Ash Wednesday

Yep, that's today. So if you saw some people walking around with black dots on their forehead, they are probably Catholic, and they were showing reverence for the holiday. Once I was made aware of this beginning of Lent by a friend on MySpace, I decided to observe it.

The next step: what will I give up? I thought about the regular things: chocolate, cokes, coffee, or things like that. Then I thought about how improbable that would be for me. I've had at least two of the three already today. Then I decided on a couple of words that I would cut from my vocabulary for the 40 days.

This seemed simple enough. However, I counted a total of 6 times that one of them found its way to my lips. It is honestly disheartening that so little thought goes into what I let myself say. I had been convicted recently about words since the Bible talks so much about them and how not to use them frivolously. Ouch. Yeah, I'm feeling the sting on that one.

So I start this thing again tomorrow. And I'll keep trying until I finally break myself. I didn't realize how poorly disciplined I had become. Ugh. Spiritual out-of-shape-ness is uglier than physical. And way harder to fix.

This guy is honkin' hilarious. I think I've worn it out. It's on my myspace AND my facebook page. Seriously, this singer/songwriter Dave Barnes HAS to be one of the funniest kids I've ever seen. AND talented. Homeboy can sing and write as well! How come some get all the talent and the rest of us get very little? Shouldn't there be some rationing of this stuff?

I got to wear scrubs to rotation yesterday because I got to witness triple bypass open heart surgery, or a CABG (coronary artery bypass graft). It was really cool. I was never sick or even light-headed. I got a little nervous when they broke out the saw to crack open the sternum, but all went well. Neat stuff.

Then I flew to Chicago yesterday afternoon. Ugh, airlines. I'll stop there. Love this city. So much going on. And it was beautiful to get to see it all from the plane. It's huge. And freezing.

Currently the temp is -0.6 degrees with a windchill of -19. Lucky me. At least I'm getting a feel for what I would really be in for if I chose to work here. Please pray for my interview.

Have a great day.

My Valentine

Okay, I don't really have one, but I did receive gifts. My dad and my stepmom came up to drop off a car for me to drive since my policy on the rental ran out today. In the car they had left a gift bag of candy and a gift card, along with some food from MamaJo. They're consistently thoughtful like that.

Then I came home to see this...

from my awesome roommate. Why do I have all these amazing people in my life? I have no idea, but I'm thankful. See? No bitter single here on Single's Awareness Day. I had a great one, and I knew that I would. Happy Valentine's to you!

Not again...

I walked into Sunday School today to see a tv/vcr set up at the front of the room. Immediately, I groaned internally. I had an idea of what was about to take place. And sure enough, it was announced that we would be going through Tommy Nelson's study of the Song of Solomon. I winced as my dread was affirmed.

Don't get me wrong; this is a great study. I went to a conference of his live in Memphis, TN when I was a sophomore in college and have heard the tapes many times since then. He's the real deal. And he brings it.

However, as a Christian single, I get this sense that people, or better yet the Church, feel they need to address this issue that's lacking in my life. They act like, or I get the feeling that if I just learned the right Truth, or prayed the right prayer, or memorized the right verses, then God would bless me with a mate. I know that's not what they're saying, but it makes me feel like that sometimes.

I don't feel a sense of lacking...anything. And I'm very aware that whatever I may be lacking, there sure isn't any guy that's gonna bring it to me. The only thing I need is to be more like Christ, and I need that guidance in abundance.

I'm just tired of feeling like people see me as incomplete or immature or not having crossed some threshold of life because I'm not dating or immediately headed towards marriage. I'm not against any of those things, but they are just not in my life right now. And I'm okay with it! I like my life right now. I'm finishing up a doctorate program and about to move to some cool state north of here. I'm so pumped about the adventures that God has in store for me there.

And I tend to get into it with my family about my theories on the subject. I know I have high standards. NO, contrary to my family's belief, I'm not waiting to marry Jesus. But if my requirement that they love Jesus more than anything else, be taller than me, not able to be beaten up by me, have a level of intelligence that I can respect rules them out, it's not my problem! I'll stay single before I just settle for what I can see. I won't apologize.

I'm not harsh or scary or wierd about this stuff; I promise. I, like any other girl, can't wait to be pursued and romanced and appreciated. I look forward to serving and respecting and learning from and with a guy in the future. But there are only certain ways I will enter into that. And that's all I have to say about that.

Headed to Chicago on Thursday for another interview. I get to see my cousin Murray and his wife while I'm there. I'm excited.

In the Dub

Washington, that is. I apologize up front that this post may be a little random. I plan on touching on the shallow, not-important things then wrapping up with things that matter. So here goes...

The first leg went fine. Got on the plane in Nashville and got off at Denver. Had some time to kill. Ate supper. Called a few folks. Walked to the gate for my flight to SeaTac. There had been a medical emergency of some sort that I never figured out that caused the boarding to be delayed. But no big deal. I got put by a young guy who played the drums in a band and who I thought was going to beat the armrests off the row before the flight was over. But he was nice.

We landed about 10 minutes behind schedule, then it took them 20 to get our luggage off. Then I'm off to find the rental car. Well, because it's 11:00 p.m. now, the office inside the baggage claim is closed. Now I have to lug everything downstairs to the parking garage...which is where I find out that the company I chose has its office off-site, and I will have to catch a shuttle. So I walk over to the courtesy phone, dial my people, and let the guy on the other end tell me that they don't have any cars but to come on. I was ticked at this point. So I get on this shuttle and make the driver tell me that they do in fact have a car for me before I leave the premises. Otherwise, reservation or not, I was bout to be hitting up the places on site.

So this nice driver who unfortunately gets caught in this mess takes me over and I encounter the manager who doesn't care about and is in no hurry. And customer service is not a concept that has dawned upon these people, but they're generally nice, so we proceed.

All he had left was a black Jeep Commander. So I ended up with a way more expensive car for my same cheap rate. And this thing is G'd. Leather interior, huge interior. I really like it. I had forgotten what it was like to drive an SUV. I kinda missed it for a second. So I drove down to my hotel and things get way uneventful from here.

Interview today. Interview tomorrow. Now for the good stuff...

I was reading in Psalm 69 today at breakfast, and I realized that David was such a great pray-er. Prayer is something I've been wanting to become more effective at, and he's such a great one to learn from: so passionate, so real, and even though I know it's translated, his articulation moves me.

I find myself wanting to pray exactly what he did. Verses 5-6:

O God, You know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden
from You. Let not those who hope in You be put to shame through me, O Lord
God of hosts; let not those who seek You be brought to dishonor through
me, O God of Israel.

Then in verse 13, he absolutely nails it:

But as for me, my prayer is to You, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of Your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.

What's up, KC, what's up?

For those of you that know the good ole Sir Mix-a-lot song, that was for you. I made it to Kansas City just fine, and my buddy DJ Lee picked me up from the airport. Checked into the hotel before walking around the Plaza. Gorgeous area. Walked into some stores that no one I know would be able to afford...I'm talking Prada bags in some glass cases. Crazy. I tried not to touch anything.

Then I thought it would be a great idea to catch a movie since I may be one of the only people who had yet to see "The Pursuit of Happyness". So I bought a ticket. And for some reason, my body decided now would be a great time to launch into a full-blown, nausea-included migraine! Yay for me!

I had determined to tough it out at least to the end of the movie before walking up the hill back to my hotel. Excedrin migraine and a two hour nap saved my life before I had to get up and study the materials for my interview.

Made it to the interview just fine. Freezing weather, by the way. Everybody was so nice, and none of the questions really threw me. It was such a nice group of people, very supportive of the residents' learning and development. I was wrapping up with the program director when I realized it was 2:30 and my flight left at 3:55 at the airport that is located about 30 minutes out of town. And did I mention it snowed a few inches while I was there?

