Lauren, you might be THE most amazing person I know! And, yes, I can just imagine your cackle in that empty theatre! You are so crazy!

Michael said...

I remember one time when I was at Union I saw a movie in a theater all by myself. That had to be the coolest/weirdest experience I've ever had. Hope you didn't get snowed it too much!

Casey said...

Welcome to my life!! I live the life of "that awful snow drudge line at the bottom of your pants". I have actually forgotten what it feels like not to have that.

Casey

Anna said...

I'm right there with you on the Am I Even Dateable question, and the soggy pants issue. Here's to resting in God's faithfulness and the convenience of washing mashines!