Monday, January 11, 2010

My Story

I'm seeing more of it. I had mentioned during a previous post that my life at this cross-section was not exactly what I had projected at various timepoints throughout my development: not at 6, not at 16, not at 23, you see where I'm going with this. My choice was to step back, and re-evaluate based on the premise that God is the perfect Author. He has all my days written in His book before one of them comes to pass (Psalm 139:16). I've been needing (for a while now) to get on track with what He's writing. So I am. And it's good stuff.

One of the things I've been asking Him to show me is my eternal impact. I loved my college years because I was constantly surrounded by peers trucking down the same path I was: thought processes based on Kingdom work, new doctrinal insights imparted from a Christian author or speaker, and an overall urgency that people know Jesus. Any one day could be filled with multiple conversations that would rock my heart, soul, and mind to the core about Who God was. It was a rich and sweet time, to say the least. But now I'm a 40-hr/week kinda girl. And I go to church. Don't get me wrong: It's not exactly that simple, but from the outside looking in, one might perceive it as such. I'm definitely plugged in at my church. I love that place. I wouldn't be able to be just a spectator. In fact, I've been given some amazing opportunities to learn, be loved, give, and grow at Discovery.

But I want more. That can't be it. Doesn't Jesus have plenty to say about how easy it is to love those who love us back? Don't get me wrong: Community is HARD...and MESSY, but ALWAYS worth it. If you don't think so, you haven't stuck with it long enough to see the beauty redeemed from ashes. That was a side bar, so back to my original plight: I want to know that what I do Monday through Friday still has eternal impact.

I've been trying to look and listen. Don't snicker, I am aware it's not the most immediate action in my nature. And at work last week, one of my coworkers walked into my office. I happened (yeah, right, like there's room for coincidence with a sovereign God like ours) to be alone in there because my student had to use another computer since the second one in my office was broken. My friend asked me to pray for her about a job opportunity, for direction concerning it. Much to her surprise, I asked if I could just pray with her right there. So we did. The next day she reported that God had already given her an answer. So I was pumped!

Then this weekend I was working down in the ER, which I love with my whole heart. So much of that has to do with the staff down there. I just love those people. There's such a comraderie, and for some reason, they've let me into their clan. I was having a chat about teenagers with a coworker, and we got into a discussion on parenting. We talked a little about why kids are the way they are these days and the changing dynamic in the family units. And out of nowhere, she got a little teary-eyed, so of course, I followed the the nurses station. I became immediately aware of my opportunities and that if I weren't listening, looking, and connected to Him, I would miss them.

Now I'm more expectant. I've seen that He is able to overcome the slightly Type A, sometimes disgruntled, impatient pharmacist, and USE ME. And what does it require? Guess. I've said it on here a milllion times, and I will continue to proclaim it: A YES! That's all He asks for. He's faithful to do the rest. Please check out Eph. 2:10. Actually, start in verse 8. Ask yourself this: how much of this is up to me? And what is my response to be? The answers are NONE and BELIEVE; and WALK in His ways. They're laid out already. Just walk in them.

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