So after a few options retired, one of the residents offered to drive me. After pulling my bags through the snow and trying not to slip and fall (at times like these those big ole' hiking boots my dad bought me woulda come in handy) on the way to her car, we were on our way.

I got there at 3:30 to find about 200 people trying to get checked in. Let me just add that I texted Reagan, Donna, and Katie Rae to pray that I made my flight. So after them calling people whose flight was about to leave to the front and making it through security, I was waiting to board. They had delayed it just enough. I even got to sit near the front.

And now I'm home...back in the Nashvegas...waiting on the snow.

Can I just add that God is so faithful? I can't say that enough, but so many questions today, so many conversations reminded me that He is all over my life. I want Him to be known. I tried my best not to brandish Him over my head, but His banner over me is love! What's a girl to do? I got nothing better to talk about...seriously! So I did my best to keep it professional and on the correct side of certain lines. But I don't think it hurt me at all. I was genuine. I know that, and I think they picked that up. I will never suppress my heart, especially about something so vital.

And He is answering my prayers to grow my faith and to teach me to abide in His Spirit. Now I was a little nervous trying to make it to the airport, but somehow I knew it would all work out. When I prayed and asked my friends to pray, I knew God would answer that. And even if it meant another night in KC, that would work out and God would accomplish His plan for me that way. I'm excited about new growth. I'll stop there.

These kids have stolen my heart. You can probably see why. I never thought I'd be thankful for a speeding ticket, but it has brought me more joy than I could have imagined. I'm gonna go ahead and claim the divine providence that was at work in this one. And if you're in the Nashville area, you can meet them anytime.

Today's the day!

Or actually tomorrow...I'll be on the Price is Right with my pharmacy friends! I think it airs at 10:00 central. Hopefully someone in my fam can tape it because I'll be giving a presentation right about that time. Yay. We'll only be chillin in the audience, but still, fun times.

How great is this video? I never get tired of it.




And the blog below has nothing to do with it...at all.

I'm a dork.

You all knew this, but I'm about to confirm it. I was really excited last night when I was prompted to use none other than the crazy math I learned in high school and college. I seriously never thought I'd see it again; I was wrong. Here's the story:

Ok, so I'm working this word puzzle book, and it gives me a "brainteaser". It reads

Two forks plus three spoons equals $1.48. Three forks and two spoons equals $1.47. How much does one fork and one spoon cost?

So I set up the equations in order to figure this out scientifically. They should look like this:

2x + 3y = 1.48
3x + 2y = 1.47

The next step is to isolate one of the variables. I chose to isolate x. So I took the top equation and moved things around mathematically until
x = 0.74 - 1.5y

Then you substitute what x is equal to into the other equation so that the equation only contains one variable. It ends up looking something like this:
3(0.74 - 1.5y) + 2y = 1.47
Obviously multiply through the parentheses, add up the like variables, and it comes down to 2.5y = 0.75, so y = 0.30

After substituting y back into either equation, you solve for x. You find that x = 0.29

You can put them back through the original problem to check yourself.

Yay, I used math past college. It's a brand new day.

Plus, I get to see Katie Rae today, who's here nannying for a family for the weekend.

Through Pastor Sam's link on the left side, I stumbled upon some neat definitions of words that we throw around often in terms of schools of thought.

This site might be informative.

Oldie, but I love it!

Here's one of my favorite praise songs that never gets sung anymore...except by me during one of my little personal worship times before bed.

I could run away
You would never leave
You would always stay
right by my side.

Right by my side,
right by my side.

And I need You, yes, I need You
every step of the way.
And I need You, yes, I need You
every step of the way.

Everything I've ever wanted I've found in You
(right by my side)
Everything I've ever wanted I've found in You
(right by my side)


It's honestly hard for me to sing that now without bursting into laughter, thanks to one my pals who likes to change up the pronunciation. I was able to make it through a few times last night with no chuckles. Great song, now forever an inside joke as well.

What I love about Nashville...

Going to see live music...that's good...with friends...and family. Jada and her friend Megan came into town. Payten and her friend Amanda (from Belmont) came. And then all my pharmacy school/old UU crew. Had so much fun. Went to see this guy...

Andy Davis. I saw him on my birthday this year as well. Kid's money. I really like his voice, his melodies, and he puts on a great show. He'll sit and play this keyboard but kinda rock rhythmically to the music. Very cool...soulful...maybe could even be ghetto if he tried. You know I always think that's cool.

He was releasing his new cd. So you got a copy of the cd when you paid admission. Great deal. Good cd.

What's really cool about these Nashville people playing in Nashville is that all these other musicians that are their buddies come to watch them as well. So I saw Matt Wertz, Tyler James, and I think Brandon Heath (verdict's still out on whether or not that was actually him). PLUS...a major fan of these Belmont grads is Chris Rice! So yeah, he was there...supporting his boy.

I actually talked to Tyler James and Chris Rice. I just wanted to tell them that I enjoy their music, and that they really impact people. I would wanna know if it were me. I'm not shy, and I lack that inhibition that makes you think logically before you go up and risk making a fool of yourself in front of strangers. I've never had it. I guess foolishness suits me. And maybe, just maybe, they needed to hear some words of encouragement about what they do. I doubt it, but you never know.

I also introduced myself to this girl...Nicole Flatt. She's young and a great singer/songwriter from nashville. I had just stumbled upon her on myspace and loved her sound. So I told her. She was really excited, because it was the first time anyone had come up to her before. Her raw humility was refreshing. You can listen to her here: http://www.myspace.com/nicoleflatt .

The night was fun. We had a little trouble getting Megan and Jada back to my apartment. We somehow got separated on 440. lol. That was a trip...literally. But I had a blast.

Natalie came in today on her way to the 'Boro for a shower. We shared lunch at the good ole Cracker Barrel. good times. I miss ole Natty-tat.

I hope your weekend's a great one.

Europe's getting pelted with a storm dubbed "Cybil" that's left at least 33 dead (check international news to the left). the pictures are impressive. Beckham's coming to LA to be the savior of soccer in America. And Venezuela's letting Chavez approve laws by decree. (both of these stories are on www.BBC.com) Why is he still in power again? What a week!

My Sunday night was a wreck....literally.

After a great time of prayer for missions with a group from Brentwood Baptist, I left feeling so encouraged. I had decided to stop by the grocer to get ingredients for this week's lunch. As I'm driving down Old Hickory near my house, a van switches from the lane in front of me to the lane beside me. THEN decides to come back over and to avoid hitting him, I swerved onto an intersecting road and smashed into a car waiting at a light. Both car's airbags deployed, but all passengers were okay. There were three in the other car. They were supernice.

But as you might have guessed, the van pulled off. It stopped maybe long enough to see that we all got out of the car, but kept going. The cops came, the wrecker, our friend and family. So we'll see. I'm okay, just a bruised and burned wrist (I think from the steering wheel) and I can feel my neck tightening. We'll see. Here's the damage. God keeps reminding me that He has plans for me because He keeps letting me walk away from these things.

The black accord was facing forward, and the impact of the wreck turned it about 110 degrees to where we were both facing away from the road. It was sitting in the turn lane in the right side of the picture before impact.

Your Samaria

I was blessed to sit under the teaching of Mike Glenn, the pastor at Brentwood Baptist Church, this morning. He's been going through a series based on Acts 1:8 because he really wants to lead the church toward becoming a better example of an "Acts 1:8 church". Today he talked about Samaria: how they were a mixed race, looked down upon by the Jews, and basically shunned due to their past and their culture. He pointed out how Jesus gave no bounds when he commissioned the disciples to go and spread the Gospel. He didn't tell them to stop at this street or this socioeconomic background or this language or color. He went into Samaria Himself to show compassion and to convert the woman at the well. He saw no lines. He knew everyone needed Him and the salvation He offers equally.

Well, this is still the case, but we have our own lines now. Don't we? I wouldn't go into this area of town or be tight with this group of people or look or act like them. What are all the cultural and deeply-ingrained stigmas keeping me from meeting people where they are in order to take Christ and His message to them?

I was rudely interrupted with this Truth last week when I first visited the homeless shelter downtown. It's hard for me to explain without you seeing if for yourself, but these are not the people you see on the interstate ramps or sitting outside the restaurants downtown. Not that those people don't need help and compassion, they do. But these are people who are not into drugs or alcohol and have just fallen on hard times financially. Safehaven offers them shelter, food, and a program to equip them to live on their own again. It's great.

After the short time I've been doing community service there, I've been convicted about my own outlook: how I see them as different than me, how I think they should know certain things to do and not to do, how I think they should handle their children and themselves, how I (shamefully) try to justify their situation. It's gross that this stuff exists within me. Me, wanting to do missions and love people to Jesus.

This past Friday night I was the overnight volunteer at the other shelter, one I had not been to before. They just require that you lock the place up, make sure the residents are following the rules, then you go to sleep after everyone's appointed bedtime (kids at 8:00, everyone else at 10:00). I had met a few of the kids the night before, so I knew about 30% of the residents already. It was a smaller group, and I was really tired and didn't have much energy to build relationships. However, once the kids went to bed, I had an opportunity to talk with a woman, mother of 4 and married to the only man in the shelter.

I'll call her Sharon for the sake of the story. Sharon is white, probably early 30's, came from middle class America. Sharon fell for David (another made-up name), a mixed man, her sophomore year of high school. Sharon and David got married four years later. They have since had four kids, been separated, been shunned by her family, and squandered money from good jobs, which ended them up in the shelter. She was honest about how she never thought she'd be there. They had a house, car, and the typical American life. They just made some bad decisions. Now she and David have just gotten back together from being separated. They and the four kids, (10, 6, 4, and 2 years old), now live in one room in a homeless shelter. After hearing her story and the soft honesty of her heart, it broke mine. After 13 years, they are trying to get back on their feet. They're learning to budget, to parent, and to live responsibly. And they don't have anything to prove. It put things in perspective as to why they didn't behave as a drill sargeant when dealing with their kids. They' re tackling one thing at a time.

Right now, the people at the shelters are my Samaria. I desire to break down all walls and barriers. If next year, when I become completely financially independent, I don't make good decisions, that could be me. I'm no different. We all need Jesus.

Speaking of Samaria and different races, I also had a conversation with a friend today on inter-racial dating. I won't cross that bridge today, but I will say that I'm tired of ignorance that perpetuates divides. I'm tired of assumptions that sustain the chasms. As long as there is an "us" and a "them" regardless of what the basis is, there will never be a "we".

Africa

Reems has new pics up...of Mozambique. Yep, you guessed it. They are once again amazing. Let her know. Click at left.

In Other News...

I'm super-excited to say that I'm in the middle of my first experience as a maid of honor! Britt sent me a card in the mail yesterday, and I bout had a panic attack as I was driving down the road. I'm nervous, because I want to be the best one ever. I've already started the plans for the getaway weekend/bachelorette shindig. I'm so excited. Maybe I'll get some tips from Ginger. Hmmmm.

Oh, and props to the SEC for the gators' win. I was kinda glad to see OSU humbled...or who are we kidding-DRILLED. Yay for underdogs.

Some fun pics from the holidays...

The Webb family kids

the old crew hanging out in FBC Huntingdon's new sanctuary

Love this lady, my Nanny

cutting up...

our cd cover

strong boys...

get even stronger, and I'm holding light

New Year's

some of my favorites...hope you liked them.

I'm warning you...

I'm not really sure where this blog is going, but I feel a need to revamp. Not the blog, not my hairstyle, not my future. Maybe my perspective, or my world view, or my self perception. I'm really hungry to learn and be improved by what I encounter.

Different inputs have been blowing my mind for the past month or so, and I've been very blessed for God to use such unique avenues to expand my mind about Himself:

1. Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. I've been reading through it for over a month now, small pieces at a time in order to savor the small morsels of sensible outlook and understanding of Truth. He's genius. I know everybody always says that, but seriously, read the book...slowly. He was dead on. I may end up blogging on some pieces from that soon. I have many pages marked to share. I know you're excited! You could save yourself the trouble and read it on your own!
2. Conversation. I've had so many stimulating ones over the break and even recently with various types of people from all across the board: my amazing friends from college, or after or before, my coworkers, my room-mate, my family, and sometimes random strangers. It would be insane for any one person to think they had everything figured out and that they could not benefit from deep transparency and accountability with at least one other individual. The Biblical ideal of community and relationship and walking together becomes more and more real and necessary to me all the time.
3. Teaching. I've listened to some great sermons, some great songs, and been challenged by others equipped to expound upon Biblical Truth. My home pastor, my friends, random pastors I've been able to hear, singer/songwriters, Mike Glenn from Brentwood Baptist. Each of them do what they have been built and equipped to do, and it's beautiful. It makes me want to fully let go and brace myself for what niche God has for me to fill in His beautiful scheme of accomplishing His glory.
4. Stillness. Over the holidays I've been able to just slow down a bit. Stop pressuring myself with deadlines and "efficiency" and just exist the best way I know how in each moment. It's hard to retrain yourself, but it's worth it and I want to get better at it. I need time to process, to rethink, to assess. I know you're all thinking "yeah, right, like you need more chance to analyze". But I actually do. My thoughts need to be bathed in Scripture and cleansed with Truth. And the final result should be a person who looks more like Jesus.

I've decided that's it. You can call it my New Year's resolution if you need to, but that's my life plan: look more like Jesus. Conform to what He would do and how He would love and how He would trust His Father's plan. I want to move towards the eternal and let go of more and more temporal. Do I think I can do this? No, not quickly and definitely not without failing, but His Word is true. His mercies ARE new every morning. And what else is worth striving for?

Friday's adventure

First, I'll need to provide some background. I received a speeding ticket back in August on I-40, and I made the cursed mistake of getting it in Putnam County. I'm not sure if the county just needs money or maybe speeding is their greatest pet peeve. But these people don't play. There's no driving school. They don't lower your speed at all. They don't care about much besides you paying your money. Well, they have built in one concession that if you are going over ten miles over the limit but under 15, you can do community service but STILL pay at least the full price of your ticket and keep it off your record. 4 hours of service for each mile over ten over that you were going.

Well, I was rolling about 85 in a 70 (don't let your jaw drop; it's I-40). So yep, I got 20 hours due Jan. 12 with a recent extension until Feb. 16th.

I started calling around when I got back from California the first part of December, and no one would return my calls, or they don't do court-ordered community service, or we need volunteers only from 9 to 5. I tried again the week between Christmas and New Years to no avail. So this week, I'm getting stressed and desperate, and I'm just asking people to give me ideas if they can't help. Oh, and did I mention it has to be at a nonprofit organization and NOT at a church. Ugh. I feel a debate rising there, but I'll trudge on.

So after much prayer and desperate calling, I got in touch with Safehaven Family Shelter and spoke with a nice young woman from Scotland (with the coolest accent). She said she could get me my hours if I would just come in yesterday afternoon to meet her (because I'd be working with kids). And it was so neat. It's one of the few shelters that houses the families together. They each get a large room with many beds in it. They're required to work, give 75% of their salary for the shelter to return to them as a nest egg when they leave, and all the kids have chores around the shelter. I was just working on the computer when some of the kids started trickling in. They are definitely not shy, and they immediately came over the meet me, ask me questions, try to help me, and some just wanted to be touching me. I loved it. Their need for affection was touching and saddening. But I get to hang out with them again today and a few more times.

I'm way excited about this opportunity, regardless of what spawned it. I'll keep you posted...ha, posted. That's funny.

Yay! It's a new year,
and I'm learning to manipulate HTML coding! Woohoo! Trust me; I have to be excited because that's about all the good that happened today. I went to my rotation, which wasn't too bad but not mind-blowing either. Then I decided to run over to Bread and Company for lunch just across West End. As I was snaking my way out of my car (the car beside me was close), my door shut behind me...with my bag inside...with my keys and cellphone...and the door was locked. So I didn't immediately panic. I was actually proud of myself for making it into Borders and asking for the phone and a phonebook. The guy was supernice and sympathetic as I called a few people before someone told me a timeframe I was willing to deal with. 30 minutes. So it takes about 45 or more, and the dispatcher girl who will say anything because she knows she'll never have to see you acts annoyed that I don't have a contact number. Um...cellphone in the car...what part of that did you not get? So FINALLY this kid shows up and charges more than should ever be allowed for 2 minutes of work. Seriously, this is like highway robbery. I get back to the office, and it's no big deal. The woman I'm shadowing is supernice and a Beth Moore fan. Plus.

I finally make it home after an hour of crazy traffic, and I check the mailbox. Well, I get one of those little keys that allows you to open a larger parcel box where they put mail that won't fit into our little slot. Well, there's no label on the key. There are five possible boxes for it to open. So I try them all, and I will have you know that it opened not a single one of them! So I left a nice little note for the postal worker to please help me get my package. We'll see how he or she responds.

Then I get a call from a friend needing help. But the help she needs is not help I am able to give her. Situations out of my control such as this one make me mad and make me want to cry because I can do nothing about it. I can and will pray about it. I trust that God is in control, but in the meantime, I'd like to just try violence to beat sense into people. How do you deal with people you love living in deception? Not just deception, but ultimately destruction. What's that coping mechanism? Better yet, how do you talk to them without expressing anger at having to witness their demise?

Things out of my control is obviously God's first lesson for me in 2007. Man, it's a tough one. I tend to pray for humility at the craziest of times. I think He likes answering that one a little too much.

The Christmas celebration is over, and it's been a great one. I love getting to be around my family and old friends. However, I'm not super-excited about jumping back into things on rotation in Nashville. I look forward to learning more and being exposed to more, and of course this residency circus promises to be an adventure. But overall, I get that creeping, overwhelming sense of the monkey on your back. Those of you in school, especially with me the past few years know exactly what I'm talking about. It's that feeling that you should be doing more. Studying more, learning more, getting more done. Ugh. It's the worst. It handicaps you from being able to exist completely in your present situation because you're stressing about the future.

About a month ago, I had been reading through Psalms and trying to get a hold of God's Sovereignty through the writings of David. And peace came easy. Then I let go of it at some point. And started depending on my own strength (which we all know leads to disaster).

Now I start the slow trek back up that hill. And just in time, because I can't afford to enter 2007 with a deceived perception. I want to live fully the adventures God has coming my way. I want to abide in the peace He freely offers with just the knowledge of Who He is.

Sidebar: Congrats to Ben Doc and his new fiance on their recent engagement. And last but certainly not least, Congrats to my girl Britt and Caleb on their more recent engagement!

"I'll be home for Christmas"

...like today. I'm going to brave the headache that is I-40 and truck it back to cozy, little Huntingdon. I need to see my fam. Being up in Nashville without school and only the residency stress to keep me company has been a bit of a downer. I need rejuvenation. I need to be reminded of all the amazing family God has blessed me with and what I mean to them. And more importantly, how I can learn to become more like them.

I hope each of you has safe travels and a blessed Christmas. The exciting thing is that this is where it all starts for those who believe in Jesus. This is the celebration of the beginning of His story. It still baffles me that He came "while we were yet sinners" (Romans 5:8).

L.A., take it back!

We don't want it. Yeah, that's right. Your weather. You can keep it. It's nice and all to be 70 year-round with a nice breeze, but just let us experience it when we visit. Don't be trekking it over here to Tennessee. We like our Christmas cold-ness. So go back. What's the point of me getting a new coat for Christmas if I have to wait until I move next June to a colder climate to wear it? I've given up all hope for snow, but seriously. I want it to be chilly. I miss the natural rosiness of everyone's cheeks and nose. It's cute.

We're not trying to be California over here. We like that we experience both winter and summer. But now we're just getting a year long summer-autumn. I would at least like it to drop below 50 at some point before Christmas day. Maybe?

From the Facebook group "The Wit and Wisdom of Jada Butler"...

I couldn't resist. These are a treat...

Did ya'll know everyone's got tonsils? Sick! Get it, tonsils!"--Submitted by Matt Owens

"Prussia? You're just making up countries now." --Submitted by Daniel Freeman

"There is no such person as President William McKinnely! Ya'll are makin stuff up...oh and he was an SAE too...yeah I bet. Ya'll are really makin stuff up now!"--Submitted by Jacob O'Brien

"I am lost as the day is dawn."--submitted by Meghan Deakins

"Sick, Mowens, are you afraid of getting melanoma or something?" (In response to Matt ordering a well done hamburger)--Submitted by Matt Owens

"Yeah I like Japanese food...its American."--Submitted by Meghan Deakins

"My hands don't stink...they smell like the world."--Submitted by Kyle McCann

"I could beat her up with sticks and cans"--Submitted by Meghan Deakins

"I hate water... it tastes like liquid air!"

"Jesus wasn't white; He spoke Arabian!" - submitted by Jacob O'Brien

My personal fave..."It's cold as Methuselah in here."

Please don't get the wrong impression. She's a smart girl. She definitely made better grades in the chemistry department at Union than I did. She just doesn't always think before she speaks. And that makes her way fun to be around...at least for the laughs. No, seriously, we love her. You would too, after you stopped laughing.

What about your friends?

Anybody hearing the old TLC song? Come on, you know it.

I always go on and on about my family and how much I love them. And I do. They're great, and I'm overwhelmingly blessed to have them. But I also have a bombin' group of amazing individuals that I get to call "friends".

I love how hard times brings them into the spotlight or sifts them up like gold-diggers panning for gold in the stream. I know, what a dumb analogy, but you get it. Just this week I've gotten to speak to so many of my friends who are miles and oceans away. This is not an exhaustive list, but to name a few:

• My girl Reagan up in Philly. I draw so much strength from a fellow loud sista' who loves life and sees everything as an adventure and a learning experience
• Donna, my airport driver who's picked me up more than once now and listened to me whine through tears. Plus, she always laughs at my jokes. You gotta keep those close.
• Nat, a consistent communicator, always willing to lend an ear and a word of encouragement
• Britt, my girl that I get to talk with the lisp with and laugh about life and love with
• My roommate Katie, who listens and supports and shares about her life and lets me share about mine
• My friend Jenn down in Texas, who loves me unconditionally and makes me believe I'm a minister to her
• TB, my med school friend, always willing to share a meal or hang out...and did I mention the bomb at some flag football?
• Cesar, an old friend from high school, who I've recently gotten back into contact with in the last month
• Tim Yzzy, up in Washington state, catching up about life and surprisingly encouraged me with a convo he had with a friend recently
• last but certainly not least, the tried-and-true buddy across the ocean, Mr. Casey Stafford. finally got to talk to him on the phone today. It was exactly the encouragement I needed. That's my dog, right there.

I can't wait to see and speak with more over the holidays. I'm thankful that God has chosen to bless me with friends. They make life so much more enjoyable, and sometimes it takes them to make it bearable. The unconditional love of Christ has been much easier to accept and understand through the friendships He has given me.

Praise the Lord for friends!

After driving back to Nashville from home today, I went to Kairos, the Bible study for young people held at Brentwood Baptist on Tuesday nights. I love hearing from Brother Mike Glenn, and I usually enjoy the music, and I needed some restoration and refreshment. And it was dead-on, as usual. On my trip back, I was able to speak with Katie Rae, the woman that discipled me at Union. We hadn't talked on the phone for an extended amount of time in months, so this was also needed and therapeutic. She shared some great Truth (as she usually does) about practicing the presence of God, and it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

Tonight he spoke about the Christmas story and made the point that God never complained that Jesus was born in a stable. He just used what was there as a place to get started. Not to diminish His Sovereignty in the orchestration of the event, but He didn't set them up in a four-star hotel. And the Bible never mentions an innkeeper. God can do whatever He wants with what He chooses to use. That was his challenge. He just wants to get started. Same thing with Abraham. Abe wasn't bringing anything to the table, and God (obviously) knew that. But that's where He wanted to get things started.

So the same applies to us. Nothing DEPENDS on us. He just wants to get started. And we need to bring what scraps we have to offer for the process. That's our celebration of the Christmas story. We need to join in what He's already started, and let Him get started on and in us.

Anaheim and residency madness

I've had a blast so far in Cali. I had fun with Will Saturday, meeting his friends and seeing LA. Then I got to hear John McArthur preach Sunday morning. It was really neat. He's a great teacher and a thorough Biblical scholar. He referenced his statements throughout the message with exact Scripture passages. Very impressive.

Best part: when he came on stage to preach, the 70-person choir was still standing, so he made a motion with his hand for them to sit, and they did. Then he said, "Wow, I didn't know I could do that. That's about all I can command around here. Me and Benny Hen." How funny is that? I busted up laughing. I couldn't believe he dropped that from the pulpit. It was nice to hear a little humor from one of today's greats.

Then I came to Anaheim via Will's gracious travel service (he drove me all the way down here). I was immediately thrown into the ASHP chaos once I found the correct hotel. (I got him to drop me off at the wrong one by mistake.)

I had a blast with my roomies and all the old friends and pharmacy contacts I've made throughout the years. I met and spoke with different programs around the country to see where I might like to end up next year. The showcase is so helpful. I was able to narrow down my 24 interests to about 5 good programs that I'll be applying to. I'm not going to list them on here since they might be subject to change, but if you're interested, email me and I'll fill you in. I'm excited. And just to give some hints, I'm not going to end up in TN. I'm not even applying to any programs here. So come visit me wherever I go!

So yesterday, I woke up at 1:45 a.m. to get ready, pack my stuff, and leave for LA from Anaheim. My friend Sara and I were on our way to meet other UT friends outside CBS studios to get in line for "The Price is Right". We were told we needed to be there by around 4 in order to secure a spot in the audience. Ugh. I had two hours sleep. But we got on the show. It was an all-day process of getting in-line, waiting, being told to come back, then more waiting. Then they started taping. My friend Paula had made these great neon green shirts with glitter on them for us to wear. There was eight of us, total. We kept hoping they would call anyone from our group, but it never happened. We still had fun, though. With such little sleep, we were delirious the entire day. But it was worth it to see Bob Barker way up close before he retires. He's so nice; the whole set crew is. And the stage is sooo much smaller than it looks on TV. Very sneaky, the TV people.

Now I'm hanging with Will in LA. It's a really neat city. We're eating sushi with my pharm school friends and previous roomies tonight. Then I head back on Sunday evening. I have a busy month of applying, writing, working, volunteering, and wrapping to get back to. Ugh.

Catching Up

Okay, so I've been meaning to blog for over a week now, and I haven't been able to sit still long enough to get something banged out. And I don't really have time now, but I'm practicing discipline. There are so many cool things that have been going on and that I've been learning. I wish I had time to tell them all, but I don't...maybe later.

Part of my hectic-ness has been due to my trip today. I leave for Anaheim, CA for this beastly pharmacy conference which involves hospital pharmacists, residency programs, and residency applicants from all over the country. Enter me. I have emailed about 24 programs that caught my eye initially. I've been able to narrow it down some since then, and this conference where I'll get to meet people and ask questions will help do that even further. My goal is to pare down to only 5 to which I would like to apply. Friends from my class and from our faculty will be there, and I'm also excited about spending time with them. It should be fun.

Before and after the conference, I'm hanging out with my gracious friend Will, who will be driving me all over California, from what I understand. J/k, but he is going out of his way to haul me to my hotel then pick me up later in the week. Since he lives in LA, we don't get to hang out much, as you can imagine. So it should be lots of fun to hang out with a friend, see LA, and see HIS version of LA. Plus, did I mention the kid worked for Clint Eastwood's company? How cool is that?

On life in general, God has been teaching me so much lately, and it's been so sweet. After Hungary, I had been asking for more faith in His Sovereignty in order for me to stop stressing about stuff and start truly TRUSTING that everything would work out...even if we got some bruises along the way. And I can't tell the small miracles I've seen since then. It's so wierd why we don't just ask for this stuff in the first place! How many times in His Word does He tell us to do that? Humans, ugh. I just finished a great month at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and met some nice people. I was with Paula, a girl from my class, and once again, made a closer friendship with a classmate, which has happened now on almost every rotation. God so provides.

I better be going, but I'll update cuz I'm taking my computer with me. Please pray for discernment, wisdom, humility, and that God will orchestrate my desires in order to lead me down the path that brings Him the most glory. My ultimate desire hasn't changed. I want people to know Jesus. They need Him, and He deserves their worship. So pray that God will make clear what residency will best grow me and equip me to be a better pharmacist and a better minister.

Had a bombin' weekend. It's not even over all the way. It started on Friday when I met up with Jada and Payten for supper at Carabba's. Place is money if you don't already know. We had fun catching up, cutting up, and carrying on. We then moved the party to my apartment. It may seem odd because the three of us are so different, but we've totally moved into that stage of sisterhood where we have a blast together. We understand each other, and the friendships are thick because you know the good, the bad, the ugly, and you've had years of life together to accept each other in spite of it.

Here's what the "Butler girls" hanging out might consist of: We're ripping on Jada because she'll make silly comments, or she has a tendency to say things that throw you off like, "I didn't know you had to pay for electricity. I figured if you bought the bulb, the electricity came for free." or one of my personal faves: "It's cold as Methuselah in here." The list goes on. Ask her friends. But we love her: she's high drama, high fashion, and very family-oriented. Payten will be the one dishing the dry, sarcastic jokes and coming out with some random bouts of energy. Just challenge her to a screaming contest. My whole building hates me now. I'm usually the one sharing stories and neurotic analyses of various situations and issues. They're nice enough to listen in pretend amusement until we all come to the conclusion that I'm crazy. Then we move on.

Once we met back up at my apt, Payten decided she needed ice cream and Jada wanted a coke. So we make the late-nite trip to the nearby Kroger, already in a sub-state of delirium. And keep in mind, once Jada gets going and cutting up, she doesn't care who's around or what she's saying or how loud she's saying it. That brought some fun stares. Our trip was complete when I made mention of a beastly muffler someone had tried to gee up a lowrider with. It was no more than 5 inches from the ground. All it took was me saying it looked like the car had hemorrhoids before Jada did all but fall on the pavement in laughter. That drove me to the Lauren-Webb-cackle, and the three of us were out of control. Fun times.

We watched a movie, went to bed, then got up way too early to meet Meemaw and Jasper for breakfast at Shoney's. I can't even remember the last time I went to Shoney's. But it was good. Payten was going to the Boro today to visit friends, and Jada and I went to the TN-Vandy game with the extra tickets that Meemaw and Uncle Jasper had. It was such a good game. I had so much fun. TN finally showed up, and it was so satisfying to witness firsthand. I did kinda pity some of the nice Vandy fans near me, though. TN fans ARE rough. Maybe not any worse than the rest of the SEC, but man, they get rowdy.

And yes, this post is in orange in honor of my boys. They showed out today.

So that's my fun weekend. Not too much to mention post- those events. I hope yours was good. What did you do?

Rachel Ray

Everyone tells me I look like her or remind them of her, so I decided to establish her skills as well. Well, maybe not HER skills, but through fun experimentation, I'm hoping to end up with some of my own. Katie was out of town tonight so it was the perfect time to take over the kitchen and concoct something interesting. For some reason, I always tend to get creative when it comes to cooking. I don't do it often enough to have habits. So I just wing it...every time. Sometimes it works out; others are not so great. I've got at least a few years before I'm cooking for anybody besides myself, so I can afford a few mistakes.

As for tonight...two out of three ain't bad. That's all I'm saying.

Refreshed

That's how I felt tonight after hearing words and music from

Jimmy Needham

at Lascassas Baptist Church. His style is extremely unique: acoustic guitar, young white boy, and a funky, almost motown-ish feel. And his voice, the kid's voice was astounding. He's only a senior at Texas A & M, but he owned his voice like a seasoned artist would. Lots of jazzy scaling and soulful improvs.

But the most valuable thing this guy has to offer is his passion for Truth and sharing it. His set lasted about an hour and a half, but he only sang about 5 songs. He shared so much with gut-honesty about the need to spread the Gospel. That phrase gets played out but when he kept bringing Scripture that magnified the ULTIMATE, ETERNAL purpose of GOD'S GLORY through the salvation offered through Jesus Christ. What are we doing? What do we spend our days, our hours, our minutes thinking and talking about? The Bible's very clear about our lives on earth being but a vapor, a VAPOR! If you divided up our "investments" of time and energy into two categories: TEMPORAL and ETERNAL, how much would we be "worth"?

He even spoke specifics about miracles Jesus is currently doing in parts of Asia, because the people BELIEVE. It's not that He ever stopped working in that way; it's that we stopped expectantly and faithfully asking Him to. I was just ashamed when Jimmy was telling the story, because I knew no weak prayer of mine at this point in my Walk would ever be used to perform "Only Jesus Could" calibur miracles. Over there, even the nonbelievers know that He's the only God able to do such things, and they accept it. It doesn't even occur to me to ask for it in the beginning.

Then he spoke about India. And ever since I heard Andrew Osenga speak of it at a concert of his in June, it's kinda been pulling at my heart. Plus, my buddy Stephen Billings took a mission team there this summer, and I was praying for that trip and the people there. So I can't tell if God is giving me a glimpse of His future for me or if India is just the new China in terms of unreached people in the spotlight. If you have a minute and want to work on the discipline of prayer, I would really appreciate your help in discerning this. But no hurry, I have a peace and an understanding that He will show me where He wants me just in time to get me there.

In the meantime, He is so faithful to sustain me and even give me favor in my current situation. Unlike my Monday, I'm loving this rotation. Paula, my classmate that I'm paired with this month, is a great coworker. We always have a good time; she's upbeat, pleasant, smart, and she surprisingly laughs at many of my jokes. That's always a plus. And Dr. Wright is great. She's very intelligent, great at her job, direct about what she expects, and has a good sense of humor as well. Great qualities to find in a preceptor.

Since I've been back from Europe, I haven't been as stressed. I think it's some of the American that rubbed off of me. And I like being without it. I'm not saying I'm not thankful to live in this country. BELIEVE ME. I am. But there are negatives. And being driven by goals of accruing money and saving time is something I can live healthier without.

Simplicity has been a somewhat lofty goal of mine for a while. But now it seems closer. And I can even see it. Some of the things Jimmy said tonight gave me a glimpse of what it looks like. And it centers on Christ...and fellowship with Him. Which requires time...set aside for Him. So that's the new goal. Genuine time spent in His Word and in prayer, not the five minutes after my morning shower or the 3 before I fall asleep. I'll be honest. I'm scared as I type this. Because then it's documented. Maybe you could pray for that too.

Oh yeah, little pop quiz: What's after "Be still and know that I am God"? The rest of the verse is the key and one of the points Jimmy made tonight.

Speaking of bombin' pics...

Please if you have some time, check out Reema's pics from Africa. They're amazing. Her blog is linked on the left here. It's called "Reems in Botswana". Some of her shots look professional and some surreal. So neat. See them for yourself.

Yay, got a few pics up...

And I mean, not too many. I have them arranged as slideshows on my myspace. Check them at www.myspace.com/lwebb9 . Trust me, I have tons more, but these are some good ones...

Yeah, so, uh, being back isn't as glamorous as I remember it. lol. Don't misunderstand me: I'm very thankful to be back in the US, to get to be near my family and friends, and to get to sleep in my bed (which may be named a world wonder, because it's definitely one of the best places on earth). However, today back at my rotation at the pediatric hospital at Vanderbilt, reality hit me...and I think it left a bruise.

I think it will be a great month. I know I'll learn a ton. But I'm already dragging. I have to be there at 7, which means getting up around 5. Geesh. My eyelids start getting heavy anytime I sit down...which is most of the day since rounds are done around a table instead of in patient rooms, then I have to prepare my patients (sitting at a computer), then we conference with my precepter (sitting down). The Lecia Webb-syndrome kicks in, and I'm out in 2.5. I say that because Lecia also has a tendency to get droopy-eyed as soon as she sits. I'm trying to wean myself from the caffeine I lived off of in Europe. In fact, I'm currently suffering a withdrawal headache as I type. I must push through.

This weekend was great. It was suchhhhhh a blessing to see my family. I didn't get enough time with them, though. I could have spent weeks there. I was so sad I cried on the way home. lol. I am more and more convinced every year of my life that I have the best family on earth. I love them...all...even the tough ones. I'm so proud of them. I know them, the good and the bad, and can still say they're some of the best people I've ever met. That's the real deal. And there's a ton of people like that in my family. I'm so blessed. I'm not bragging...I'm just expressing gratitude for what God placed in my life. Besides, their coolness doesn't make me cool by association. I wish it did. Then I'd be the coolest kid in Carroll County...even though I don't live in Carroll County anymore. Maybe I'm tired. I think I should stop now.

I'm back

I think I'm supposed to say, "and better than ever" after that. Hopefully that's the case. We'll see. I feel a little overwhelmed by the transition before me. I am so comforted and excited to be home and around what was "normal" a month ago, but I'm not the same person now. And I'm glad. I feel older, more seasoned...which is hilarious, I know it was only a month. But I've seen and experienced so much. America is so limited in its perspective sometimes. I know I have been.

Funny story...so after travelling ALL day yesterday (from Budapest to Amsterdam to Detroit then to Nashville), Payten picked me up at the airport. I called Katie, my roomie, to make sure she was there to let me in when I got home. I had left her a myspace message a couple of days earlier to let her know when I'd be home. Well, turns out that Katie is Birmingham for a job interview and is not returning until Sunday. AND she hadn't checked her myspace in a week or so. I'm tired, I'm frustrated- not at Katie, just with the situation, and I just want my bed. There's not room for extra people in Payten's dorm room, and there was so much I needed to do at my apt. So I called a locksmith, and I was able to finally get in. Ugh. The drama never ends. Nothing's simple. I think part of it is my fault because I prayed for safe and simple travel home, but left out the getting into my house part. lol.

I was only able to sleep about 5 hours last night. I woke up at 7 ready to take on the world. I don't know if it's my circadian rhythm or my excitement to see my fam that's got me off-kilter. Maybe a little conglomeration of both.

I promise to write more about my post-trip observations once they've had time to consolidate. Right now I just want to hug a lot of people whose faces haven't blessed me in over a month.

Vienna 2 A few notable things about Vienna: 1. It´s been honkin´ cold since we´ve been here...definitely the coldest we´ve been this whole month. Crazy brisk winds. 2. When the bus stops, get your butt on it! Throw ´bows if you have to. After the bus taking off before Lan actually stepped on it in Lithuania, we were used to rude drivers...HOWEVER, when homeboy shut the doors on Lan and Jackie right behind me, I bout flipped. They just banged on the door, and he let them on. Good for him he didn´t drive off. lol. You know I woulda given him an earful of English he didn´t wanna hear. 3. Everything shuts down about 6...all the shops. Capitalism has not made its way over here yet. Unless it´s a pub, tea or coffee house, or some souvenir shops, it´s closed about dark. Craziness. Where´s a homie supposed to find some fruit? 4. The people are very diverse here...all colors and sizes. It´s kinda nice, but it makes it hard to get a feel for what Austrian culture might look like. 5. Everybody´s about some Mozart here...they claim him. They even sell these amazing special chocolates named after him. The chocolate is combined with hazelnut cream and marzipan, which is like a super-condensed sugar (kinda tastes like amaretto flavoring, I really like it). 6. The Hapsburg dynasty is way more interesting than I ever thought it could be. We´ve now toured Schonbrunn Palace as well as the Hofburg, the summer and winter homes of the family, and they lived large to say the least. It´s just crazy the elaborate detail that went into everything from architecture to plates. Interesting people. There will be much more observations about Europeans in general to come once I´ve arrived at home and had time for consolidation of all my new experiences. We leave for Budapest by train tomorrow afternoon, then one night at good ole Hotel Ibis, then headed to TN! I can´t wait. Not that I haven´t enjoyed my time here, but I just miss home. Thank you all so much for reading, replying, texting, emailing, and commenting. Nat- I can´t wait to see pics of the Kleenex box. Will- thanks for the proofreading, I´m gonna blame the humongous hurry I´m always in to bang these posts out since I´m usually paying for the time. Lecia- my most faithful person-who-misses-me-and-lets-me-know-it, I have gotten your texts and have been so excited to receive them. I haven´t texted back because it costs me 0.50 per outgoing text. I love you, and I can´t wait to see you this weekend! Tell Dad I love him! Mom and Lee, I miss you guys, you have to see Prague someday, and can we have spaghetti Friday night when I get home? Everyone, Happy Halloween! Austrians just started celebrating it three years ago, so not much trick-or-treating going on. Oh well, trust me, it hasn´t stopped us from eating candy. lol.

Vienna 1

This blog´s gonna be hard to pull off since the keyboard I´m working with ain´t English...or angol as they say in Hungarian.

Backtracking a little, last Friday night, Lan and I were just taking it easy, chilling in Budapest, taking in all the sights we hadn´t seen. Since the beginning, Lan has wanted to get her hair cut while she was here. Every time we passed a salon, she would say, "Oh, we´ll do it later. No big deal." Well, the more we saw places, the more I wanted to get mine cut too. She went so far as to get a picture out of a magazine in order to make it easier for the stylist to understand, just in case there was a language barrier.

So as we´re strolling leisurely down Raday Street, a famous little nook with bombin´ restaurants and cute little shops, we drop in on a salon. We have no idea whether you have to make an appointment, so we just sit around until someone approaches us. Surprise...they knew we were American and the girl who spoke English finally came over to ask if she could help us. Lan was nervous about getting up to bat without the pic, so I volunteered to go ahead. And the woman totally understood. She had great English, and I had no problem trusting her. And it turned out okay. All the nasty, dead ends I was tired of seeing are now gone and my hair´s a little shorter. Lan has an appointment with the lady next week.

Saturday night Lan´s friend Jackie arrived at our hotel, and she was so excited to see her best friend. It was so neat that the two of us have gotten to spend time in Europe with our best friends our last two weekends. We all got settled in and packed for Vienna, which we arrived in today.

But not before drama...we had purchased a pack of subway tickets and were on our way to the train station via the metro. We had to change lines, and Lan had read that one ticket was good for 30 minutes even if there´s a transfer. So we didn´t think much of it. When we get off at the train station, there are "controllers" there checking tickets. It´s not like in the US where there´s a physical barrier to get to the metro. They just let you go and fine you if they catch you. Luck of the draw, I guess you could say. So we´re coming up the escalator, hand a guy our tickets, and he pulls us aside. The guy pretends he´s speaking English as he explains that these are no good for the transfer, and sure enough, it´s written on the back of the ticket. Great. I tried to explain to him that we thought they WERE good for transfer, and I´m pretty sure he either didn´t understand what I was saying or didn´t care. I´m probably gonna go with the latter. So homeboy fined us each about 12 dollars. I was livid. And we´re not even convinced he didn´t keep it. Ugh. But we finally got on our train.

Where I had to sit by a European that either doesn´t own deodorant or doesn´t find it necessary to shower every day. It kills me. I will never understand. I cannot believe that people enjoy that smell or don´t notice it. No way that´s possible.

But we made it to Vienna. As usual in a new city (just like in Prague), we have a hard time making it to our lodging. We had directions from the place from an email, and I tried my best to follow them as I knew how. And basically we´re about 8 miles and 30 minutes away from all that is Vienna. BUT we are on top of this hill beside a castle of a hotel with a beautiful view of the city. This is Lan´s and my second hostel experience, and it´s worked out okay. Our main requirements were no mixed quarters, shower and toilet en suite, and decent price. We got all that here.

We´ve done limited traipsing around the city center. This place is beautiful. St. Stephen´s Cathedral stopped us dead in our tracks. It´s amazing at night; we can´t wait to see it tomorrow. More to come...

"Being hard-headed doesn't mean being hard-hearted"

Wise words of Lan's as we were talking over sushi tonight. We took the day slowly, getting up when we wanted, went to the mall to catch a movie, then ate sushi at a place near the cinema. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that yesterday, we wore out Buda by checking out St. Mathias church, Fisherman's Bastion, the Buda Castle, and the Labyrinth underneath the castle. We did some mad souvenir shopping as well. Got a lot done.

So back to today. I was reading this morning in Ephesians 3, and I was really convicted about how Paul spoke with such conviction, faith, and humility, and with such purpose. Lan and I have had many great opportunities to discuss my faith, the Bible, and the doctrine by which I believe. So after reading this morning, I was really convicted that she hasn't seen what it's all about since she's seen me be impatient, unforgiving, easily frustrated, and judgmental. I knew there would be a time later on for me to discuss this so I waited. Sushi seemed like the right atmosphere. I started by asking her if she knew other people closely who were professing Christians. When she didn't come up with any immediate examples, I kinda felt bad. If I was it, I knew it wasn't good. As I started explaining myself, I started tearing up! In the middle of the mall where were eating! This made her uncomfortable, but we suffered through it. I was glad to get it off my heart about there's so much to this Christian life when it's done right and that my life's not the best example to look at. She was surprised that it went that deep and that I was so hard on myself. This coming after last night, where I had a horrible night, being frustrated at every turn, and ready to snap...long story, not worth launching into. Long story short, we had a great talk about my faith story, my call to missions, and other general life truths. I know it was ordained. Thanks for all who are praying for me.

Last Leg

I'm on mine...of this trip, anyway.

I'm convinced that Lecia, my loving and faithful stepmom, is the only person that reads these updates based on response. I think maybe Donna and Leela, and Casey...maybe that's it. It's funny how "out of sight, out of mind" really applies more than you would think. My friend Nat and I always talk/complain/laugh about how we're the friends that keep in touch with our friends and if we stopped calling, we would have no friendships left. This trip has kinda nailed that home. lol. I don't know why it surprised me, but being here is not that far when it comes to the internet. I've checked email, myspace, and blogs almost every day by some means or another. And even texted on my cell. That's all. Just wanted to share observations.

Szeged

Szeged was gorgeous...a beautiful credit to Hungary. The city has around 160,000 people and many of them are university students from around the world. It seems like many of the universities in Hungary have students from all over...mainly Iran, Germany, and even some from the US. We were greeted at the train station by Leela, a pharmacist who had traveled to Memphis and is currently expecting her second child in February. She was gracious to show us the city center...a cute little courtyard lined with shops, banks, and confectionaries...a favorite of mine and Lan's. She showed us Dom Square, this huge, open courtyard with a catchedral at one end and the other three sides are lined with classrooms. Great pictures to come. She then took us outside the city to her mother's pharmacy, where we were given a tour and a chance to set down with refreshments. Her mother was extremely hospitable and mentioned that she enjoyed our presentation at Siofok. They even asked for a copy of the file! We had another good discussion about the current state of pharmacy and healthcare in the country and the government. Leela's mother seemed interested in the clinical aspect being added in order for private pharmacists in Hungary to secure their niche with the patient. The problem is that the government wants to "liberalize" over-the-counter products and allow them to be offered in places like Walmart or gas stations. They are currently only available from a pharmacist. It's safer this way and allows the pharmacist to play a role in the process. If people just go around guessing without knowing the potential effects (interactions with disease states or current medications), the costs may actually be greater on the later end (such as emergency room bills). It's what the pharmacists in Hungary are working hard against currently.

Our hotel was super-nice, the Novotel in Szeged. It was walking distance from the city center and the university. The following day we toured the university and sat in on a lecture being given in English on Rheumatology. It was a great review for Lan and me, and we were able to talk with the students who were from Iran and Egypt. We had actually seen two of them at the amazing dessert shop we stopped in the day before. They were really interested in the role pharmacists get to play in healthcare here in the US. Many of the students here wish their education was less chemistry-based and more clinically-based. We are very fortunate.

We then toured a pediatric hospital with a clinical pharmacy named George. He took us to the NICU, and I almost lost my breath when I saw a premie that was about the size of my palm hooked up to about a million tubes. I don't know if I could do that job...taking care of such a small, fragile existence. I guess we'll see next month...I'm doing pediatrics at Vandy.

George was super-nice, and he ended up inviting us to this "ball" for the first year med and pharmacy students. lol. Lan and I were all wierded out because all these kids (about 18 or so) were decked the heck out in gowns and suits. And there we were in pants and sweaters...hilarious. I tried to at least dress up my makeup, but you know, there's only so much you can do. But we had fun. George, much like everyone else we meet, was surprised and disappointed when he found out he was hosting the only two girls in pharmacy school that didn't drink. Evidently our predecessors from last year set the bar high. lol. After him having a few, he dragged me out on the dance floor and I pretended to know some swing moves as we twisted and shouted to a couple of songs. I didn't wait too long to rescue Lan standing there alone with my purse (Lan refuses to dance...always).

One of the bouncers was some award-winning cage/street fighter that spent some time in Sacramento or San Francisco, one of those places. I tried to get my pic taken with him, but he refused...I think because he was working. He was nice, though. After talking to George about various things, we realize that we'd seen the kid before! During our karaoke escapade at the Kongress in Siofok, he had been on stage with us, singing over Lan's shoulder during our rendition of Red, Red, Wine! How crazy is that? We always say that the pharmacy world is small, but we had no idea it went worldwide!

The next day was laid-back, and we were able to enjoy a last day of walking around, eating a nice lunch with Leela on the River Tisza, and then heading for the train station.

Yesterday we booked our train tickets and a hostel for Vienna. Lan's best friend Jackie arrives here in about an hour, and we're all going together tomorrow to return to Budapest on Wednesday. I'm excited about Vienna, but I'm more excited to see my fam next weekend! I'm sad that I won't be watching Huntingdon play in the playoffs, but maybe next year we'll have a team.

Bombs over Baghdad?

Or Budapest? Just kidding...nothing that severe. Lan and I said bye to Casey when he took us to the bus station. I was sad not to get to say goodbye to all the people we met from LCC, but time did not allow. And I even teared up when the bus was rolling out! lol. Lan and I had such a good time. I was glad she got to meet Casey. And I was way excited to get to see Casey and his life there.

We had no problems getting into Vilnius, finding the right bus, and making it to the airport. We had no problems getting back to Budapest at all. On our drive into the city, we saw a sea of flashing lights down one of the roads and realized that's where all these cops racing past us were ending up.

Yesterday was a national holiday marking the 50th anniversary of the revolution Hungarians effected from the Communistic occupation of the Soviets. Laypeople faught long and hard to get them out of their city and won for almost two weeks before the army came back hard and resolutely. The Hungarians are a very passionate and patriotic people. They wanted to celebrate their heroes that gave their lives 50 years ago. However, if you know anything about the current political climate here, you know that the prime minister has been caught on tape admitting that he and his party lied about the economy to get re-elected. People are still furious, but there's no Constitutional allowance that can force him out of office. Parliament's all his party people, the Socialists, so they're not getting him out either. He knows the people hate him, so in order to protect himself, he police-barricaded the formal ceremony commemorating the holiday from the public. Only he and the other international offices who came to visit were allowed at the ceremony. So the protesters got mad...threw things, yelled things, set up their own barricades. And the police threw tear gas and shot people with rubber bullets.

Lan and I returned around 6:30 p.m. or so. We saw the reports on BBC and figured we could just head to the outskirts to shop and eat and stuff. So we get on the subway...and the stop we chose to get off was shut down. We were confused, but we just decided the next stop would work. Well, evidently the party wasn't over. We walk up the steps to see all these people just standing around with Hungarian flags. There are people of all ages and none of them seem extreme, so we just kinda warily walk towards the street. Then we hear, "BANG, BANG, BANG!" And Lan even said she heard some women screaming, so we immediately grabbed hands and RAN down the steps back to the subway. Being from Huntingdon, TN, I knew what guns sounded like, and that was them. It may have been only rubber bullets, but we weren't staying around to find out. So we headed on down to the next stop and had no problems. The stop that was shut down was evidently the middle of the crossfire, and reports said the conflict went on late into the night. Thankfully, our hotel is not super-central, so we were not in any danger. But what an experience! We almost wanted to take pictures, but I valued my life too much to be conspicuous.

So that's the closest near-death experience we've had since we've been here. And it was only rubber bullets. lol. Today we caught a train to Szeged, a beautiful little city in southern Hungary. The last pharmacy school is here, and we get to tour it tomorrow. But Szeged is beautiful! It's one of the neatest, cutest towns I've seen in Hungary. The government has put money back into reconstruction and the city just makes you happy seeing all the beautiful colors and architecture. The university is beautiful as well. We only walked into one of the main courtyards, but looking around, I could so live somewhere like this. You can walk anywhere and the city center has everything you could possibly need. The little square being sprinkled with little cafes and dessert shops. We walked in one today, and I thought just looking around would give me diabetes.

More news on Szeged to come. Thanks for reading!